Called family memmber on their Lies ?

[bluegreen]

Have you ever caught them lying and doing ugly rummors about you to other people around them known and unknown.

I did and called them right on it while they where still talking to a that person:

I said that they are lying if they needed pitty and poor you pats on back then they are welcome to use other means since they made it in to the art anyway.

 

Not dragging me and my name trough mud anymore and while they are at it isn't the person they are just talking to one they gosiped and called names just last week behind their back ?

 

Lets just say s... had hit the fan I was called any and every name on earth and usual emotional abuse followed but somehow I stood my ground and am not sorry I risked it.

 

But sure as hell could use a Hug now

Edited April 6, 2013 by bluegreen

[Radu]

Have you ever caught them lying and doing ugly rummors about you to other people around them known and unknown.

I did and called them right on it while they where still talking to a that person:

I said that they are lying if they needed pitty and poor you pats on back then they are welcome to use other means since they made it in to the art anyway.

 

Not dragging me and my name trough mud anymore and while they are at it isn't the person they are just talking to one they gosiped and called names just last week behind their back ?

 

Lets just say s... had hit the fan I was called any and every name on earth and usual emotional abuse followed but somehow I stood my ground and am not sorry I risked it.

 

But sure as hell could use a Hug now

 

Hug !

 

Yes, i live in a very passive-agressive country.

In fact, most of the older ppl are like this here.

 

After my dad died 2.5yrs ago, this older men in the extended family was upset that my mom and us did not go to him as he was 'man of the family' now.

So he started spreading rumours that my mom killed my dad in the village and city that my dad grew in.

We found out about this and though my mom decided to forgive but never forget it, i decided to take another rout and prepared a choice speach for him to remind him of his place.

I didn't get a chance to tell it to him, because he has been avoiding us, and when we tried to meet him for something else a while back well ... he got drunk, fell over his wife, fractured an arm badly and a bunch of ribs. This after she took a great deal of time to heal from another bone fracture and had to have a risky procedure.

From what i hear, her chances are not good, and i feel sorry for her.

 

Charges might be pressed against him anyway, and if she pulls through, he is looking at at least 5yrs, though he might get a form of release where he has to report to the police often.

If she doesn't pull through, he will go to jail most likely.

At 70+ yrs old.

 

Getting back to your situation, confronting is not always the best recourse because then you put them with their back against the wall.

If they do it in front of you, sure.

But if they trash you behind your back, don't bother confronting them because they will make themselves into a victim and if this happens at the job, you might end up losing your job over it.

Many ppl who do this are quite good with the passive-agressive behaviour and have good manipulation skills.

[bluegreen]

Hahhaahahhaha lol.

 

Even thou its not funny.

 

But i dont know that kind of fight.

Cause my whole generation i guess have been race that you dont put your dirty laundry out there.

If there is any kind of " gossip" if you can call it that, its between family member.

 

I dont hear much about family members talking bad and being like a enemy about their own blood to others.

They can say something about the fight they have with each other but not like

to ruin their own blood.

 

So something went wrong in yours i guess.

Where loyalty did not get much attention for generations long.

 

But im happy you told them what you thought.

But hopefully the peace will come right after that between all you guys.

 

 

Oh believe me it was funny she c.... her pants you see she has this sick need to be "loved" and adored by everyone true narcisist and knowing that someone might not and that it might harm her is like death sentence.

Yeah you dont because to many keep taking it and taking it and taking it

Some of us decided that blood does not always mean family unfortunatly.

 

Radu she is just like that besides being ahem both being from ahem : ) kind of close places does not suprise me that you get this so well.

Yeah it could prove bad idea to confront and yes they react like animals but I could not take it anymore people want to burn me and hang me backward because of her lies.

As for playing a victim she should get an Oscar for it but inside she is snake bully and ruthless she will use anthing and anyone to get what she wants BUT NOT ME ANYMORE her mask fell and i'll never forget what I saw under it !!!!

Its not about other people opinions but INJUSTICE and having a enough already of this witch hunt you know what I mean?

[Radu]

Oh believe me it was funny she c.... her pants you see she has this sick need to be "loved" and adored by everyone true narcisist and knowing that someone might not and that it might harm her is like death sentence.

Yeah you dont because to many keep taking it and taking it and taking it

Some of us decided that blood does not always mean family unfortunatly.

 

Radu she is just like that besides being ahem both being from ahem : ) kind of close places does not suprise me that you get this so well.

Yeah it could prove bad idea to confront and yes they react like animals but I could not take it anymore people want to burn me and hang me backward because of her lies.

As for playing a victim she should get an Oscar for it but inside she is snake bully and ruthless she will use anthing and anyone to get what she wants BUT NOT ME ANYMORE her mask fell and i'll never forget what I saw under it !!!!

Its not about other people opinions but INJUSTICE and having a enough already of this witch hunt you know what I mean?

 

 

It's a family member so i doubt it will affect you that much, but if it's a job problem, you should really no confront.

Imagine that your mass represents your personality, your vision of reality.

They are a black hole while you are a sun.

They need to be constantly fed and those that have weak realities [read personalities, those easily convinced] will always fall in line behind them.

 

Unfortunately we give ppl a vote and a say regardless of how weak they truly are on a mental level.

 

Democracy, the playground of the narcissist.

 

PS: I might add that to my sig.

[bluegreen]

Bless You Radu you got in my eyes.

I could not have gotten better compliment than that ...

[Calvin's wagon]

Bluegreen, I'm really proud of you and if I were there I'd give you a hug:bunny:

 

 

It's great that you stood up for honesty and for yourself! Like a lot of books say, in dysfunctional families with a lot of problems, all the people with "issues" will "attack" anyone "normal", anyone who is trying to resolves his issues, to expose lies, to expose abuse etc.

 

Why? Because of their defense mechanisms, because they're scared of "peace" being disturbed etc., because they're afraid they'll have to face their issues and consequences of their mistakes&abuse!

 

So sadly I'm not surprised at their reaction... But I am so glad for you!

 

How are you feeling now, after a few days have passed?

 

Best wishes!

[amaysngrace]

I called out my sister just as she was trashing me to my cousin.

 

She'd been harboring bad feelings towards me for over a year and told anyone who would listen but me.

 

I asked her in front of my cousin if she had something to say cause here I am. She said nothing. I told her to grow a pair.

 

The next day she called to apologize but the year of her trashing me did its damage. It could have been resolved sooner if she had just let me know she was upset with me.

 

Meh whatever.

 

Her actions reveal more about her than they reveal about me. I just wanted it to stop. And I even had a witness.

 

It didn't make me feel good or bad really. She's my sister and I feel bad that she is the way she is even if she is annoying sometimes.

[bluegreen]

Thank You guys YOU all are the best.

Hugs returned : ))) x 3

Well I feel better more peacful on the inside if you know what I mean.

I could just not take it anymore I don't depend on anyone's smile or back path but am not gonna have those that are not fit to lick my boots trash me either.

Lets she if she hides it better next time as am sure that she will but let that be on her head ...