Els Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 And have cute babies with! Immediately! :bunny::bunny: That sparkle and never grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 That sparkle and never grow up. Sea monkeys? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I am going to therapy. Difference between me and those people I refuse to be single and ill do anything to not be:) I'm proud of that at least. No, the difference is that you are incredibly desperate and have virtually no standards. If you are single and want to be in a relationship, you should absolutely put yourself out there and try to meet people. The difference is that you're willing to be with anyone who is reasonably attractive (to you) - regardless of whether they really make you happy or whether the relationship is good/healthy. That is nothing to be proud of. At all. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Anyone suggested she date me yet? That always seems to pop up in threads like this. ----- ImperfectionisBeauty, you'll do fine. You've already made a ton of posts how you didn't like the way the relationship was going and how you unfilled because of the small amount of time together plus the lack of sex. Now you can look for somebody who actually has time for you, and wants to get down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Anyone suggested she date me yet? You did, last I recall. Not on this thread, though. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Anyone suggested she date me yet? Seems she is trawling hook-up sites to meet guys in hotels for sex. She admits as much... You probably wouldn't even have to pay for a date, it seems. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Seems she is trawling hook-up sites to meet guys in hotels for sex. She admits as much... You probably wouldn't even have to pay for a date, it seems. Wow. There should be a cliffnotes for this thread. I just read the first post and there are 422. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Wow. There should be a cliffnotes for this thread. I just read the first post and there are 422. I'll oblige with the cliff notes: All you need to do to date IB is to be cute with her and want to marry her and make cute babies with her that she can stay at home with and be cute with. Oh, and you also need to be the centre of her universe. Thinking of applying? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
debber01 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 What if you got married tomorrow and your husband left you? Just rolled over one morning, told you he was no longer in love and was leaving? What if he met someone else and left you for her? God forbid, what if he died and left you a widow? Sh*t happens. LIFE happens. You seem to think that getting married is a 100% guarantee that you will be happy / locked into a forever sort of relationship, and that's just not the case. You can't force anyone to be with you or stay with you. You have to be okay enough with YOU that you can move forward in life on your own, if push comes to shove. ^^This. There are no guarantees IB. I was married for 23 years, together for 25, and he just suddenly filed for divorce one day with no warning, no signs, just did it. You can't ever think that marriage will mean forever. It just isn't realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 They have a word for that. Its called desperation. Men love to bang desperate women, but they seldom date desperate women. I don't approve, but yeah I agree that is what happens, and thus the desperation cycle continues, as desperate women are constantly "pumped and dumped", and their hearts get more and more hurt, and eventually they become bitter or just simply "throw their hearts away" and begin to use men like men use them. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 You've never been on the receiving side of this phenomenon am I right? Before I experienced this I didn't have a clue either - so I don't find it that surprising to see these type of replies. All you can think about is the pussy that comes along with the ride. I can tell you have no clue what you are setting yourself up for. Being in a committed relationship with someone harboring glaring insecurity, dependency and overly attached is very draining on your emotional health. It literally sucks your energy away. We aren't talking about what normal bfs/gfs do in a relationship - were talking about a level that gets all out of hand. They let their own insecurity and attachment issues take over themselves and what you get is someone with a whole different character than the person you choose to be in a relationship with. It affects more and more parts of your life as they want to do everything together. They just don't see the problem with ditching hobbies, friends even careers just so they can spend more and more time with you. And they cannot understand why a normal person does want to keep time and space for themselves. I've had my partner have problems with my friends, with me sleeping apart every once in a while (we were not living together yet!), with my aspirations, my interests. If this goes on for long enough you will start resenting this person. And it is incredibly difficult to stop a relationship if your partner is fighting tooth and nail to deny that you might be doubting the relationship just a little bit off-balanced. It is always hard to break up - but this bring it to a whole new level. They will do everything to turn the tide: persuade, lie, threaten that they'll be forever alone, threaten that their life is worthless without you, heck some of them will even sabotage birth control to get what they want. It's generally not looked well upon by her friends, family and possibly shared friend. Who wants to dump a person that obviously is very 'committed' to a relationship? You can bet that its going to leave some 'jerk' stigma if you do eventually break it off as many people don't understand how toxic overly attached partners are. I'm very happy my partner changed before I couldn't take it anymore. But if I have to be honest I was not able to tolerate the large amounts of BS's i've accepted during that phase. Everything turned out to be alright - but that was because my girlfriend changed herself to be a better person that could be happy with who she was. And I am fully aware that not everyone does that and if it doesn't happen there is nothing you can do to make them change. Beauty, please study this post of man_in_the_box. Don't worry about the jabs some people are throwing at you. Rather, this thread has some gold nuggets of advice and this man's experience in dealing with a clingy and desperate lady can help you see how detrimental that is to a relationship. Please copy this and take it to your therapist, and work together with your therapist on not being desperate and not clinging to a guy, k? That will help you to be in a healthy, happy relationship someday. Relationships require a lot of work, like gardening. You need to cut out the weeds (in this case, desperation and being clingy are weeds that choke the life out of your relationship), and you need to learn about what makes relationships, and Love in that relationship, grow. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 In 18 years they can kick them out of the house. On a more serious note, I just changed a diaper. Not such a big deal, eh? But my "baby" turned 16 two weeks ago. Others have made it clear that things don't always turn out the way we have planned, or would like. She will never get her driver's permit, never go to prom, never have that first date. I'm feeding her now, through a gastrotomy tube. And by the sound of it, it's time for me to get up and suck the snot out of her trach. On top of everything else, she's a juvenile diabetic, and while the finger sticks don't bother her, the smell of rubbing alcohol does. Or maybe because it warns her that the stick is coming. Who knows? I can't tell one dam thing about what may be going on in her head. FYI, she's not mine, this is what I do for a living. It has given me a great appreciation on how quickly your life can take a turn, for better or worse. It's not my duty to worry what will become of her should she outlive her parents, but here I sit wondering. Make that list of what you ARE grateful for, and add one thing to it every night. Get out, volunteer, experience life. Choose a cause, and give it all your effort. In the process, you will meet like-minded people, and who knows where that will take you. I wish I had started sooner (like at 22, LOL!) 10 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 On a more serious note, I just changed a diaper. Not such a big deal, eh? But my "baby" turned 16 two weeks ago. Others have made it clear that things don't always turn out the way we have planned, or would like. She will never get her driver's permit, never go to prom, never have that first date. I'm feeding her now, through a gastrotomy tube. And by the sound of it, it's time for me to get up and suck the snot out of her trach. On top of everything else, she's a juvenile diabetic, and while the finger sticks don't bother her, the smell of rubbing alcohol does. Or maybe because it warns her that the stick is coming. Who knows? I can't tell one dam thing about what may be going on in her head. FYI, she's not mine, this is what I do for a living. It has given me a great appreciation on how quickly your life can take a turn, for better or worse. It's not my duty to worry what will become of her should she outlive her parents, but here I sit wondering. You have my utmost respect for caring for this child. Make that list of what you ARE grateful for, and add one thing to it every night. Get out, volunteer, experience life. Choose a cause, and give it all your effort. In the process, you will meet like-minded people, and who knows where that will take you. I wish I had started sooner (like at 22, LOL!) AWESOME advice!!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I love how this has turned into like OTT v2 how cute! I have learned from some other posters here, how to accumulate viral "likes". Basically, you post in the first page and just say something about how off the OP is. Then you hope the thread goes viral. You can just stay on main page and hit all the new threads that way; most topics are the same, i.e. "women don't like my height" "I am a perfect women, yet no men want me"; threads about inadequacy or private topics people don't share in real life, seem to be the most popular; also certain posters that everyone likes to pounce on) so just keep a word document with your template answer. One or two will go viral, in which case you will receive dozens of viral likes. Much better strategy than wading through that OTT; viral likes are also considered more legitimate. Much more efficient too. I have used this strategy in two viral threads recently. This one and also in the penis size thread. In retrospect, if your post does not appease confirmation bias, it is less likely to receive viral likes. For example, I posted statistical data in the "penis size matters to women" and only like one or two people liked it. It went viral, but few care about the technical research. Most are interested in gossip. So do not get too technical (like my analysis of viral likes). It is much better if you post something about the OP's personality. Also, the shorter the better. I have just contributed the only thing that actually matters in this thread. I predict it will not receive many likes. but then again maybe I am using reverse psychology so that I will receive more likes. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Maybe I'd like your post if I understood what you're talking about. Not facetious, I really don't get it. It was my sad attempt at humor. It's why I don't post in OTT. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 So did he dump you yet or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Let's keep the insults off this thread please. On topic posts please and no this isn't the OTT Edited April 9, 2013 by Robert 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 So did he dump you yet or what? No. I'm gonna wait until Thursday then text him and see what's up. I can't just let this go. I like him too much. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Op have you always loved drama? It's self inflicting you know, cause and effect darling. Maybe you should work on toning down the whole drama thing you are rocking and dating could become a bit easier. Edited April 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
tuxedo cat Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 No. I'm gonna wait until Thursday then text him and see what's up. I can't just let this go. I like him too much. Why would you want to be with a guy who has been ignoring you for three weeks? He sounds inconsiderate to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I'm so confused about what you mean.. but ok. If you want to beat me while I am already down, about how dumb I am or how I shouldn't have sex or shouldn't date, or have babies, or how I am a bad friend, or too jealous, or have no empathy, or all the other issues I have then fine. It can't get much worse than it is so please keep going. ImperfectionisBeauty, Noone is perfect. While some people do tend to like to attack a person who is down, please don't take their mean posts to heart. What is good however in your making this thread is that it's a great learning opportunity to figure out how to let fear, desperation, and the clingy nature driven by fear/insecurity go! So, please take to heart all the posts with good advice and with insight as to why the issues you are going through are such huge problems and are detrimental to relationships, and what to do to get out of them! You are not alone. There are many who have struggled with things in which you are struggling, and you can break free from them and learn to enjoy life without a boyfriend and without the fear of being alone! Once you enjoy life without a boyfriend, it's so much easier to enjoy life WITH a boyfriend. When people think that a relationship or another person will MAKE them happy, they usually are disappointed. It's not healthy to be dependent on another person or a relationship for happiness. Rather, your future boyfriend will be very blessed if you learn to enjoy life and already have a fulfilling life before he becomes a part of your life. It's much more healthy to be happy WITH another person than to depend on that person for happiness!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Whats OTT? Off Topic Thread. Edited April 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Add link Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 No. I'm gonna wait until Thursday then text him and see what's up. I can't just let this go. I like him too much. Many guys do not appreciate being chased by a girl they think is insecure. While I don't know this guy or you, I do think you have given off insecure vibes which scare him. One thing that attracted my husband to me was that I did not chase him. I let him chase me and I made it a fun chase. While there are some guys who like to be chased, many guys tend to have a "hunter instinct" to them that ups their desire to connect on a deep level with their "prey." Lol, sounds funny but is true. My advice is to wait for him to text you, and then answer by calling and leaving a simple and sweet and happy message (if he doesn't answer the call). If he never texts/calls you, let him go. Heal and move on. It's not the end of the world. Personally, I think it will help a lot for you to work on letting go of the fear, desperation, and insecurity before being in a relationship. Midwest's advice to concentrate on what you are grateful for and get involved in helping others is awesome, because that can help you let go of what is holding you back and pull out these specific "weeds" (and there are many other weeds too) that choke the life and joy out of relationships! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Why would you want to be with a guy who has been ignoring you for three weeks? He sounds inconsiderate to say the least. We have texted everyday and talked in the phone a few times in that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 (edited) Maybe you should work on toning down the whole drama thing you are rocking and dating could become a bit easier. I like other people's drama not my own. Ok aren't you like a little not older than me? And you have a long term boyfriend so... Edited April 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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