Should I take revenge on this married man?

[Andrea5]

He said he will answer me tomorow in email.

Should I tell him now: "You make me sick.Do not answer nothing,I don't want to hear one word from you anymore." ?

 

because I know he will again said and humiliate me in email: "goodbye,don't answer me anymore etc"

[Andrea5]

No,I will not send him another message after 20 minutes, I realized now he really never want contact again with me.

You said many MM walked away and chose their wife.

I was talking about the cases where OW told the wife and familly etc, and some of MM still continue to talk to OW ,at least as friends...

 

He will sent me tomorow email and probalby again say at the end of letter "leave me alone now,goodbye etc".. so he will again have his last word and humiliate me, so maybe it's better if I write to him right now how I don't want not a single word from him anymore. Or should I just leave it, weit for his response and ignore ?

What to do?

[Andrea5]

Seriously what did you expect him to say??? You are blackmailing him now with the threat you are going to tell his wife again.

 

Just stop.......suck it up, lesson learned and move on.

 

yes,you are right he will be forced then to write me email tomorow,so should I say him right now "ok,I will not admit,you make me sick.I dont want to hear one word more from you never again."

 

If I ignore now,he will sent me tomorow email.

[Andrea5]

How old are you if you don't mind my asking?

 

27, he is 43

[wisernow]

No,I will not send him another message after 20 minutes, I realized now he really never want contact again with me.

You said many MM walked away and chose their wife.

I was talking about the cases where OW told the wife and familly etc, and some of MM still continue to talk to OW ,at least as friends...

 

He will sent me tomorow email and probalby again say at the end of letter "leave me alone now,goodbye etc".. so he will again have his last word and humiliate me, so maybe it's better if I write to him right now how I don't want not a single word from him anymore. Or should I just leave it, weit for his response and ignore ?

What to do?

 

Just stop!

 

Don't email him

Don't text him

Don't call him

 

It's over.

 

He used you for sex.

You used him for money.

 

He's staying in his marriage.

 

You need to accept that and move on with your life.

 

He is not your savior, and he will not be funding your lifestyle.

 

Over.

[Andrea5]

That's it people. I listened to LadyGrey, she is right,because if I didn't sent him my last message, he would feel forced to sent me email tomorow without his will,because I threathen to admit his wife about us. That mean he would sent only to keep me calm, and not because he want.

 

Although I couldn't writte the same as Lady Grey say because I'm the one who sent him many messages so I could not say to him: "Do not contact me in any way, as I will not be conversing with you for any reason. " since I'm the one who were contacting him,not vice versa, how pity,I humiliate myself too much.I hope I wrote my last message to him well, this is my last message :

 

"I will not admit to her.Do not contact me trough email,I'm not interested anymore what you have to say.Goodbye."

 

The worst thing,I think how he is with his familly and he removed my message quickly or didn't even read well ...yeah,I know I sound sick, I know..

Edited April 7, 2013 by Andrea5

[So happy together]

But I read here how MM did not cut contact with some of OW ,even after they told the wife ? That mean they really had feelings for OW. Thats why I'm hurt, if he had ever feelings for me he would never cut contact.But he fooled me.

 

I told daughters just to make him hurt. I did it in moment of great anger.It was stupid ,I know. I even cried because I realized I can hurt them too. Now I'm angry again,and want really to admit. See, all bad I'm doing is because I can't control my anger toward him. I can't stop to think about the whole thing.

 

 

Here is the thing, right above. Your emotions are all over the place. You told the daughters in a fit of anger and then immediately felt bad, said it was stupid. Then you told the wife. Then you told her it was a lie. Then you emailed him. He told you to leave him alone, and still, you're going strong. You are obviously not in the state of mind to make any decisions right now. I know how that feels. But my mother always said "When in doubt, do nothing". That's my advice.

[Andrea5]

Yes, you are right So happy together,

I sent him my last message and that's it. I hope he will not sent me email tomorow,because he will say again at the end "leave me now alone,goodbye etc" because it will hurt me again.

 

When I wanted to stop contact with him few times,I remembered how he was upset ,sending me messages: "please,let me make you happy'." I want to know you better"..I'm shocked,I can't make anything now","please my love answer me","why you are silent?","give me a chance "etc..

 

and now he is the one who don't want any contact. Pfff..how desperate feeling

Edited April 7, 2013 by Andrea5

[neveragain34]

From the looks of your avatar, you are very beautiful and young....you will find someone else in no time who will treat you right. You don't need this man or further contact from him; you can do so much better. It will get better; trust me!

[amaysngrace]

If he is worth a lot then they are going to stay married.

 

He won't be with you again or anyone else for a while because she probably has a private investigator following him now.

 

That's probably why she wanted pictures of the two of you together.

 

He won't divorce her. It's cheaper to keep her.

[Andrea5]

From the looks of your avatar, you are very beautiful and young....you will find someone else in no time who will treat you right. You don't need this man or further contact from him; you can do so much better. It will get better; trust me!

 

Thank you.

 

Yes,I understand now, I will not contact him anymore,I feel now better. But I don't think I will ever again after this experience be with any man in the future. I don't have wish to meet or to be with anyone anymore. I realized I'm not the type of girl for relationships, I'm simply to emotional in all that.

 

I can be angry,vindictive,overacting,clingy,needy,jelaous etc... Better if I'm alone.

no man - no problem

[WhoreyBull]

That is the reason I told them about us,because I realized he lied me.

You already tried to get revenge on him for lying to you and that didn't work out too well.

If you want to improve your chances of having a relationship free of deceit do not start your next one on a foundation of lies. It is easy to be wowed by big money and promises, but keep in mind that he knows he wields that power over any girl like you he comes across. If he has shown he enjoys lying to two women why not more than that? You are young and beautiful and can find someone to love and respect you.... but you need to act like someone who deserves respect. Telling the daughters? Why would you get other people involved in a hurtful situation like that?

You need to start treating yourself with respect. You are a pretty girl, and you've been taking good advice here so you are obviously intelligent. Pretty smart girls DON'T need to feel desperate. Why do you think you have been ok with playing second banana for some old man? I don't believe this is about all the money, because then you would understand the relationship for what it was from the start. You can find someone unmarried and rich I am sure but that will fail if you don't know why you got yourself into this mess. Do you feel like if he left his wife for you he'd be "choosing" you, that you'd be "better" than his wife?

[Andrea5]

If he is worth a lot then they are going to stay married.

 

He won't be with you again or anyone else for a while because she probably has a private investigator following him now.

 

That's probably why she wanted pictures of the two of you together.

 

He won't divorce her. It's cheaper to keep her.

 

I think by his reaction he will never again repeat cheating, he was so scared and in panic,(although I was suspicious because he wanted to use sex toys with me,and I freaked.) he told me he cried everyday for what he did,he said he regret he discussed with me, he repeat constantly "I don't want to lost my kids" etc. I was broken so I couldn't admit. I even take medication to calm down.

 

I think he love his wife, I saw her photo, she is so beautiful, I still can't believe why he cheated on her. I think he realized now how she is worthy and important in his life.

 

I don't think she will take private investigator,although she can,because they are very,very rich. She told me in her first message after I lied to her how I did not have nothing with him: "Sorry,I can't believe you.I will turn to policedepartment,they will investigate this story.I'm so sorry you got to this mess." but she didn't ,it was before 1 month, and he said now is everything ok, it only need to take some time to calm down the situation.

Edited April 8, 2013 by Andrea5

[amaysngrace]

He's crying because he got caught. He cares about himself a lot more than he cares about his children or his wife. Trust me on that.

 

And he just took advantage of you. Completely.

 

Would you feel better if you told his wife the truth?

[Andrea5]

You already tried to get revenge on him for lying to you and that didn't work out too well.

If you want to improve your chances of having a relationship free of deceit do not start your next one on a foundation of lies. It is easy to be wowed by big money and promises, but keep in mind that he knows he wields that power over any girl like you he comes across. If he has shown he enjoys lying to two women why not more than that? You are young and beautiful and can find someone to love and respect you.... but you need to act like someone who deserves respect. Telling the daughters? Why would you get other people involved in a hurtful situation like that?

You need to start treating yourself with respect. You are a pretty girl, and you've been taking good advice here so you are obviously intelligent. Pretty smart girls DON'T need to feel desperate. Why do you think you have been ok with playing second banana for some old man? I don't believe this is about all the money, because then you would understand the relationship for what it was from the start. You can find someone unmarried and rich I am sure but that will fail if you don't know why you got yourself into this mess. Do you feel like if he left his wife for you he'd be "choosing" you, that you'd be "better" than his wife?

 

I'm not so inteligent when I chose him,I do feel disgusted by my behavior.See,I told daughters, and it's disgusting I know,I can't now return in the past,I just hope they will forget me soon.

 

I was with him,because he speaks so nice to me everyday and promissed me many,many things "I will make your life better","I want to make you happy"."I will do anything for you my love","I will buy house for you and me in your contry","We will travel all over the world" etc... and he was charming. But in real life he never showed me his love, he was cold and sex always was without foreplay, I felt lonely in his presence.I noticed he was thinking only about himself,and he watched other girls on the streets. I thought he will change but he didn't. I forced myself to think "he is good,he is honest with you" but deep inside me I knew I'm one big nothing for him.

[Andrea5]

He's crying because he got caught. He cares about himself a lot more than he cares about his children or his wife. Trust me on that.

 

And he just took advantage of you. Completely.

 

Would you feel better if you told his wife the truth?

 

I wanted to tell his wife today, but I didn't because I was talking with people here on this thread ,and they calm me down with answers

Only when I'm angry I want to do stupid,evil things. There are days when I don't think about him,and there are days when I'm very angry at him.

 

I know I would not feel better, after I sent messages to his daughters and after they contacted their mother, I took medication to calm down for the first time in my life,I wanted to kill myself because they all were hurt, so I lied how I was some desperate girl who only wanted his money and how I was never with him.

Edited April 8, 2013 by Andrea5

[amaysngrace]

I wanted to tell his wife today, but I didn't because I was talking with people here on this thread ,and they calm me down with answers

Only when I'm angry I want to do stupid,evil things.

 

I know I would not feel better, after I sent messages to his daughters and after they contacted their mother, I took medication to calm down for the first time in my life,I wanted to kill myself because they all were hurt, so I lied how I was some crazy girl who only wanted his money.

 

I don't know why you feel bad...he is the one who was suppose to be loyal to them. He is the one who hurt them. He's the one who was suppose to love them and take care of them all.

 

You didn't hurt them anywhere close to as much as he did.

 

You should give yourself a break. I think you were treated badly by him too.

 

He promised you things and you believed him.

[KathyM]

Getting the truth out is not stupid or evil. It's giving her the gift of reality, of honesty, and giving her the opportunity to make decisions about her life based on the truth. Aiding in the deception is what is harmful to her. Leading her to believe a lie and then not correcting it is what is harmful to her. Don't involve the daughters, however. But do get the truth out to the wife. And then wash your hands of this mess, and hopefully make better choices for yourself in the future. It sounds like you learned a very difficult lesson in life from this. Don't trust a MM who will lie to his wife and to you in order to get what he wants. A man who lies to his wife, deceives her and cheats on her is not worthy of your time. You need to value yourself more than this.

[Andrea5]

I don't know why you feel bad...he is the one who was suppose to be loyal to them. He is the one who hurt them. He's the one who was suppose to love them and take care of them all.

 

You didn't hurt them anywhere close to as much as he did.

 

You should give yourself a break. I think you were treated badly by him too.

 

He promised you things and you believed him.

 

Thank you alot for your words

 

I promised myself afer this experience that I will never again believe to any man in the future.

[amaysngrace]

Thank you alot for your words

 

I promised myself afer this experience that I will never again believe to any man in the future.

 

I know it's hard for you right now but don't think that all men are like this man. There are lots of good men out there.

 

There are men who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But as a rule married men lie. All of them. So anything a married man tells you is probably a lie no matter how good that it sounds.

 

But don't lose faith in men. Just believe more in yourself. Don't let people treat you badly because you aren't from this country either. You are much more worldly than many of the people that you meet.

[Andrea5]

Getting the truth out is not stupid or evil. It's giving her the gift of reality, of honesty, and giving her the opportunity to make decisions about her life based on the truth.

 

I wanted to tell but he threathen with suicide,(so I was shocked and feared for his life) and she will be maybe forever hurt and broken if I admit to her. Her last message was "I wish you all the best in life" and it would be evil if I sent her again message ,it will hurt her too much. I'm not with him anyway,it seems he wanted only sex of me, so maybe it's better we all forget this. He also told me he trying to rebuild his life again. So,maybe now they will be more happy.

 

I wanted today to tell her because he didn't want to answer on some of my questions,so I told him I will tell her,and then he said: "I will answer tomorow in email" which mean he is still scared, and I can't do that. All what he want now is peace and to remove me completly from his life. The problem is me,because I couldn't accept being dumped and lied. But now I feel much better. I want revenge only in moments when I'm angry, but now it's ok. I will move on and forget him.

Edited April 8, 2013 by Andrea5

[Lillyfree]

I wanted to tell but he threathen with suicide,(so I was shocked and feared for his life) and she will be maybe forever hurt and broken if I admit to her. Her last message was "I wish you all the best in life" and it would be evil if I sent her again message ,it will hurt her too much. I'm not with him anyway,it seems he wanted only sex of me, so maybe it's better we all forget this. He also told me he trying to rebuild his life again. So,maybe now they will be more happy.

 

I wanted today to tell her because he didn't want to answer on some of my questions,so I told him I will tell her,and then he said: "I will answer tomorow in email" which mean he is still scared, and I can't do that. All what he want now is peace and to remove me completly from his life. The problem is me,because I couldn't accept being dumped and lied. But now I feel much better. I want revenge only in moments when I'm angry, but now it's ok. I will move and forget him.

 

he is a pathetic, weak excuse for a man. threatening suicide to get his mistress to keep quiet? i would have laughed at him.

 

his poor wife seems to know what he's capable of, as someone else said you're not the first he's done this with and sorry to say - probably not the last either.

 

i understand that you're hurt and angry at the moment, and from your posts you seem to be blaming yourself primarily, and making excuses for him.

maybe detaching from everything for a bit, giving yourself maybe a month to cool off may be a good idea. then, re-visit telling his wife.

[Andrea5]

he is a pathetic, weak excuse for a man. threatening suicide to get his mistress to keep quiet? i would have laughed at him.

 

his poor wife seems to know what he's capable of, as someone else said you're not the first he's done this with and sorry to say - probably not the last either.

 

i understand that you're hurt and angry at the moment, and from your posts you seem to be blaming yourself primarily, and making excuses for him.

maybe detaching from everything for a bit, giving yourself maybe a month to cool off may be a good idea. then, re-visit telling his wife.

 

Ok,I will think about it.

Maybe he lie about suicide,but I still can't risk on that.Imagine he kill himself because I told his wife ? I would kill myself too if that happens.

 

I noticed he is mentally weak man,he told me once how he can't stand his wife,because she is too much temperament, he said he run to bathroom just not to listen her and she yell at him and knock at door, but he stayed for 30 minutes and he simply don't want to face her and any debate between them.

 

It seems he is the man who don't like to face problem, he trying to avoid them, that's why he also don't want to answer on my questions too.

 

Do you really think he had affairs before me too ?He told me I'm the second girl in his life he experienced (after his wife), and he wouldn't be so scared and shocked about telling the wife,if he done it before.

He said "I regret speaking with foreinger girl (me)" which means he never was with anyone before me. I don't know. He also given me to many informations,and even took photo with me, which mean he is also naive,and maybe it was first time he cheated.

Edited April 8, 2013 by Andrea5

[2sunny]

No,I will not send him another message after 20 minutes, I realized now he really never want contact again with me.

You said many MM walked away and chose their wife.

I was talking about the cases where OW told the wife and familly etc, and some of MM still continue to talk to OW ,at least as friends...

 

He will sent me tomorow email and probalby again say at the end of letter "leave me alone now,goodbye etc".. so he will again have his last word and humiliate me, so maybe it's better if I write to him right now how I don't want not a single word from him anymore. Or should I just leave it, weit for his response and ignore ?

What to do?

 

Change your email and phone number = done deal!

[Lillyfree]

Ok,I will think about it.

Maybe he lie about suicide,but I still can't risk on that.Imagine he kill himself because I told his wife ? I would kill myself too if that happens.

 

i doubt very much that he would do anything to hurt himself, in any way.

however, we'll never know exactly what's in another person's head. and i understand that you'd rather not have any involvement in someone harming themselves (even if the likelihood of him committing suicide probably sits at 0.000001%).

 

I noticed he is mentally weak man,he told me once how he can't stand his wife,because she is too much temperament, he said he run to bathroom just not to listen her and she yell at him and knock at door, but he stayed for 30 minutes and he simply don't want to face her and any debate between them.

 

It seems he is the man who don't like to face problem, he trying to avoid them, that's why he also don't want to answer on my questions too.

 

you've spoken to his wife and said that she seemed nice and kind.

now she's some dragon lady who chases her husband into the toilet? try and process that for yourself. i don't think you have a clue who he actually is and what he's capable of.

 

Do you really think he had affairs before me too ?He told me I'm the second girl in his life he experienced (after his wife), and he wouldn't be so scared and shocked about telling the wife,if he done it before.

He said "I regret speaking with foreinger girl (me)" which means he never was with anyone before me. I don't know. He also given me to many informations,and even took photo with me, which mean he is also naive,and maybe it was first time he cheated.

 

i do think he's lying to you... there are many alarm bells ringing when reading your posts. i would venture a guess that he's a very seasoned liar, and that you are very naive.

 

again, step out of this situation, and after a couple of weeks you might begin to see things more clearly. you might be able to answer some of those questions yourself.

 

also, i don't understand what he means by 'foreigner girl' - is it that you are of different nationality or does he mean 'foreign' as in to the marriage? not sure what huge difference that would make.