SmileFace Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I don't know. I don't want the bad stuff, I honestly just want to meet someone and date and get married and have beautiful little babies. I want to not be lonely and sad all the time. I was so happy when this relationship started, like the most happy I have ever been and now I'm not happy because more than likely it is ending. Are you sure you were happy? You were here bitching half time about the non-relationship. You were happy with an idea- - your idea.. not what is really happening. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I want to not be lonely and sad all the time. It's not the job of a baby or a husband to make you no longer be lonely and sad. In fact, it's your job as a wife and mother to be the one who takes all that away from the child. You are going to put the responsibilities of a man and woman on a little infant? I am not saying this in a cruel way, but you need therapy. You are trying to fill the holes in your soul with other people and that is never going to work. There is some reason why you are so upset on your own. I'm not qualified to comment on it, and not under these circumstances especially. But I would really really like to see you set up an appointment with a counselor to talk about these issues. I used to be very insecure about myself too, and the only thing that helps is introspection and growing as a person (to do this counseling really is an indispensable tool). When you get into a relationship it is as if you re putting two plants into a single pot. If one of the plants is weak and sickly it will either be overtaken by the other plant, or both will become infected and die. You need to make sure you are in a healthy mindset before you can add yourself into someone's life. You are placing so much emphasis on someone who's known you but 3 months, and you are using how they view you to bolster your self confidence. No one is ever going to be strong enough to be a pillar for an insecure person. By allowing yourself to be like this you'll end up dragging every relationship you have into a watery grave. Insecurity and immature behavior is nothing to be ashamed of, especially at this age, as long as you are going to try and improve yourself and fix the situation. What would be truly detestable is to go ahead with this insecurity... because you are young and pretty and soon you'll meet an insecure guy who also just wants a wife and baby... And that'll be the start to a long, sad road... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I don't know. I don't want the bad stuff, I honestly just want to meet someone and date and get married and have beautiful little babies. I want to not be lonely and sad all the time. I was so happy when this relationship started, like the most happy I have ever been and now I'm not happy because more than likely it is ending. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get married and to have children. A lot of people want that. However, you are never going to be happy because that is the only thing you want out of life. You are about to graduate college and haven't even begun looking for a job. You have no idea what you are going to do with your life. Apparently you were waiting to plan it around this guy that you just met a few months ago. (You spend four years of college getting a degree and then base a life decision on some guy? Really?) You are jealous of other people who are in relationships and are having children. You can't figure out what hobbies you might be interested in. How is it that you are 22 years old and have no interests outside of boys? I just can't even fathom. Honestly, you fascinate me. What do your parents think about your life goals? Am I correct in guessing that your mother is a career woman and has been very successful at her career? Honestly IIB, you need therapy. I really wish you could come live with me for six months so I could put you through independence / confidence / hobbies / life goals bootcamp. It is AWESOME being 22 and single. I wish you would realize that. Everything else falls into place later. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 You realize that beautiful babies turn into sleep-depriving, expensive, poop-smearing, screaming little people, right? And that's just in the first couple of years. Link to post Share on other sites
Drseussgrrl Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 You realize that beautiful babies turn into sleep-depriving, expensive, poop-smearing, screaming little people, right? And that's just in the first couple of years. She wants someone there to love her unconditionally. She doesn't see men as life partners, but sperm banks. Which is why she'd become a single mom at 30 (ON PURPOSE). Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 She wants someone there to love her unconditionally. Babies don't love anyone unconditionally. Ask my Mother. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 That's interesting, dreussgirl. I never thought of that aspect of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I know, which is why it's going to work out SO well (my sarcasm tag is around here somewhere) when they start ignoring her, screaming back at her, rolling their eyes at her, ignoring her, telling her they hate her.... I love my mom more than anything and everything in the world, but it was just the two of us, and she can tell you it wasn't exactly always sunshine and roses, you know? I think IB needs to love herself unconditionally. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 You realize that beautiful babies turn into sleep-depriving, expensive, poop-smearing, screaming little people, right? And that's just in the first couple of years. there's a saying on fb that goes smth like: "oh, you're getting ready to have a baby? you'd better catch some sleep now, 'cause you won't be closing one eye for the next 30 years". thought that was quite funny . Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Is that point before or after getting tired of looking for a job? If you are referring to me, before. At this point, I can't get tired of looking for a job because that means I gave up. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I mean I am kind of prepared mentally to be a single parent Oh my god. No, just... no. :confused::confused: Have you even babysat for anyone for a significant amount of time before? Like.. a weekend? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 You realize that beautiful babies turn into sleep-depriving, expensive, poop-smearing, screaming little people, right? And that's just in the first couple of years. Sometimes, they're even born with life threatening or altering conditons and present nothing at all of the "beautiful babies" fantasy oft touted by this OP. Any child who's born to a mother who wants "beautiful babies" (and the OP has specified that their father needs to be white, because her babies must be mixed in order to be beautiful enough) to complete herself and give her an identity is bound for a LOT OF TROUBLE. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Oh my god. No, just... no. :confused::confused: Have you even babysat for anyone for a significant amount of time before? Like.. a weekend? Maybe try a puppy first? That you have to take care of ALL by yourself, 24/7, with no help from anyone? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 A possible solution that doesn't include therapy or drugs, is to volunteer time to worthy causes. This would focus her idealism towards positive efforts and might help to mitigate self-absorption by providing a world view that's realistic. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) A possible solution that doesn't include therapy or drugs, is to volunteer time to worthy causes. This would focus her idealism towards positive efforts and might help to mitigate self-absorption by providing a world view that's realistic. She believes she is "kinda" mentally prepared to be a single parent... If this was a 15 year old I'd say she needs to go to summer camp and hasn't seen enough of the world to know there is more to life than finding her value in a man or child. This is a 22 year old woman who has been making claims about having a baby and raising it on her own because she is so scared she won't be able to find someone to share that goal with her. It seems like these ideas are pretty deeply ingrained in her... did you see that horrible song she wants her life to be like? I absolutely thought this whole thing must be a joke when I saw that song. I am going to say therapy is needed... Absolutely volunteering would be a good idea for her though. Perhaps at a woman's shelter or with foster children where she can see the real consequences of being "kinda" ready for children. *And "when this relationship started, [it was] like the most happy [she] have ever been" So the happiest she has ever been has been getting into a relationship that panned out for 3 months. Beauty, have you ever been outside your country? City? No hobbies? Why are you going to school/what were you planning on doing after? Edited April 8, 2013 by WhoreyBull 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Maybe try a puppy first? That you have to take care of ALL by yourself, 24/7, with no help from anyone? Oh.... no.... Let's not encourage someone to have a puppy unless they are genuinely ready to have a dog for the next 12-15 years. Please, this is how 1-year-old dogs end up in the shelter. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
zanzi Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 you want to honestly know what the problem is here. It is that A) you are relying on another person to make you happy. B) everything you post is hysterical. Are you really 22? C) This boy is not the problem. You are making the problem. You hound him, you see that he has other things to do and yet instead of finding something to do with yourself with friends or something, you push even harder for attention. D) have you ever seen how much love, affection, care, training, and patience a puppy needs when you raise it? Now times that multiple times. Nobody likes a desperate single mother who wants to snag a dad for her child. which leads me on to point, E) You stink of desperation. Everything you say is about happy endings, just want someone else to fulfil me. Want to spend all my time with someone else. Men can smell desperation on a women from a mile away and it scares them off like cats and water. let me be clear. You will NOT die if you are single. You NEED to be single because you are way too messed up to be with someone, by the sounds of it. this BOY is not your whole world, universe, or even weekday. please harden up and listen to what I'm trying to say to you. A BABY is not the answer. honestly? It is just going to make your PROBLEMS WORSE. take a deep breath and just chill out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 Guys I'm getting bummed again. I can't handle this like honestly. I would seriously trade school to just be someone's girlfriend, like of course I am decent in school but can't find a relationship, I would rather just have the relationship. Anyone pretty much can do decent in school. I just want to trade lives with my friend who is pretty and all the hottest guys want her and she has a cute boyfriend (and has sex regularly) OMG what am I going to do. I am about to not have sex for God knows how long because of this ordeal... This is a major bummer. It just sucks that now I have to go back to online dating again and meet a bunch of douchers who just want sex and soft through those again like I'm just baffled. I also think about my lack of activities this summer, he and I planned to go to all these awesome country concerts and now idk because I don't have friends who would go with me and the one friend I have who would is going with her group of friends. I need to just move after graduation out of this ****ball town and meet guys in another state because this is obviously not working. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 any non-douchers want to step up to the plate? nah, you're right, IB, it's a pain starting over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 any non-douchers want to step up to the plate? nah, you're right, IB, it's a pain starting over. I just like him a ton, I can't imagine clicking with someone like that again. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 girl, honestly, it's just a dude! you're 21, the world is yours! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Then you have a tragically poor imagination. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I just like him a ton, I can't imagine clicking with someone like that again. Pretty sure you said this about the last guy...... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 ....and the one before...... Link to post Share on other sites
zanzi Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Guys I'm getting bummed again. I can't handle this like honestly. I would seriously trade school to just be someone's girlfriend, like of course I am decent in school but can't find a relationship, I would rather just have the relationship. *beats head against wall in despair.* please don't say sh*t like that. it hurts feminisms and common senses ears. this is a lost cause. You sound more like a sixteen year old girl then a women my age. Its obvious why you cant get a decent relationship but you refuse to listen to sensible advice. who would want to be with someone who would rather "have a boyfriend" then go to school and get a decent education? nobody, ok. Nobody wants that. Not even an insane person would want that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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