Guest Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I replied to the mm I have been emailing for a few months, but have refused to meet, we haven't been emaling that much lately. He said he is going away for a while on business, prolly a month or so. I told him that I want him to know I care about him in case something happens to me or to him. I also told him he should prolly ignore it because I tend to say crazy things at night and will prolly not even like him if we ever do meet in person. you can care for someone and not like them very much though. Am I in deeper than I thought? It scares me that I told him this, but you just never know what could happen and there are so few people who I have cared for, I want him to know it regardless of what he feels. Did I make a mistake? I know that puts me in a vulnerable position, but my desire to express that feeling was stronger than anything else. I have lost people due to near instant tragedies and it just seems better now to let people know. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Are you trying to have an affair with this mm? Or just some tantalizing email? Not sure about your objective. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I agree this is kind of confusing because it sounds like you met someone online that is married and you two haven't even met yet....(you're having an "internet" affair). You told him you care and now you're scared you are moving too fast and will scare him away???? Or you thought you were playing some sort of "game" and now you're wondering if you're attached when you thought you weren't?? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 No it's not a game. We have been email friends for months and there is also a strong attraction. He was pursuing me pretty heavily at first and trying to get me to meet him for months I told him no because he is married, and he would have to get divorced for any romantic relationship because I won't sneak around, but we've kept contact. When I steered away from that trying to keep it as a friendship, he continued to email as a friend and has given me emotional support/advice/help. But I realize now my feelings are much stronger than I thought, because I would never tell someone this if they weren't. Since he was traveling again, I wanted him to know in case something happens. The only other people I will do this with are family and very close friends who I would miss from my life if anything happened to them. He will never divorce, he is very wealthy, he still loves his wife but things are missing from the marriange and I've told him to find a mistress because I can't do that, but said if he ever gets divorced I would like to try a relationship with him. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 To answer your quesiton soul mate, I'm not sure what I'm trying to do, I think be his friend and not his mistress. I told him to find someone, but I'm pretty sure he may already have, although he claims there's been no one else but his wife since he married at 25. I'm not sure how you can tell for sure if someone is lying or not, from my own experience single men are just as likely to lie about x as are married men. And this brings up a question: I have read so many times here about what many mms do to trick women into a relationship etc. lie about being married, no sex, bad marriage, can't leave because blah blah blah. He has never bad mouthed his wife, says that she is a wonderful mother and friend to him, so I can at least respect him for that if he is being honest, or maybe he just realizes that I personally would find it distasteful to listen to someone bad mouthing their wife. I would like to know what married women say to men who they want to have an affair with, or is it not necessary for women to lie to get men to become involved with them? I remember at one of my jobs as a student, my then boss, a very attractive woman in her early 30's had a continuous stream of young men coming to see her, holding hands with her etc. I wasn't aware she was even married, until coworkers told me she was. Her husband was completely unaware of what was going on. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Am I in deeper than I thought? IMO, yes. Here's some standard advice: "Leave the married men alone, find a single man who is willing and able to have a 1:1 relationship." So simple. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 I wish it were that simple, unfortunately it's not. Link to post Share on other sites
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