regretting Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 Not sure why I'm even typing this. Maybe it will make me feel better... I have an old friend from high school that I think about a lot. If it's possible for male/females to become best friends, we did. We talked about everything, let each other cry on our shoulders on occasions. Problem is that, I wanted more than she did. For years (well after high school) we saw each other all the time even though we dated other people. It got to a point where I couldn't handle it. She started down a road of destruction. Drinking all the time, doing drugs, pregnancy scares. I was there for her for a while but finally had a conversation with her and told her that she needed help. Told her I would be there for her if she wanted my help but couldn't watch her do this to herself anymore. She blew up, told me there was nothing wrong and basically to piss off. I left her place and didn't speak to her for a year. She tried to contact me 6 months later but I wouldn't call her back. Got a letter from her finally (yeah, this was before email was real popular, I'm almost 40). In a nutshell she said that I was right. She had finally started working through some issues but was writing mainly to let me know that she missed me terribly and that she was moving. She wanted to see me before she left. I continued NC. Mainly because I was and had been for a very long time, insanely in love with her. I couldn't just be a "friend" anymore. 2 years go by and I'm dating a wonderful woman who has become the love of my life and the mother to the most wonderful 2 twin boys in the world. I'm sitting at my desk at work and the phone rings (not uncommon for inside sales). I looked at the number and didn't recognize but answered anyway. It was her. All kinds of feelings came back to me in an instant because at this point it had been well over two years, maybe almost 3, since we last spoke. Long story short, since I was only "dating" my current wife at this time, I ended up flying out for a short weekend to see my old friend. Seemed like old times but strong feelings came back to me and I could tell that there was no chance anything would happen between us long term. We kept in touch for a year or so after that then I started realizing I was keeping in touch with her because I was hoping there was still a chance for us to get together. I went back to NC with her realizing at that point in my life, she was a poison to me. Here I am 10 years later and I still think about her quite a bit. I know she's married and has a daughter. I'm married with a wonderful wife and 2 great kids. I really would like to get back in touch with her now. I have absolutely no romantic feelings for her anymore so not worried about that. Just wonder if she would even want me to contact her anymore. I'm sorry this is so long, if you've read the whole thing, thank you. Not sure what I really was expecting to get out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
velvetunderground Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 You're not sure why you're writing this because you know the answer. NC was the best decision you ever made. Why invite trouble, especially at this point in your life? There will always be that one – the whole time I was married every once in a while I'd think of one guy I used to be with but whom I knew was not right for me. Well, I knew he wasn't right for me. End of story. Same for you. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted April 6, 2013 Share Posted April 6, 2013 She was toxic to you...don't bring her into the lives of your wife and children. Link to post Share on other sites
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