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How much does race/culture matter to you in dating?

CryForNoOne

By CryForNoOne,
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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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I'd love to hear from both men and women. Being a man I might have a slightly skewed view but it seems in general it is more important to women than men. At least, that's what I see from OLD profiles. Not that I'm scouring men's profiles but I don't think I've ever seen a guy specify race if he's looking for a LTR. I'm sure it exists but it seems the rare exception not the norm. Notable exception being the guy who resorts to foreign women (particular asian or eastern european) because they resent American women. That's not true preference, that's desperation...

 

Looking at women's profiles (who are seeking a LTR), I see all the time "message me if you are..." "A tall white dude", "Latin lover" etc... One girl I met from OKC messaged me because she thought I was "her type" based on my pics. When we met she told me she ONLY dates Asian guys. She is a natural blond so I thought it was odd but whatever. After three dates she tells me she doesn't want to date anymore but we can be friends. Why? I'm a white boy and she doesn't date white boys...

 

Last night I had a date with a girl who had that "message me if you are a white guy" line in her profile. I actually referenced the situation above in my opening message to her stating "I'm half white but my blond friend says she's more Asian than I am..." It worked I guess. Then last night I asked her about it and she said not only was it funny but it caused her to reflect on what she wrote and she decided to be more open minded. I'm glad she did because it was a great first date.

 

So why all these shallow shopping lists with women regarding race, height, skin color? To be fair, men can be very shallow too, but it seems our list is one line. Hot or not. Women can have these crazy long lists that seem irrationally detailed sometimes...

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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pffff. Men care about race too, a lot actually. Haven't you seen all the "I want a white girl" threads on here? And I've had sooo many guys tell me they are not attracted to certain races.

 

As for myself, as long as I find them sexually attractive I don't care. I rarely find east Asian men attractive though.

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PhoenixRysing

PhoenixRysing

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Race does not matter at all to me...but then I am of mixed race myself (half black and half white) with a fairly interesting submix (my father is Jamaican and my mother is Scots Irish and German). So in the end, I am always dating outside of my race - whether I like it or not! I did date a guy for a long while who had exactly the same mix and submix once...it didn't work out but that was interesting.:laugh:

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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I personally feel and have observed that race matters more to women than it does to men. To caveat that though, I think it serves more as a dealbreaker than requirement for them.

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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Race does not matter at all to me...but then I am of mixed race myself (half black and half white) with a fairly interesting submix (my father is Jamaican and my mother is Scots Irish and German). So in the end, I am always dating outside of my race - whether I like it or not! I did date a guy for a long while who had exactly the same mix and submix once...it didn't work out but that was interesting.:laugh:

 

If you have a brother send him my way. Thank you very much.:p

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MrCastle

MrCastle

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OLD this is a huge deal. It will always be a huge deal.

 

Put your stats up like you're a trading card, expect to get treated like a trading card.

 

In my opinion, men are more visual and their attraction is more physically based, so if they find you hot, they'll date you. I'll date any race as long as I found her attractive.

 

Women to me tend to think longer term, and think about deeper issues. "Are our cultures too different," "what will our kids look like if we have them," "what will my family/friends say," etc.

 

I don't think of it as a lot of women are racist or something, I just think they overthink the race thing more than a man typically would.

 

As I've always said, it's more about perception of race than actual race.

 

Yes, some people may be attracted to physical attributes only found in specific ethnicities, but the main problem, to me, is people assume things of other races and for that reason, won't give them a chance.

 

A woman won't turn me down because I have tan skin, and big brown eyes, but because I'm "hispanic" and hispanics are ghetto, or they can't articulate very well because english is their second language, or we're too wrapped in our own cultural beliefs and norms to relate to someone who isn't hispanic, or any other ignorant ideas they may have. Not knowing I hate spanish food, can't speak spanish, and grew up in a middle class community that was mostly white.

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PhoenixRysing

PhoenixRysing

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I personally feel and have observed that race matters more to women than it does to men. To caveat that though, I think it serves more as a dealbreaker than requirement for them.

 

I wonder how much is gender and how much is your specific race and local. For instance, I have often speculated that some of my difficulty with dating (especially longer term) if my heritage causes issues for me with dating. As I tend to date mostly white men and I live in the South, there can be some interesting family dynamics there...especially at the first introduction.

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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I tend to date mostly white men...

 

I find it interesting that a lot of women who say race doesn't matter predominantly date white men.... :confused:

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Giraffe1

Giraffe1

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Race does matter to me. I am most sexually attracted to mixed (black/white) tall men, I'm drooling just thinking about it.

 

To pinpoint who I am not attracted to at all, is Asian men, they don't do anything for me. Also where I live there is a large percentage of Mexican-Americans and I have never found them attractive.

 

Attraction is something you can't control, it's that animalistic desire that comes to life when I see a mixed man.

 

I could never be with a man I am not attracted to. One of the biggest things that separate a friendship and a relationship is SEX. So if I am not attracted to you how can I have sex with you?

 

You can't be mad at people who aren't attracted to you.

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PhoenixRysing

PhoenixRysing

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I find it interesting that a lot of women who say race doesn't matter predominantly date white men.... :confused:

 

It is a tendency from my past not a preference. I have dated black, Asian, Hispanic, and white men from all backgrounds. Just based on my surroundings most men are white so therefore I have dated more white men. Nothing insidious there. :D

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ThaWholigan

ThaWholigan

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Mixed raced guys getting all the love so far :laugh:.

 

I'm tall and black - I have my admirers.......

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PhoenixRysing

PhoenixRysing

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Mixed raced guys getting all the love so far :laugh:.

 

I'm tall and black - I have my admirers.......

 

You're attitude and perspective on life garners you tons of admiration. Your lovely skin tone and height are just bonuses.:love:

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Keenly

Keenly

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I find myself only attracted to white women. Maybe an Asian but she would have yo be really, really cute. There is also a girl at the Mexican food place I like who recently rejected me when I tried to get her phone number, but she is still very pretty.

 

But yeah... I mostly like white girls.

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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Race does matter to me.

 

You can't be mad at people who aren't attracted to you.

 

It's a shame more women can't be openly honest like this. Good on you.

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Giraffe1

Giraffe1

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Tall, black men are very nice as well! ;)

Normally they have lots of rhythm something white men have not a clue about. :laugh:

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Keenly

Keenly

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Tall, black men are very nice as well! ;)

Normally they have lots of rhythm something white men have not a clue about. :laugh:

 

Well let's not paint with too broad of a brush here.

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fortyninethousand322

fortyninethousand322

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I prefer brunettes over blondes. That's really my only "requirement" when it comes to looks beyond being in shape. I went back and looked at who I messaged on OKC over the last 3 years to see if there was a pattern since I'm big on revealed preference. I've messaged way more non-white women than white women. So...I guess I prefer non-white women? :confused:

 

I did say in the other thread I liked curly hair...:laugh:

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Giraffe1

Giraffe1

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I just couldn't help myself. When a man has rhythm and can move his body accordingly it is the most attractive thing. I usually find good rhythm with black men but I'm sure other races might have a few men with nice rhythm.

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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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I just couldn't help myself. When a man has rhythm and can move his body accordingly it is the most attractive thing. I usually find good rhythm with black men but I'm sure other races might have a few men with nice rhythm.

 

I've got great rhythm as I play rhythm guitar in my band. But I was pretty sure you were talking about the other kind of rhythm and you just confirmed it...

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somedude81

somedude81

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I'm a white guy and have tried to date girls of other races. They always ended up getting boyfriends that were the same race as them...

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ThaWholigan

ThaWholigan

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I've got great rhythm as I play rhythm guitar in my band. But I was pretty sure you were talking about the other kind of rhythm and you just confirmed it...

Yeah, when you can actually give it to a girl to the beat of the slowjam in the background, then you got rhythm :D.

 

It's funny, I can't really say I have much rhythm for a black guy - even as a musician :laugh:. Still, hopefully I will change that :D.

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Giraffe1

Giraffe1

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I've got great rhythm as I play rhythm guitar in my band. But I was pretty sure you were talking about the other kind of rhythm and you just confirmed it...

 

BOTH are attractive qualities! A man who can play any musical instrument receives a bunch of bonus points from women. And a man who has rhythm in the bedroom, BONUS POINTS GALORE! Usually the two are intertwined a man who can play normally has rhythm in other aspects of his life.

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Giraffe1

Giraffe1

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"Yeah, when you can actually give it to a girl to the beat of the slowjam in the background, then you got rhythm :D. "

 

YES, this is PRECISELY what I am talking about. This is magic potion. ;)

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KungFuJoe

KungFuJoe

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I'm half asian/white and MUCH prefer Latinas....and lucky for me, they seem to really like me as well.

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