KatZee Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Going to a movie theater alone is kind of a creep move. I could never imagine doing that. A coffeehouse on the other hand seems the obvious choice. You pick a book, sit there and drink a coffee. Awesome. Why is this a creep move? Unless you're in the theater masturbating or just staring at other people, it's not creepy. I've gone to plenty of movies alone. That's b/c my love for horror movies isn't everyone's cup of tea. So the choice is, a) don't see the movie b/c no one wants to go with me, or b) go and enjoy the f.uck out of it, go home and call everyone a pussy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Why is this a creep move? Unless you're in the theater masturbating or just staring at other people, it's not creepy. I've gone to plenty of movies alone. That's b/c my love for horror movies isn't everyone's cup of tea. So the choice is, a) don't see the movie b/c no one wants to go with me, or b) go and enjoy the f.uck out of it, go home and call everyone a pussy. It reminds me of Donnie Darko watching a movie with Frank. I also feel like part of the theater experience is that you get to share it with friends and talk about the movie afterwards. Without that, I'd rather watch it at home. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I go to the dine theatere all the time alone. Why.... because I fu cking rock..lol Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 It reminds me of Donnie Darko watching a movie with Frank. I also feel like part of the theater experience is that you get to share it with friends and talk about the movie afterwards. Without that, I'd rather watch it at home. So what happens when you want to see a movie that no one else wants to see? Don't they have movie forums for s.hit like that? I always hate when I'm at a movie I really want to see and the a.sshat next to me doesn't stop talking. I'd RATHER go alone at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 If I go see a movie in the theater, it's because I want to see it on a BIG BIG screen, not because I want to go with my friends. We don't talk during the movie, anyway, because that'd be irritating. I've gone to see movies alone, too, and with friends, and it really doesn't matter either way. It doesn't change the actual experience for me. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 So what happens when you want to see a movie that no one else wants to see? Don't they have movie forums for s.hit like that? I always hate when I'm at a movie I really want to see and the a.sshat next to me doesn't stop talking. I'd RATHER go alone at that point. If I go see a movie in the theater, it's because I want to see it on a BIG BIG screen, not because I want to go with my friends. We don't talk during the movie, anyway, because that'd be irritating. I've gone to see movies alone, too, and with friends, and it really doesn't matter either way. It doesn't change the actual experience for me. We talk about the movie afterwards, not during. I have never had that situation occur, KatZee. I've always had a friend who wanted to watch that particular movie too. To me it does change the experience, Treasa, because the BIG BIG screen doesn't do that much for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 So why not just have friends over and watch movies at home all the time? It would save money and time. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 The deeper understanding younger people got out of Donnie Darko that I didn't until a few years ago was Donnie Darko is emo, everything done in that film is emo, and emo is their word for anything they don't like. I guess emo for some became the new ghey but more pc. It's a decent movie. Donnie Darko isn't as emo as he is frail and frustrated. Mostly frustrated with the blatant stupidity of people around him. Which is the feeling we all had as adolescents, because at that point of our lives we start to realize that adults are not necessarily smart. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 So why not just have friends over and watch movies at home all the time? It would save money and time. I do that too. But sometimes one likes to go out and drink beer a bar afterwards, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I do that too. But sometimes one likes to go out and drink beer a bar afterwards, you know. Ok, so that's your preference. I don't drink, and I wouldn't go to a bar, but I would see a movie alone if I wanted to see it and no one else didn't. I don't think one makes someone a creep and the other doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Ok, so that's your preference. I don't drink, and I wouldn't go to a bar, but I would see a movie alone if I wanted to see it and no one else didn't. I don't think one makes someone a creep and the other doesn't. Maybe not in the States. But over here, you never see someone go to the movies alone. So if you're not comfortable being alone, it would pretty much be the worst place to start. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Maybe not in the States. But over here, you never see someone go to the movies alone. So if you're not comfortable being alone, it would pretty much be the worst place to start. I'm sure there are plenty of people who go to the movies alone. You just don't notice them. Because again, it's really NOT that big of a deal where someone is going to point it out and be like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH what a loser!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 I did it! It was a really good movie too:) 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I did it! It was a really good movie too:) Very proud of you. How was it? Don't you feel so empowered now? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Good for you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Very proud of you. How was it? Don't you feel so empowered now? No one was really there, I got to pick anywhere lol and I could laugh loud if I wanted (I didn't but I could have lol) I would do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 It reminds me of Donnie Darko watching a movie with Frank. I think it would be nice of Frank and Donnie Darko to go to the movies together. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I don't know what you asked? What I asked was that in retrospect - after several days of this thread become much longer than it needed to - do you still REALLY believe your life is over? And, if it is not, what have you learned from this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 What I asked was that in retrospect - after several days of this thread become much longer than it needed to - do you still REALLY believe your life is over? And, if it is not, what have you learned from this? No my life is not over, I learned that I need hobbies beyond dating. I need therapy too 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 When you're getting to know someone, it's important to see if that someone is not going to break your heart (and that person is getting to know you and seeing if you are not going to break his/her heart), then it's really important to not get too emotionally connected until you know the person is worthy of your trust and vulnerability. It has nothing to do with a "prize to be won" but rather has to do with protecting one's heart. I agree that a sexual relationship should be sharing, or giving to each other, which is why being able to trust that person is so important. Break-ups and commitment issues don't help one trust, which is possibly why Nyla wanted to make sure he was trustworthy after the sad times they experienced. True, I'm not saying that it's not reasonable to want to guard one's heart, but honestly, if a guy wants to use you that badly, he'll figure out a way to do it in the worst way, I think. Playing intentional games and purposely playing "hard to get" may actually backfire on a girl not wanting to be hurt.. You'll only ironically attract the game players who *enjoy* conquering "challenges".. You'll turn off the guys who'd hand their heart over to you once they realize that you're on the same page as them.. The guys who aren't so hard to figure out, who'll actually want to stick by one special person. Those good guys (if they have back bones) aren't going to sit around thinking "hmm, she ignored all 3 of my texts only to text me two days later.. she totally just wants me to show her how much I truly care!" they'd most likely go with the common sense conclusion that "she just ain't that into you.." They're not going to assume that a girl who calls or texts maybe once or twice a week is particularly interested, unless they have reason to believe that there is some particularly special reason why they have absolutely no time to interact with them, assuming they WANT to.. A pretty big assumption to be making with no supporting evidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 No my life is not over, I learned that I need hobbies beyond dating. I need therapy too Good girl. Besides, dating is NOT a hobby... Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Well done on going to the movies alone. And seriously don't worry about guys yet. Just being youself is enough to attract the right guy (and there is more than one out there) The guys worth having, will come accross you in time (at work, at the library, through friends, etc). There is no need, at your age, to go out of your way to make it happen with a guy - your getting your degree, your pretty (and will be beautiful to enough guys), and you have enough going for you to just relax and work on your personality. If you were at a real disadvantage in life when sure you may need to improve yourself in order to meet the decent men, and make yourself appealing to quality men. Your only issues is: developing yourself. You look fine, you will have a professional job, so just focus on being the sort of person you want to me. ....................... Do you WANT to be a needy, clingy girl? Is this how you want guys to see you? Don't go too far the other way, and ignore guys in order to seam busy; just do not get too serious too early, and return calls at an evan rate, rather than instigate them all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Got this in my e-mail this morning. Found it to be relevant. How to Stop Being So Clingy Hi ImperfectionIsBeauty: Sabrina here and it's time for some tough love (sometimes it's the best kind of love). I'm going to stage a little inter- friendshion and say that it's time to stop being so clingy! I'm not pointing fingers; I'm not trying to place blame. I'm the girl who wants to help (I'm also a recovering stage-5 clinger myself!). While I can't answer every questions I receive (the best way to get answer is to post in the forum, btw. LINK-> anewmode.com/forum/relationship-advice), I do try to read them all. The one thing I keep seeing over and over again is girls messing up promising relationships by being too clingy! The guy shows them some sort of interest; they get super excited about it, throw caution to the wind and reach out to him whenever they feel like it, just to "see what he's up to." That's all fine and dandy, but when it becomes a habit, it turns into a problem. If try and keep tabs on him, he'll feel like you're taking his freedom away. Once that happens, there's no chance he'll want to be in a full on relationship with you. Men want to be the pursuers, it's the natural order of things. So back up and let him pursue you. And if he doesn't pursue you, it's because he doesn't want you. I know it hurts, but you'll find someone who does. Here are some things to do when the urge to check up on him strikes: Take a walk around the neighborhood- Fresh air and exercise never hurt anyone! Read Anewmode- Yup, I'm going for the shameless plug, but that doesn't mean it's not effective. Go on ANM and check out the latest Ask a Guys, or get some fashion advice, oh look, you can even learn how to dress like Rihanna! Or hop into the forum and see what relationship issues other girls are dealing with. Anything that will distract you (and keep you informed and entertained to boot!) is a good thing. Look at something silly- The internet is filled with hilarious websites that will give you a laugh. Some of my favorites are Suri's Burn Book, Damn You Auto Correct, and anything on Buzzfeed. Dating can get you really tense and anxious, so check out a site that makes you laugh to unwind and relax. Go to your passion place- It doesn't matter what your passion of choice is--writing, music, knitting, painting--go and do it. Letting yourself get enraptured in something you love is a surefire way to redirect your energy away from him. Redistribute the power when it skews too strongly to his side - If you find yourself in the obsession zone, wondering why he didn't call, how he feels about you, if he likes you, what his last text meant- stop and remind yourself that YOU are the prize that HE needs to win over. Let him obsesses about all the details; you're too cool for that nonsense. Call a friend- The urge to call him will usually strike when you're bored, so just dial someone else instead! Call a friend and go to a movie, a flea market, or a movie instead. No matter what stage of a relationship you're in, it's always important to maintain your own life. Hope this helps! Lots of love, Sabrina Alexis 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 think of it as a you who is much stronger beginning and another chapter ending. It will be a good thing. Yep!!! Life is a journey!!! ImperfectionisBeauty, you are getting stronger!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I actually go to the movies alone a lot. I even did it when I had a bf. I like weird foreign films and most people are not into them. And I like the big screen experience. And I am just a loner by nature I also go to cafes/have lunch alone. I find it relaxing. I don't think I ever got dressed up and went to a fancy dinner alone, that's a bit much even for me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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