Tell Us About the Time Your Dumper Came Crawling Back

[carteblanche]

...and you hopefully kicked him/her back to the curb.

 

I figure these stories will be therapeutic for a lot of us on here.

[all_cats_rgray]

Not all of them come back...

 

and why do you think they would crawl. they will just pop by to see how you are, maybe ego stoke themselves because they will assure themselves they did the right thing.

 

A friend once told me... Dumpee's normally become more successful in life rather then the Dumper. Dumpee's place self improvement front row and center.

 

So hey, look at being dumped as great fuel.

[Mack05]

Well you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Burn had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges... (later) ...and I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. The following morning I resigned my commission with the coastguard. The next thing I knew there was civil war in Spain... (later) ...and, that's everything which happened in my life right up to the time I got to this thread..

[SharkTooth]

None have crawled, but for me, they all came back. Not one of them brought back the incredible feelings I once had for them. I tried with a couple and the damage was done and I had moved on. They, on the other hand had tried to turn back time when their thoughts were happy loving times. That was ok because like All-Cats friend said, the dumpee accelerates the self improvement process we were all to lazy to start. It's like we have been given a opportunity to make positive changes we knew need adjusting. And our friends and family applaud us while giving their support. I found LS 4 months ago and was going through what we all experienced. Today, I haven't felt better physically in years and my mental health is just about peaked out. I do have lingering thoughts of the ex but that's just normal and it's ok. Would I kick her to the curb? No, I'm not built that way and would wish her the best.

[thefooloftheyear]

None have crawled, but for me, they all came back. Not one of them brought back the incredible feelings I once had for them. I tried with a couple and the damage was done and I had moved on. They, on the other hand had tried to turn back time when their thoughts were happy loving times. That was ok because like All-Cats friend said, the dumpee accelerates the self improvement process we were all to lazy to start. It's like we have been given a opportunity to make positive changes we knew need adjusting. And our friends and family applaud us while giving their support. I found LS 4 months ago and was going through what we all experienced. Today, I haven't felt better physically in years and my mental health is just about peaked out. I do have lingering thoughts of the ex but that's just normal and it's ok. Would I kick her to the curb? No, I'm not built that way and would wish her the best.

 

Kinda where I am at...

 

I normally work out, but turned it up a bunch and am in the best shape ever..Still have lingering thoughts as well. The last week or so its been strange. I wanted to reach out and say how much I enjoyed knowing her and how great the experience was, but not feeling that longing to be together again..We didnt have a bad break up though, it was just the circumstances that dictated it and her impatience..

 

For those who have had them come back, how long was it and what was the first meeting like??

 

TFOY

[Amelie1980]

I hope I get to post here soon....sighs

[Mack05]

I hope I get to post here soon....sighs

 

and this is exactly why I posted my non sensical reply above, cause it made about as much sense as this thread does. 300 odd people (probably more) on this forum with broken hearts, how on earth does this thread help people like Amelie? Who now just imagine even more their ex's coming back, when it will probably never happen..

 

sigh..

[richard9]

and this is exactly why I posted my non sensical reply above, cause it made about as much sense as this thread does. 300 odd people (probably more) on this forum with broken hearts, how on earth does this thread help people like Amelie? Who now just imagine even more their ex's coming back, when it will probably never happen..

 

sigh..

 

I disagree. Depending on your stage in nc / moving on I think this would be helpful for some. And I personally would love to hear of these and (my position in nc) have enough self control not to develop self hope or delude myself that this will happen in my situation. I personally would welcome any experiences when an ex has come back, not only to inform myself as to how they may do this, but to get some gratification that it does happen where dumpees say no. kind of a group congratulation to dumpees that do, as karma coming back around, and a story behind it. If the thread is not helpful to you no need to dismiss it as unhelpful to others imo. So please post any stories, I would love to hear of karma coming back around to dumpees.

[Thunderchild]

Well, it's never happened to me. Dumpers (in my experience anyway) just move on to new pastures, so it's best just to get on with your life.

 

My recent ex - I don't want her back anyway - is heavily in denial (default setting for "cheaters"). She was unwilling/unable to take responsibility for her actions at the BU, and, I'm not holding my breath waiting for there to be a "Road to Damascus" moment there.

[singme2sleep]

I don't have a personal story unfortunately, but I would like to share one I heard on the radio a few weeks ago...

 

Is anybody familiar with The Deliah Show, here in NJ its a lite-rock station but I think her show airs all over the country. Well anyway, a guy called in to play a song for his fiance. About a year earlier he had broken up with her after a LTR because he felt that his life was such a mess and it wasn't fair to his girl etc (kinda the same situation as my breakup, which is why it caught my attention). They went their seperate ways, kept NC while he got his life on track. Said he missed her and thought about calling when they were broken up but didn't want to make contact until he felt ready. Finally after being apart for awhile, things improved for him and he knew he still loved this woman very much. He had considered that in their time apart, she could have met someone else but he said he had to atleast try or he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

 

So he makes contact with her, they start talking and basically get to know each other again. Eventually they GOT BACK TOGETHER and are now engaged!

 

I'm not relaying this story to give anyone false hope, especially myself given the circumstances. It's just nice to know it happens, and the OP did want such examples. If anything I think this just proves that if two people are destined for each other, they find their way back. They don't let pride or other stuff get in the way of their true feelings.

 

But as the dumpee, all we can really do is give the dumpers space, go on with our lives and IF someday they reappear and want reconciliationn we look inside our hearts to decide what to do. I do also believe that sometimes the dumpee doesn't want the dumper back because it's too late. But when you really love the person, it's never too late.

[richard9]

A nice story :-) I personally dont believe 2 people are ment for each other, I think this thought deludes ourselves into thinking that our ex was the one and therr is noone else. Those 2 people were of the right mindset at the time to reconcile, most of us here acknowledge that our ex has moved on an are dealing with the pain. I for one love my ex still with all my heart but my mind says its done snd I no loger want anything to do withher.

[ThatJustHappened]

This is a dangerous thread. Bad idea..

[richard9]

This is a dangerous thread. Bad idea..

 

Crawling back would insinuate a regret on the dumpees part. To hear of those that have experienced this and how they dealt with it I think would be helpful. It does not purport to say it would initiate a reconciliation. Its to say you are coming back to me after everything you have put me through? **** off!! Its a strrngthening reaffirmation imo

[all_cats_rgray]

OMG I have this great story of a ex crawling back

 

 

....then they got married had three kids, a horrific divorce.

 

.....then he/she dumped me again.

 

.....then I did feel the same about him.

 

....then a magic unicorn told me I was a princess from a far away land.

 

Life is not a movie. When people leave they do it for a real reason, they have thought about it for a long time.

[sweetheart5381]

and this is exactly why I posted my non sensical reply above, cause it made about as much sense as this thread does. 300 odd people (probably more) on this forum with broken hearts, how on earth does this thread help people like Amelie? Who now just imagine even more their ex's coming back, when it will probably never happen..

 

sigh..

 

Well truth is, alot of them do come back... just for their ego/self, it has nothing to do with feelings for the dumpee. Hell, if they actually had these feeling, they would have never dumped them in the first place.

 

My ex came back, out of the blue and did an exquisite job of showing me exactly what he was made of . He actually was the reason I got over him so easily.

 

This ex figured out (several months after we broke up) that his friend and I were getting kinda chummy (just friends, no sex, just attraction and a lot of common interests). I suppose it became a pissing contest for the ex so when this friend left on vacation the ex came right back within 48 hrs of his friend's departure and told me how much he missed me (though he hurt me by ignoring me for months).

 

I gave him a chance - the ultimate test. He pretended to love and adore me once again, we had sex (it sucked) then he blew me off again. I blew up at him, told him what I thought of his behaviour and there has been no contact ever since.

 

I found out later (from this friend and other mutual friends) that he ended it with me because he was wanting a girl (in another circle of friends) that had absolutely no interest in him and that he had absolutely no chance with other women in said circle of friends because of his egotistical and arrogant behaviour toward me. A lot of folks have said to me, "Man, that guy is/was an idiot when he broke up with you."

 

Including his friend, who I have been seeing ever since.

[richard9]

OMG I have this great story of a ex crawling back

 

 

....then they got married had three kids, a horrific divorce.

 

.....then he/she dumped me again.

 

.....then I did feel the same about him.

 

....then a magic unicorn told me I was a princess from a far away land.

 

Life is not a movie. When people leave they do it for a real reason, they have thought about it for a long time.

 

Did the magic unicorn also teach you how to jump on a bandwagon lol

[all_cats_rgray]

You should really ask yourself "why do you want your ex, crawling back?"

 

If you say because you want to take them back. You should then ask yourself "Why do I want to take someone back that WILL break my heart again?"

[na49]

How many of you want your ex back and how many of you are just lonely?

 

really think about it though. You were in love with your ex like I was in love with mine. I know I don't know the answer to that question. My counselor asked me earlier today and I feel like everyone here should ask themselves the same question.

 

also this thread is silly.

[sweetheart5381]

You should really ask yourself "why do you want your ex, crawling back?"

 

If you say because you want to take them back. You should then ask yourself "Why do I want to take someone back that WILL break my heart again?"

 

Well said.

 

Sometimes door number 2 is a much better choice.

[richard9]

You should really ask yourself "why do you want your ex, crawling back?"

 

If you say because you want to take them back. You should then ask yourself "Why do I want to take someone back that WILL break my heart again?"

 

I agree. But you're missing the point of the OP's post. It's supposed to be a lesson to all those to keep no contact and learn indifference, so when the ex comes back they say haha not a chance. Its supposed to be empowering saying that no contact snd moving on can work. Its not a post of what if this happens and they come back, its a look I got over them and they did come back but I wasnt bothered and told them where to go, that is tje real POWER

Edited April 5, 2013 by richard9

[sweetheart5381]

I agree. But you're missing the point of the OP's post. It's supposed to be a lesson to all those who have kept no contact and learned indifference, so when the ex comes back they say haha not a chance. Its supposed to be empowering saying that no contact snd moving on can work. Its not a post of what if this happens and they come back, its a look I got over them and they did come back but I wasnt bothered and told them where to go, that is tje real POWER

 

I agree, that's the way I read it too. Sometimes it's the final F you, never again and the NC that solidifies moving on. That's what did it for me.

 

After that it's easy as hell

[Cogee]

I have to say, the thought of my latest ex coming back at this point is hilarious. I would actually LMAO if that happened just because of how ridiculous it would be. I can't even fathom the circumstance or what she would say.

[singme2sleep]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we all have been through different relationship experiences. But each person on this planet is unique so we cannot say that all dumpers that come back do it to stroke their ego or something to that effect. Anything is possible. Sometimes when a breakup has nothing to do with cheating, abuse, etc...the dumper just realizes that the dumpee was special and they shouldn't have let them go.

 

Yes, life is not a movie. But deep love exists, so does romance and magic. I believe in fate/meant to be and I refuse to turn into a cynical person who views the world as a cruel place where everyone is replaceable!

[richard9]

2 months ago I would never had said this, but everyone is replacable, how else can peopke move on? There is always someone who can offer the dame love as you.did this is also part of moving on

[carteblanche]

Exactly! This thread isn't about your ex coming back so you can be together - this is about getting to a place of such strength that you'd never take them back if they did come back.