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How much does race/culture matter to you in dating?

CryForNoOne

By CryForNoOne,
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ses

ses

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Race doesn't matter to me. I'm mixed (half white and half Asian). I've been attracted to all types of people:

 

- The black barista at my campus who always knew my order. I think I tried going there almost every chance I got. The chance to speak with him at the register always gave me butterflies. He was so cute and sweet! I never had the courage to admit my feelings however. But it was great while it lasted...

 

- My friend's brother. Her family is Pakistani-American. I crushed on him for a good 3 years without telling them. I knew I didn't have a shot because he would be having a rishta (arranged marriage). We still talk on occasion but I eventually grew out of the crush by limiting my time with the family.

 

- The Asian (Korean-American) guy who I liked and disclosed my feelings. My mother and her family were really excited because I'm half Korean. Alas, he liked a white girl and didn't reciprocate my feelings. I cried a lot. Unrequited like at 15 years old...

 

- My 6'3 white male best friend. Tall and blonde. Very intelligent guy but didn't feel the same way as well.

 

- Now I'm on to Latin guys! I have liked several of all different shades of color (black, mestizo, white) and am really hoping my current crush pans out to my liking! I'm cautiously optimistic about this one. He seems special.

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MoreThanThat

MoreThanThat

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It's all about everything combined for me. That said, the closest I've come to rejection were 3 different guys where everything was great but they were attracted to only Asian women. (I'm white.)

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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It's all about everything combined for me. That said, the closest I've come to rejection were 3 different guys where everything was great but they were attracted to only Asian women. (I'm white.)

 

Hmmm, could it be possible that men and women treat racial preference differently...? That is, men are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer to date while women are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer not to date...?

 

I might be onto something here... :eek:

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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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"Yeah, when you can actually give it to a girl to the beat of the slowjam in the background, then you got rhythm :D. "

 

YES, this is PRECISELY what I am talking about. This is magic potion. ;)

 

LOL. I just started another thread about a date last night. As we watched a live band, I was standing behind her and touching her in a suggestive but respectful way ALL NIGHT. Frankly it was crazy amounts of touching for a first date. I think she definitely liked my rhythm...

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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Hmmm, could it be possible that men and women treat racial preference differently...? That is, men are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer to date while women are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer not to date...?

 

I might be onto something here... :eek:

 

lol you are on to something and that actually shows that men have more racial biases. You usually choose a few races out of all and state that you prefer to date or not to date them. If men often use that for stating what they DO want to date, it means that they are more limited in what they like and find attractive compared to women.

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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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Race doesn't matter to me. I'm mixed (half white and half Asian). I've been attracted to all types of people

 

In that respect you are the female version of me.

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Djz05

Djz05

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Hmmm, could it be possible that men and women treat racial preference differently...? That is, men are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer to date while women are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer not to date...?

 

I might be onto something here... :eek:

 

That's interesting. Thinking about it now, I've heard similar comments along those lines. (guy friends preferred black/asian women, girl friends did not want to date middle eastern men... etc)

 

Personally, as an Asian, I prefer not to date within my nationality (Filipino), but its not a deal breaker.

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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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Hmmm, could it be possible that men and women treat racial preference differently...? That is, men are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer to date while women are more inclined to identify races that they would prefer not to date...?

 

I might be onto something here... :eek:

 

From my experiences I would say ALL men have some preferences, but they are just that. Preferences. None of them seem to be deal breakers. You may say you don't like white women but how many would really throw Gisele out of bed...

 

Whereas women will categorically refuse to date some men, who are objectively gorgeous, but not a race they are attracted to. I remember an ex telling me she was not attracted at all to black men. I said "So I'm more attractive to you than Tay Diggs?" - she said without a doubt. I know she wasn't blowing sunshine up my #$@#! because she also told me she'd leave me in a second for Johnny Depp or Leonardo Dicaprio...

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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From my experiences I would say ALL men have some preferences, but they are just that. Preferences. None of them seem to be deal breakers. You may say you don't like white women but how many would really throw Gisele out of bed...

 

Whereas women will categorically refuse to date some men, who are objectively gorgeous, but not a race they are attracted to. I remember an ex telling me she was not attracted at all to black men. I said "So I'm more attractive to you than Tay Diggs?" - she said without a doubt. I know she wasn't blowing sunshine up my #$@#! because she told me she'd leave me in a second for Johnny Depp or Leonardo Dicaprio...

 

Just because men will screw any woman doesn't mean they will commit to them. Men are just as racially biased if not more than women when it comes to commitment.

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KungFuJoe

KungFuJoe

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Just because men will screw any woman doesn't mean they will commit to them. Men are just as racially biased if not more than women when it comes to commitment.

 

That's a load of crap.

 

I'd elaborate but I'm too hungover right now.

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CryForNoOne

CryForNoOne

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Just because men will screw any woman doesn't mean they will commit to them. Men are just as racially biased if not more than women when it comes to commitment.

 

Touche. I think you've actually hit the nail on the head. I think both genders can be very biased but because men are so horny they'll cast that aside for some sex.

 

Being mixed, racial prejudice would deny my very existence, so I think I'm totally color blind. Most people I've observed are not though...

 

EDIT: I agree with your first sentence but I disagree that men are MORE biased...

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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That's a load of crap.

 

I'd elaborate but I'm too hungover right now.

 

Not much you can elaborate. It's something a lot of men even told me face to face. Last one was a couple of weeks ago actually where he said he would never settle down with an Asian girl no matter how much he clicks with her.:laugh:

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KungFuJoe

KungFuJoe

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Not much you can elaborate. It's something a lot of men even told me face to face. Last one was a couple of weeks ago actually where he said he would never settle down with an Asian girl no matter how much he clicks with her.:laugh:

 

Well why didn't you say that in the first place? If I had known that the ONE guy you spoke to felt that way, then I would have so totally believed you.

 

I mean, it's plainly obvious that ONE guy speaks for ALL men.

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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Well why didn't you say that in the first place? If I had known that the ONE guy you spoke to felt that way, then I would have so totally believed you.

 

I mean, it's plainly obvious that ONE guy speaks for ALL men.

 

Geez get over yourself and perhaps work on your reading skills as I clearly stated "a lot of" guys have told me that. Your personal experience does not speak for ALL men either. It goes without saying that not everyone factors race in finding love and a committed partner. However, there are a good deal of people that do and no, not the majority of them are women.

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MrCastle

MrCastle

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Racial bias crosses genders. I've heard men on other forums say some pretty harsh stuff, the jist being, they'll sleep with anyone, but dating them seriously is another thing.

 

The women I know who have racial biases won't let things progress past the friend zone.

 

I think we can all agree racial biases have no place in society.

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aj22one

aj22one

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Haha race matters big time to me. All my life I only dated brown girls; middle eastern, indian haha. Just very beautiful women haha. I'm white though, so I've had my share of rejections because I wasn't from that background haha.

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camillalev

camillalev

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generally when i'm turned on by a man they're white or mixed. A run down on some guys i've dated.. Italian, before him half south american half (white)australian, another guy was half french half middle eastern, before that half native american and half german(he had a bit of an asian look to him), and one guy was half korean half white. Another guy I was fiercely attracted to looked like he could have been half black ,half white, maybe with some native american in there. It's entirely possible he was full black but with a unique look. He had a girlfriend though :o There's been a smattering of random white dudes in between. So... I don't know what you call that. I don't 'look' for a specific race when dating.

 

I also find women who are halfies incredibly beautiful.

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thefooloftheyear

thefooloftheyear

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The reality is that there are good looking people from all races that can attract your fancy.

 

But there is one possible issue. And it manifests itself somewhere down the line. Not in all cases, mind you, but for many. Once the "honeymoon" phase is over and now you have to live with that person in a LTR, cultural differences can be a problem. What you and your family find acceptable their family may not and vice/versa. That's when the problems arise.

 

Being Italian, most of my family that married Italian wound up much happier than the ones that didn't.

 

Ive always admired Jewish people for this. They rarely marry outside of their religion. Their family unit(and extended family) is very strong.

 

While some might find this attitude biased, its plainly the facts. And I am not saying that it wouldnt work out- but issues could arise..

 

If you are just looking for hookups, then this usually doesnt apply.:laugh:

 

TFOY

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lucy_in_disguise

lucy_in_disguise

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It doesn't matter at all. There are physical characteristics im attracted to but they are not limited to one race ( ex: brown eyes, dark hair, stocky muscular build) And those are preferences, not requirements. I think mixed babies are the cutest and would love to end up with an Asian or black guy.

 

One bias I am aware that I have is a tendency to stereotype middle eastern guys as more likely to be misogynistic. For the record I am from the Middle East though I did not grow up there. I feel like my parents inflicted these stereotypes on me.

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amaysngrace

amaysngrace

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I don't really have much exposure to other races and really never have.

 

But a hot guy is a hot guy. I'd be okay with dating outside of my race if we got along well.

 

Plus I have been mistaken for being another ethnicity especially in summer so it's really no big deal.

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mesmerized

mesmerized

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I don't really have much exposure to other races and really never have.

 

But a hot guy is a hot guy. I'd be okay with dating outside of my race if we got along well.

 

Plus I have been mistaken for being another ethnicity especially in summer so it's really no big deal.

 

I just love your signature. Way too funny.:lmao:

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MrNate 2.0

MrNate 2.0

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Pretty slim to none.

 

A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman.

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MercuryMorrison1

MercuryMorrison1

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Race doesn't mean anything to me...I've been with everything from White's to Hispanics, to African Americans to Asians.

 

I'll admit I have a weakness for petite Asian girls...But honestly it doesn't really matter to me either way...I've found people of every race that I find attractive.

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40 Fonzarelli

40 Fonzarelli

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I would like a white girl's bubbly personality, a latin girls sexyness, a black girl's big butt, and an asian girl's brains all rolled into one.

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ltjg45

ltjg45

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I'm a black male.

 

All races is about equal except Black women and Chinese women.

 

Black Women is 1 peg lower than the other races and I can't date Chinese women. They are generally too weird for me.

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