Buttercup84 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My friend thinks this guy would be nice for me, I have met him and he is very nice. BUT... he seems too keen on a girlfriend. Now there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner, in fact I am sure he would be a sweet boyfriend. He was saying how he hates being single so much and really wants a girlfriend. I think that is a major turn off. Sometimes I wish I had a guy too, but I am content with being alone. I believe that in order to have a healthy relationship, you have to be happy being single too. I too miss the sex, cuddles, talks etc but I am not so unhappy. Anyone else find it off putting if someone just wants a partner because they can't be alone ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My friend thinks this guy would be nice for me, I have met him and he is very nice. BUT... he seems too keen on a girlfriend. Now there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner, in fact I am sure he would be a sweet boyfriend. He was saying how he hates being single so much and really wants a girlfriend. I think that is a major turn off. Sometimes I wish I had a guy too, but I am content with being alone. I believe that in order to have a healthy relationship, you have to be happy being single too. I too miss the sex, cuddles, talks etc but I am not so unhappy. Anyone else find it off putting if someone just wants a partner because they can't be alone ? There's a difference between not wanting to be alone or not being able to be alone. I like having a girlfriend very much, but I can be alone too. It's just that I prefer having a (good) girlfriend. I guess I prefer a good relationship over being single. Which means that I don't prefer any relationship over being single. So which is it for this guy? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 I agree, I would rather be in a good relationship than single, but I am happy alone too. This guy is just unhappy being alone. I was more atteacted to the guy who said he is happy at the moment, but would like to meet someone. I want someone to want to be with me because they think I am great, not because they just want a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I'm not the can't be alone type and don't need a woman to make me happy or complete me. However, given I'm in my early 30's and have minimally dated it does bother and depress me that I don't have a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 I don't find it unattractive. I have never decided to date or not date a women because of how they felt being single. Some people are simply a lot happier with a SO. Also, being single for long periods of time while wanting a relationship can be difficult to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 He was saying how he hates being single so much and really wants a girlfriend. I was one of these guys, but I don't remember actually saying to a girl that I hated being single -- that seems counterproductive. There are all kinds of reasons for not wanting to be single. Some are benign, some are not. Age and maturity play some factor. When I was young, it was the worst because life revolves around how good you are at bars and parties and my introverted, nerdy self was terrible in that environment. Now, with life being about much more, I would have probably taken a little more level-headed approach to singlehood. Anyone else find it off putting if someone just wants a partner because they can't be alone ? Not necessarily -- in high school or college, if I had met someone with that mindset, we could have been a good LTR match! Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 this is your intuition telling you to not go for it. Listen to it, it will save you a lot of wasted time and heartache. If you don't feel it right now, you'll talk yourself into liking this guy. See, the way I feel, is that there are important values that 2 people should be compatible on. Like how they feel about trust. How they feel about freedom. How they feel about marriage and children (potentially). Indoor versus outdoor activities. Reading versus watching tv. Music. And then, there's chemistry. It's not his outlook on relationship, it's his approach, his almost needy behavior to have a SO. Not sexy to you. Great, LEARN and most importantly, LISTEN TO YOURSELF. cheers Link to post Share on other sites
grkBoy Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Anyone else find it off putting if someone just wants a partner because they can't be alone ? Definitely neediness. I think the "turn off" many have on this is they see this needy person as someone who just wants someone, not particularly them. That this guy will be happy with ANY attractive girl in his arms, thus you feel more "replaceable" and not "special". Can't blame you. I used to be needy, but then I learned how to fulfill myself in life and be happy alone. I think it's something all men and women need to learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Robman9911 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 My last girlfriend wanted so badly to be a couple. She pushed to be official from the start. (warning sign). I was her first bf since her divorce. I think she wanted a relationship like alot of people coming out of LTR they are scared of the dating process. Plus I think it let her feel its ok to have sex, and it not being causal, which she initiated all the time. But each person is different, some may like straight into being a couple, some like the dating process. I dont mind dating but after a month or so im good. Some on here want to date for 6 months or longer. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 it's a bit tricky, because if you're recently off from a nasty break up, you may feel a bit vulnerable and a bit needy. But from a scale of 1 to 20, the worst possible thing is to jump into another relationship. Even dating is a bad idea. Deal with your own needs, learn to be happy with yourself. And after that, if you're really lucky, you'll meet someone for you. I totally believe in the law of resonance and in that of attraction. You attract what you are, not what you want or need . Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 thats a crock. single guy in his 30s or older is feeling the heat that if he doesn't find a lady he'll be alone forever, but should pretend that he could care less if hes single or not. damn what a crock. lesson, guys should take acting classes so can convincingly pretend not to care. No man. It's because your gravity point is outside yourself and not within yourself. That's why you need the external validation. Once you learn to be fine with yourself, even like yourself, you won't feel the need to look for anything. I am over 30 and if anything, I should be the one getting desperate - remember, women are the one fighting against the "shelf life" concept . Relax and enjoy the ride. IF you're a good man, that is very very precious and you should be selling yourself high. No good man or woman remain unmatched . I have faith. So should you. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 (edited) Am I desperate to get into a relationship? Yes. Am I happy enough to remain single? No. However, I do have boundaries. I'm not going to be with ANY female. Until I find a female that does meet what I ask for, I rather be single instead. So, yeah, I do want a relationship quite badly but I rather be single than be with a woman that I just can not love whatsoever. Edited April 4, 2013 by ltjg45 Link to post Share on other sites
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