4evloveless Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 I recently caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with a new friend of his. They have been at it for a few weeks now. I had a feeling in my heart, but had no proof. I am definitely devastated as I seriously believed he would be the LAST person to do something like this. We have been in a long distance relationship for a year now....about an hour away. In the beginning he would only work 2-3 times a week, but ever since the fall has been trying to work as often as possible, to save money. So, we haven't been seeing each other as often and only had intercourse maybe 1-2 times a month. I would often complain about this and he would say patience is virtue ...because he was planning on transferring back to our town in May. So I always kept that in mind and knew we had an end goal and that helped put me at ease and stay focused. Last month though, he started mentioning how we need to do it more often and seemed like he was putting blame on me. I often made moves on him and would get turned away, because he's too tired...full...stressed...busy. So, what am I supposed to do!? He rarely ever tried to make a move or suggest it. We started discussing this more often, but he would never try and come to an agreement with me to coordinate days we were off. So, whatever. He has been sleeping every day with this other girl (except days I visit) While I twiddle my thumbs like a loser waiting for him to move back here. We ended up meeting after the scandal and he told me he wasn't thinking and that he wanted to stop and often though of stopping...whenever we were together, but as soon as I leave was no longer motivated. He also said he was not planning on ever telling me, especially since this girl is leaving with the Peace Corps soon so he figured he would've had a clean slate. What irks me is that he said he DOESN'T want me to forgive him or take him back. I wasn't planning on doing either but I don't know....I guess I thought he would at least try and fight to win back my trust and not give up so easily?? I mean we have been together for 5 years. It almost feels as if he never loved me. Oh and what's great about all this. My old school family said I should have driven there everyday to sex him and make sure to keep his ego elevated. But why should I have done all the work, when I would be turned down I also have a job! I really tried. I put a lot of time and energy into this relationship, I am annoyed my family even thinks this. I have initiated no contact, but he keeps texting me as if we are old friends and I just can't stand it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 I have initiated no contact, but he keeps texting me as if we are old friends and I just can't stand it. Change your number. Sorry - but he is rubbing your nose in it and you don't need to take it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4evloveless Posted April 6, 2013 Author Share Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) WOW So i just found out he has been having 4 somes 8 different times with his 2 buds against random girls. All last fall. and ever since jan been having 2 girls vs 2 guys foursomes. UNPROTECTED SPEECHLESS ----- with that being said. i don't care if he begs for forgiveness. he is dead to me. & i will be changing my number. Edited April 6, 2013 by 4evloveless Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 WOW So i just found out he has been having 4 somes 8 different times with his 2 buds against random girls. All last fall. and ever since jan been having 2 girls vs 2 guys foursomes. UNPROTECTED SPEECHLESS ----- with that being said. i don't care if he begs for forgiveness. he is dead to me. & i will be changing my number. Wow. What a d--k. No words can fully express what a vile and evil person your bf was for doing this, not only to yourself, but to others. He's playing Russian Roulette with his health, and karma will bite him in the ass. I would strongly advise you to go to your nearest clinic and request an STD and HIV test when it's possible. Your health needs to be protected and it's great that you got out of this horrible situation now. My best wishes to you. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 Get rid of this guy. PERIOD. He doesn't want you and you shouldn't want him. Block his number. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 The guy sounds like a douche. Run, you're dodging a bullet by doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 (edited) I recently caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with a new friend of his. They have been at it for a few weeks now. I had a feeling in my heart, but had no proof. I am definitely devastated as I seriously believed he would be the LAST person to do something like this. We have been in a long distance relationship for a year now....about an hour away. In the beginning he would only work 2-3 times a week, but ever since the fall has been trying to work as often as possible, to save money. So, we haven't been seeing each other as often and only had intercourse maybe 1-2 times a month. I would often complain about this and he would say patience is virtue ...because he was planning on transferring back to our town in May. So I always kept that in mind and knew we had an end goal and that helped put me at ease and stay focused. Last month though, he started mentioning how we need to do it more often and seemed like he was putting blame on me. I often made moves on him and would get turned away, because he's too tired...full...stressed...busy. So, what am I supposed to do!? He rarely ever tried to make a move or suggest it. We started discussing this more often, but he would never try and come to an agreement with me to coordinate days we were off. So, whatever. He has been sleeping every day with this other girl (except days I visit) While I twiddle my thumbs like a loser waiting for him to move back here. We ended up meeting after the scandal and he told me he wasn't thinking and that he wanted to stop and often though of stopping...whenever we were together, but as soon as I leave was no longer motivated. He also said he was not planning on ever telling me, especially since this girl is leaving with the Peace Corps soon so he figured he would've had a clean slate. What irks me is that he said he DOESN'T want me to forgive him or take him back. I wasn't planning on doing either but I don't know....I guess I thought he would at least try and fight to win back my trust and not give up so easily?? I mean we have been together for 5 years. It almost feels as if he never loved me. Oh and what's great about all this. My old school family said I should have driven there everyday to sex him and make sure to keep his ego elevated. But why should I have done all the work, when I would be turned down I also have a job! I really tried. I put a lot of time and energy into this relationship, I am annoyed my family even thinks this. I have initiated no contact, but he keeps texting me as if we are old friends and I just can't stand it. Obviously he is so thrilled to being busted with the crime and he finally can be free what a saaaaaaaaaaaaad thing I think he has issues or else he wouldn't behave like this Not the cheating part, but after being caught I mean! But hey, I don't agree with your family It's not your fault he is a cheater! You respected him and was honest and loyal to him, you loved him for 5 years, and finally he gave you the greatest prize a woman can get Treachery Edited April 6, 2013 by Noproblem Link to post Share on other sites
Holyoak Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Please know you have absolutely no blame in or for this situation, NONE. Guy sounds like a dirtbag, so toss him out like one. I'm sorry for your pain, keep up with the NC, heal yourself, and look forward to better days ahead! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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