Author RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 If you want friends meet women. Also, I don't buy my friends are in a relationship excuse. Then your friends are kind of lame. Two of my best guy friends are in LTR and I still see them at least once a week. Their SO's like me and we enjoy each others company too. I have a lot of diverse interests. I see my friends pretty regularly. Not every week, but at least once a month. I'd say that at least 2 nights a week are spent with friends. Yes, I'm friends with the SOs of my male friends as well. I'm active in my community and do volunteer work as well. None of my friends are as active as me. Few men are as active as me, as a matter of fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 (edited) I'm a woman. OP, I am also confused about why you are looking for friends on OKC. I mean is that really what you're doing or are you hoping that one of these friends may lead to something more? Why not make friends in a more normal way like joining some organization or community or socializing with people you meet through your job? And why are you trying to make male friends? I feel like if you were really trying to make friends you would target women rather than men? I would like to find as many ways as possible of responsibly opening up my social circle. I hold leadership positions in community organizations where I live and volunteer in others. After the meetings/event, everyone goes home to their families. They don't go out for bike rides, hiking, runs, etc... Heck, two of my best female friends I'm meeting for breakfast tomorrow... before I go run a local 5/10K. I invited them, but nope. ... and the OkC profile is open to everyone. Anyway... what's to keep women there from feeling like I'm bisexual or lesbian hiding out as a straight person?? There is nothing on my profile to indicate that I'm looking for anything other than friendship or activity partners. AT ALL. Edited April 5, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 Ok, I read that answer, and the question remains, why would you want to be friends with a guy, especially given your answer. It's like you're deliberately seeking out additional opportunities to complain. Actually, it's not like that, it's what you're doing, what you enjoy most. Because I have male friends and mentors. They aren't ALL *sshholes, thank god. The ones I currently do have aren't as active as me, or are married and their wives aren't as active as me... I'm complaining because I'm tired of stupid people holding ME responsible for other people (men usually) acting like jerks... and feeling entitled to pushing their personal agenda in spite of what I post on my profile. These aren't men I contacted first. If these guys aren't interested in being just friends or something non-date related... then just don't contact me. Easy-peezy. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 Usually the selection criteria for guys is Girls who like Guys and if you don't have that set and just Friends and Activity Partners and they're still stupid enough to meet you and try to kiss you, then they get what they deserve. They might as well seek Girls who like Girls and try to convert them or something, they have more time than brains. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Usually the selection criteria for guys is Girls who like Guys and if you don't have that set and just Friends and Activity Partners and they're still stupid enough to meet you and try to kiss you, then they get what they deserve. They might as well seek Girls who like Girls and try to convert them or something, they have more time than brains. My thoughts exactly. FYI... I don't respond to people who don't have 'new friends' or 'activity partners' down as one of their options. Yea, that would be stupid on my part if I did. A number of guys looking for relationships (and don't have the friends box checked) contacted me and I ignored them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 You're approaching it by making potential "friends" qualify themselves and meeting a set of standards you're imposing upon them. It's not unrealistic for some to think that If you were truly just there to meet "friends" why would you list things that you consider off limits? Why do you care if your activity partner is a "recovering ______"? Do you see why guys may think that's a **** test? You say you're willing to meet "Everybody" but that's clearly not true. And I don't buy that you don't look at the guys pictures either. You even said yourself "I also don't post pics. The only thing I have posted right now is my shadow. Which gets me through the "no pics" filter, but also gives me some privacy." So you want your profile to have a higher visibility, ok fine. But how would you be willing to meet up with a man if you didn't know what he looked like? Obviously, they don't know what you look like. So you HAVE to know what they look like prior to meeting them (which shows that you do in fact look at their picture.) If you truly didn't look at their pic and were literally going in "blind" you can just hang back and look for the guy standing around. If he appears creepy or whatever, you can flake at the last minute because he has no idea what you look like. Honest question: Would you meet a man who had a similar shadow pic in his profile? None of my friends are recovering (fill in the blank) of any kind. I do have SOME standards for people I associate with... In fact, this one thing... requesting that recovering addicts of any kind not contact me... is the ONLY benefit of doing something like OkC. In Meetups, you never know what you are gonna get. How would I meet a man who I don't know what he looks like? Go to a public place at a certain time and describe what I look like... and what I'm wearing. Easy. If it makes you feel better, I volunteered to show the guy above a picture of me so he'd know how to find me when he got to the rock gym. Would I meet a man who had a similar shadow pic or no pic? Yes, and I have. All of the activities I've suggested are in public. Um. I don't flake, BTW. Never have. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 Are you messaging women on OKC to make friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedRobin Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 Are you messaging women on OKC to make friends? I haven't yet. I've only been on for a couple of weeks... TBH, I don't spend a lot of time there. Mostly just log in on weekends. But yea, I intend to. Interestingly, OkC does send me 'matches' that are both men and women. Those would be my first place to check... I'm assuming those people also have 'friends' or 'activity partners' checked. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 I haven't yet. I've only been on for a couple of weeks... TBH, I don't spend a lot of time there. Mostly just log in on weekends. But yea, I intend to. Interestingly, OkC does send me 'matches' that are both men and women. Those would be my first place to check... I'm assuming those people also have 'friends' or 'activity partners' checked. Hmm, I wonder if other women message women who are looking for friends or activity partners. Or if they all are waiting for someone to message them first I believe you are correct that OKC is showing you matches of both genders that have checked the same boxes that you have. Link to post Share on other sites
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