Al Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Have you ever broken up with anyone that didn't want you to break up with them? How did you stay strong? I want to break up with my boyfriend but everytime I try, he talks me into letting him stay. I just can't take it anymore and would like to break up without a yelling match where we both say things we don't mean. Help me! Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Okay I can't say that recently I've been in the situation (I've been with my current BF for almost 2 years) anyway my advice is.... If you really want to break up with him, do it! Don't accept his calls, don't let him make you feel bad. You have to figure out if you stay with him because he makes you feel bad and guilty (basically gives you a guilt trip) or if you stay with him because you really don't want to break up? If you can't do it face to face then explain to him on the phone, email, IM whatever is comfortable to you. Be strong and ask him to please respect the "no contact" rules. Explain to him that you're serious (if you are) and that it will be easier for both of you if he doesn't contact you and then you don't contact him either. Make sure this is what you really want (which it sounds like it is) and stick to it no matter what he says or does. You shouldn't "feel obligated" to be with someone just because they make you feel bad about no longer wanting them. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I just didn't have any contact with the person what so ever, even to just be friendly. none. If you want it to end, you have to cut them off cold turkey. Barby is right about that. Otherwise, if you give him any kind of a hint that you may just possibly be interested, he will take it and run with it. If it's over, it's over, and let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Al Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 The hard part is, is that I can't just call him or email him. We live together. So he would have to pack up all of his belongings and leave. I think that's what gets me everytime. Link to post Share on other sites
bikerider Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Originally posted by Al The hard part is, is that I can't just call him or email him. We live together. So he would have to pack up all of his belongings and leave. I think that's what gets me everytime. Why don't you pack up YOUR things and move? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Yes if you find it hard (as most would) to see him pack his things and move why don't you pack your's and go since you're the one who wants to end things...do you own this place or is there some other reason why you can't go some where else to live? I can see how it would be hard but if he has to be the one to pack and move out, ask him to make arrangements on where is will be staying, tell him to come pack his things on a specefic date (and/or time) and either 1) have a friend over so it won't be so hard or 2) leave for a little while until he's done packing and has left. That way you either won't be alone during a hard time or you won't have to see him leaving with all his things...if you're serious about ending things with him you'll figure out what works best and go with it so that you don't prolong your's or his un-happiness! Do it sooner as opposed to later so you can both move on! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Al Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 I can't move b/c the apartment is rented under my name. It's my place that he moved into that's why he has to move. I told him that I'd be staying at my parents house until he gets his things moved. But he doesn't want to go. Link to post Share on other sites
WantanS4 Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 hahahaha... why do people get into relationships???/ why??? hahahahaaha...... rediculous..... i've learned my lesson..... Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Originally posted by Al I can't move b/c the apartment is rented under my name. It's my place that he moved into that's why he has to move. I told him that I'd be staying at my parents house until he gets his things moved. But he doesn't want to go. Well tell him he HAS to go or get the local police department involved since you are on the lease...tell him he HAS to go because you DON'T want to be with him anymore and he has no choice in the matter! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Al Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 See my problem is that I still love the guy although many people think that I shouldn't so I have a hard time being mean even after all he's put me through and then he puts on this sad face and I fall for it all over again. Anyone else out there have the same problem? How did you get the strength to finally put your foot down? Link to post Share on other sites
theone44 Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Well Al u know by the law u got to give a person 30 days notice before u can kick a person out "make sure u put it in writing with a witness with u"and get him to sign it. If,he don't leave after that,just go the legal route right down to your county court house and get him legally evicted"that will take another 30 days. Just keep staying at your parent house until he leave. Another option is ask him,if he would like to take over the lease of the Apartment and see what he say ,if he say no,then go with the legal way. Now,if u want to break up with him,just meet him in a public place with a lot of people there, and tell him u would like to break up with him,cause it is not working out between the both of u,but first take care of the moving out and the Apartment issues first and then the break up up later. It is best to take care of one thing at a time and if he can't take the break up that is his problem,cause a real man will accept it without a big fuss and with class and move on,but just be nice about it and tell him with respect...... Link to post Share on other sites
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