Soulsearching29 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 So a few of you may have followed my story. I decided to end and go NC with my friend of three years who was a FWB in the middle for a year and a half. Because I am still really into him and love him and he doesn't feel the same way. The night it happened (our first talk about not talking anymore, after there were a couple of emails exchanged thats it) was a week ago. That same night I de-activated my Facebook .He is very active on Facebook and so was I. I had been thinking about doing it for a little while because I was obsessing about the comments women left on his updates (and knew because we were friends he'd told me who he was seeing, liked and was sleeping with) I wasn't obsessing about random likes from women, but just a few women, one I am not sure if he is still sleeping with but was until very recently, and another girl he fancies and they are friends) I have another facebook account I started 2 years ago in a vain attempt to get rid of my facebook school friends of years ago, and only have really current people on. So this second facebook is the only one i have now, and is has 25 or so people. Current friends, my sister and no posts and only a photo. (i love this clear simple one!) he is not on it. So I typed in his name with this facebook tonight thinking there would be minimal info and ''add friend'' (which i wouldn't) , and ..... his profile is completely public !! everything, every single post, zillions of photos, its all public. so even if i didn't have him on my big original FB and unfriended, i'd still see exactly all the same stuff !!! So my question is, how on earth do I stop looking????? Thats going to take all my willpower. Does anyone have or has had this problem ??? This guy, he posts maybe one thing a night and always has loads of likes and comments, sometimes a couple of things a night, a joke, a photo, a status, a music link.. i mean cmon it is so tempting. It means that I am looking as much as before. Just an hour ago he posted something that I knew would get a lot of comments from these women he knows (because it was about a local bar they all love) and it is sooo tempting to look every d**m 20 mins to see the new comments. The comments basically show me who he is getting on with, who likes him, where he was, if he says something sexy to someone or says 'looking forward to seeing you at xx place '' etc etc help and sadly and patheticly I didnt even split up with him last week as a FWB, we hadnt even been FWB for months and months, we were just friends (flirty and with history but for him i was now just a friend) any advice. is the only way not to look, or should i look (its not like he knows) and try not to do it very often starting to hate FB. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulsearching29 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 strange to have 77 views and no answers.. guess maybe facebook stuff is quite trivial. Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Deactivate your account. Done. Don't engage in this mindless torture and return to NC. You're going to survive. Stay strong, and avoid temptation. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I've had trouble with an ex's (completely public) Facebook account before. When I finally saw pics on there of him with another woman, I knew I had to stop torturing myself. Two semi-solutions: 1) You can block people even if you aren't friends with them on Facebook. They won't know that you're doing it and you won't be able to access any part of their page. 2) Look into the parental-control settings of your Internet browser, and restrict access to your ex's Facebook page. Neither of these are permanent/undoable solutions but they help you discipline yourself, and sometimes you do need that helping hand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulsearching29 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 thanks i just deleted the second fb !!! freeee !!! no more FB AT ALL. cant ever look at his life going on fine without me, or be sad or insecure about it all because i no longer have a fb account whatsoever !!!! . Yes :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetheart5381 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 thanks i just deleted the second fb !!! freeee !!! no more FB AT ALL. cant ever look at his life going on fine without me, or be sad or insecure about it all because i no longer have a fb account whatsoever !!!! . Yes :-) Good job! FB is tough with relationship stuff and being a FWB is even tougher when you get attached and look to social media to find out info (that you most likely don't want to see). Link to post Share on other sites
sweetheart5381 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Truth is, I am a FB addict and am here at LS trying to ignore it. Link to post Share on other sites
nada2013 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 (edited) His fb is private and i still try to look Edited April 4, 2013 by nada2013 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulsearching29 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 yes but nada 2013 it's different! you can only look for a min.. if it says 'add friend' and just the new cover photo or whatever i.e. such limited info, then after about 30 secs you've got nothing to do on his page... you know what i mean? when it's public, every single time you check back there could be a whole new big status update with tons of comments, there could be photos, there could be a photo of him and new girl or a status update saying 'very excited about tonight :-)'' etc etc etc etc !!! when it's public there is so much more to look , so much longer to take and much more reason to have stupid desires to check every hour ugh. ! i'm free, today was first non-facebook day and feels great :-) :-) i am getting a writing project done instead and its so interesting !! Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Blocking someone eliminates your ability to see anything about them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soulsearching29 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yes survivor ,but in a weak moment, unblocking takes 20 secs to do. If their page was private, you cannot check info and updates and new stuff etc If their page is public and you block them, all it takes is to go to blocking click on their name and click unblock, then you have full access again. like i said, takes no effort, 20 secs max. in moments of lack of willpower, drunkeness, curiosity etc etc thats all you have to do Whereas if their page is private, your only option of seeing new stuff on their page is to 'add them as a friend' and wait to be accepted and all we all know, adding them as a friend after you have or he has unfriended you is a huge embarrassing step, something he will know about, he could ignore your request and so on. I really don't think blocking is as good, or the same at all as a private profile. Come to think of it, why is there even an option for a public profile? But I digress.. Link to post Share on other sites
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