My life is over.. I think I am getting dumped.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

What did is say and what was yoru tone?

 

Im assuming no reply to the vM an text? at this point, I dont think you should contact him again - do you agree?

 

Just asking where we stand telling him I like him and I don't want it to be over but if it is he can tell me and we can move on. And if I don't get a response I'm going to assume its over.

 

My tone was.. Idk I was serious but I smiled lol I usually smile. I wanted him to remember how cute and happy and funny I am so he would like me again

[SmileFace]

Just asking where we stand telling him I like him and I don't want it to be over but if it is he can tell me and we can move on. And if I don't get a response I'm going to assume its over.

 

My tone was.. Idk I was serious but I smiled lol I usually smile. I wanted him to remember how cute and happy and funny I am so he would like me again

This is a problem.

You are still entertaining the idea of him.

This is sad

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

This a problem.

You are still entertaining the idea of him.

This is sad

 

I mean I still hope one day he will think "wow I really liked her" and shoot me a text. Im not gonna wait around for it but maybe one day if he is still single. He said he wants a family one day soon and maybe you know he would want that with me if he is still single.. I mean you never know.

[Leigh 87]

sorry, I meant to say: I did not see the benefit of being in a relationship, because I had, for years, drilled it into myself that I had to be totally happy along first.

 

BY the time he came along, I was happy, and therefore saw no additional reason to get a boyfriend.

 

 

And Imperfect - your starting to sound freaky, as I once did I am sure: if a guy is seriously interested in getting to know you further, you will not have to convince him of great you are.

 

I was a total freak and did a lot of aloof and seemingly "off" things when we met, but that could not stop him from seeing me, and continuing to do so.

 

Really, you can do not wrong in a guys eyes if he truly wants you! I mean, providing your a decent person and you apologise for any nasty behaviour.

 

BUT, you know.. You want to go out of your way to show him a good side of you to make him want you more; when really, if a guy is that interested in you, you can do something totally weird, or look really bad one day, and he will STILL. WANT. YOU.

[SmileFace]

I mean I still hope one day he will think "wow I really liked her" and shoot me a text. Im not gonna wait around for it but maybe one day if he is still single. He said he wants a family one day soon and maybe you know he would want that with me if he is still single.. I mean you never know.

Dafuq

 

Why would you even want a family with some dude who doesn't even think you are important enough to get a reply?

[KatZee]

I saw your man... Don't want. So thanks but no thanks, I'm cute and funny and I'm gonna get another guy I'm sure. You couldn't even make your marriage work, you're definitely not someone I would model any relationship after.

 

Ew.

 

Are you f.ucking kidding me OP? I think everyone's been pretty damn helpful to you, you have close to 50 pages of advice and people trying to help you, and THIS is what you come back with?

 

Now I can truly see why you're so miserable alone and why you're not able to handle it. You really don't like yourself much, do you? To make your own self feel better you resort to treating someone else like crap.

 

And you're going to sit and wonder why this guy ran like hell from you? Whether you say certain things or not, the way you behave gives off a vibe. If you're jealous, people can sniff it off you even if you're saying absolutely nothing.

 

This post was absolutely uncalled for. Don't ever tell someone what they can and can't do if you haven't walked for one mile in their shoes. Fact of the matter is that LMR IS in a relationship right now. She may have have a marriage that failed, but guess what? 50+% of marriages DO fail even if you put in the work, get counseling, etc.

 

YOU'RE the one who can't maintain a relationship in any sort of capacity, so those who have been down the broken road, and who now HAVE something that works are the people you should be listening to. Because those are the people who have made the mistakes and who have learned from them.

 

You're cute and funny? And you're going to get another man? You think being cute and funny will get you a husband?

 

You seem to only want to hear what you want to hear and not much more than that.

 

Stop being so bullheaded, stop thinking you're so perfect and that you're going to wind up with this perfect life, don't act like someone has the magic cure for you to have a great relationship. Do the work, learn from your mistakes. Take the advice from the people here who have the experience in what you're going through.

 

Whether or not you find her boyfriend attractive is completely irrelevant. What she wants and what you want are two different things. Doesn't give you the right to speak badly of it.

[BetheButterfly]

if a guy is seriously interested in getting to know you further, you will not have to convince him of great you are.

 

...

 

Really, you can do not wrong in a guys eyes if he truly wants you! I mean, providing your a decent person and you apologise for any nasty behaviour.

 

... if a guy is that interested in you, you can do something totally weird, or look really bad one day, and he will STILL. WANT. YOU.

 

So true!!!

[StarsOnFire]

I mean I still hope one day he will think "wow I really liked her" and shoot me a text. Im not gonna wait around for it but maybe one day if he is still single. He said he wants a family one day soon and maybe you know he would want that with me if he is still single.. I mean you never know.

 

Stop! He's being so rude by ignoring you and not giving your closure! You deserve better! There's many other guys out there, do not set your standards so low as to where you'd go back to someone who doesn't respect you or your feelings.

[snowflakes88]

But fine, don't listen to me, because I have no idea what i am talking about... I just seem to have something you don't and posess the capability to keep it... A MAN.

 

Incredibly rude.

[KatZee]

Incredibly rude.

 

However, not exactly uncalled for.

[snowflakes88]

ooooooh sorry I just realised she said those mean comments to that other girl.

 

My bad.

 

It was still mean though? As if she wanted to marry a guy who was wrong for her?

 

Do you think people marry with the intention of getting a divorce?

 

And you do realise that people marry the wrong people, but just not realise it at he time they get married?

 

It was equally rude for Missjacklyn to suggest that her ability to get into a relationship and "keep" her man somehow places her personal value above that of the OP. There's no shame in being divorced, but bragging about how you can keep a man while the OP can't is a bit ironic when you already have a divorce under your belt. Both of them are out of line, IMO.

[Keenly]

Incredibly rude.

 

 

So its rude to defend yourself when your boyfriend is insulted right in front of you?

[miss_jaclynrae]

Ew.

 

Are you f.ucking kidding me OP? I think everyone's been pretty damn helpful to you, you have close to 50 pages of advice and people trying to help you, and THIS is what you come back with?

 

Now I can truly see why you're so miserable alone and why you're not able to handle it. You really don't like yourself much, do you? To make your own self feel better you resort to treating someone else like crap.

 

And you're going to sit and wonder why this guy ran like hell from you? Whether you say certain things or not, the way you behave gives off a vibe. If you're jealous, people can sniff it off you even if you're saying absolutely nothing.

 

This post was absolutely uncalled for. Don't ever tell someone what they can and can't do if you haven't walked for one mile in their shoes. Fact of the matter is that LMR IS in a relationship right now. She may have have a marriage that failed, but guess what? 50+% of marriages DO fail even if you put in the work, get counseling, etc.

 

YOU'RE the one who can't maintain a relationship in any sort of capacity, so those who have been down the broken road, and who now HAVE something that works are the people you should be listening to. Because those are the people who have made the mistakes and who have learned from them.

 

You're cute and funny? And you're going to get another man? You think being cute and funny will get you a husband?

 

You seem to only want to hear what you want to hear and not much more than that.

 

Stop being so bullheaded, stop thinking you're so perfect and that you're going to wind up with this perfect life, don't act like someone has the magic cure for you to have a great relationship. Do the work, learn from your mistakes. Take the advice from the people here who have the experience in what you're going through.

 

Whether or not you find her boyfriend attractive is completely irrelevant. What she wants and what you want are two different things. Doesn't give you the right to speak badly of it.

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for this. I may be just a person on the Internet, but If op had read some of my previous posts, she would see that my ex husband became verbally physically and emotionally abusive after suffering from PTSD from a deployment.

 

 

But no, I guess because he was military and since I gave an opinion she didn't like, i had the perfect marriage and everything I could have wanted and I ruined it.

[miss_jaclynrae]

It was equally rude for Missjacklyn to suggest that her ability to get into a relationship and "keep" her man somehow places her personal value above that of the OP. There's no shame in being divorced, but bragging about how you can keep a man while the OP can't is a bit ironic when you already have a divorce under your belt. Both of them are out of line, IMO.

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just going to clear up that when I said I has a man, which she doesn't, it was to add to my point that maybe she should listen to some of my advice since having a man is something she wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I the only one who sees logic in that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for my divorce? I am so over defending myself. I was married, he became abusive, I stayed until it was clear only one person was willing to fix the marriage. I guess that means I can't keep a man right?

[Lonely Ronin]

I mean I still hope one day he will think "wow I really liked her" and shoot me a text. Im not gonna wait around for it but maybe one day if he is still single. He said he wants a family one day soon and maybe you know he would want that with me if he is still single.. I mean you never know.

 

You really have no idea how crazy this makes you look do you?

 

If i was this guy, I'd probably be telling all my friends to avoid you like the plague, and I have your number blocked in short order.

 

You need to learn to be OK on your own. You are never going to be able to keep a good guy around with the way you are currently acting. The only guys who will stick around if you continue to act the way you are, are the ones that are going to use you.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Ew.

 

Are you f.ucking kidding me OP? I think everyone's been pretty damn helpful to you, you have close to 50 pages of advice and people trying to help you, and THIS is what you come back with?

 

Now I can truly see why you're so miserable alone and why you're not able to handle it. You really don't like yourself much, do you? To make your own self feel better you resort to treating someone else like crap.

 

And you're going to sit and wonder why this guy ran like hell from you? Whether you say certain things or not, the way you behave gives off a vibe. If you're jealous, people can sniff it off you even if you're saying absolutely nothing.

 

This post was absolutely uncalled for. Don't ever tell someone what they can and can't do if you haven't walked for one mile in their shoes. Fact of the matter is that LMR IS in a relationship right now. She may have have a marriage that failed, but guess what? 50+% of marriages DO fail even if you put in the work, get counseling, etc.

 

YOU'RE the one who can't maintain a relationship in any sort of capacity, so those who have been down the broken road, and who now HAVE something that works are the people you should be listening to. Because those are the people who have made the mistakes and who have learned from them.

 

You're cute and funny? And you're going to get another man? You think being cute and funny will get you a husband?

 

You seem to only want to hear what you want to hear and not much more than that.

 

Stop being so bullheaded, stop thinking you're so perfect and that you're going to wind up with this perfect life, don't act like someone has the magic cure for you to have a great relationship. Do the work, learn from your mistakes. Take the advice from the people here who have the experience in what you're going through.

 

Whether or not you find her boyfriend attractive is completely irrelevant. What she wants and what you want are two different things. Doesn't give you the right to speak badly of it.

 

That's all fine and good but I'm not going to let someone insult me about being single, she was just as rude so... Oh well

[snowflakes88]

So its rude to defend yourself when your boyfriend is insulted right in front of you?

 

Where did she insult her bf before she taunted her about not being able to keep a man? Maybe I missed it...

[BetheButterfly]

It was equally rude for Missjacklyn to suggest that her ability to get into a relationship and "keep" her man somehow places her personal value above that of the OP. There's no shame in being divorced, but bragging about how you can keep a man while the OP can't is a bit ironic when you already have a divorce under your belt. Both of them are out of line, IMO.

 

She was trying to help. I know when I was 22, my friends who were around my age would always give me advice and counsel about guys, and I appreciated most the advice from my friends who currently were in relationships. I didn't hold their past relationships against them but rather was interested in learning. Now, some of the advice they gave me was not incredibly helpful and focused more on looks than on attitudes/views on life, but I appreciated my friends' desire to help me.

 

While people on this forum aren't all personal friends, one can learn from strangers if they want to. I am happy for Miss J, and I very much hope that someday soon, ImperfectionisBeauty will experience a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man too!!!

 

I don't think Miss J was placing "her personal value above that of the OP" at all. Rather, she was just writing from her own experiences and her experience right now is happy. Hopefully ImperfectionisBeauty will enjoy a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man too, and be happy WITH him - not dependent on him for happiness!

 

People are going give advice from their own experiences in life and if the OP learns from them, that's great. If not, that's her decision. Can't we all just get along though, and show each other respect and kindness, even if we don't agree?

[snowflakes88]

I'm just going to clear up that when I said I has a man, which she doesn't, it was to add to my point that maybe she should listen to some of my advice since having a man is something she wants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I the only one who sees logic in that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As for my divorce? I am so over defending myself. I was married, he became abusive, I stayed until it was clear only one person was willing to fix the marriage. I guess that means I can't keep a man right?

 

I personally don't see the logic in it, no. Would I place high value on advice from someone who has been happily married for X years? Yes. Do I assume that just because someone has a boyfriend of a few months or however long, that they must know how to do something I don't and should be highly regarded? No. And I say that as someone who has been dating someone for several months. I got lucky in that I met someone I really like who happened to really like me too. I don't think it's because I'm a special snowflake who has some special man-getting and/or man-keeping skills. And sorry, but I did (and do) find the "I have something you don't!" aspect of your post to be rude. My opinion.

 

You certainly don't have to defend your divorce to me. I don't know the reasons behind it and frankly, I don't care. I don't mean that in a rude way, either. But I'm sure we all have broken past relationships, unless you're one of those people who happens to marry your high school sweetheart or something. So to flaunt the fact that you know how to "keep a man" - when surely, you've lost at least one along the way... otherwise, you'd be with the first person you ever dated - seems very silly to me, and meant more to antagonize.

 

Don't want to derail the thread with this, but I stand by my initial opinion. And as I said, I think both of you were out of line. OP included.

[KatZee]

Where did she insult her bf before she taunted her about not being able to keep a man? Maybe I missed it...

 

Right here:

 

Originally Posted by ImperfectionisBeauty

I saw your man... Don't want. So thanks but no thanks, I'm cute and funny and I'm gonna get another guy I'm sure. You couldn't even make your marriage work, you're definitely not someone I would model any relationship after.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Ok this isn't miss whatever's post so I don't care about her boyfriend I don't feel bad about what I said I'm not apologizing, she was just as rude to me I defended myself the end.

[KatZee]

Ok this isn't miss whatever's post so I don't care about her boyfriend I don't feel bad about what I said I'm not apologizing, she was just as rude to me I defended myself the end.

 

Needing to get the last word in doesn't make you any better in this situation. You both should be apologizing and move past it. Maybe another thing you need to do some introspection on.

[snowflakes88]

Right here:

 

Originally Posted by ImperfectionisBeauty

I saw your man... Don't want. So thanks but no thanks, I'm cute and funny and I'm gonna get another guy I'm sure. You couldn't even make your marriage work, you're definitely not someone I would model any relationship after.

 

Right, which came after the post about MJ having something OP does not - the ability to get a keep a man.

[BetheButterfly]

Ok this isn't miss whatever's post so I don't care about her boyfriend I don't feel bad about what I said I'm not apologizing, she was just as rude to me I defended myself the end.

 

This attitude is not going to help you in life.

[MidwestUSA]

Needing to get the last word in doesn't make you any better in this situation. You both should be apologizing and move past it. Maybe another thing you need to do some introspection on.

Yep. And I just heard the bell. It's time for recess!