BetheButterfly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yah, OP is being overly dramatic with her desire to be in a relationship in general. But this guy is a coward. Even if they have only been on a few dates, she deserves a clear explanation - that she is directly asking him for. I can't imagine ignoring someone like that, if they are in distress even after one date. It's cruel. Maybe he doesn't know the answers she's demanding yet... he sounds like he's not sure. Again, I don't know his mind and I could be wrong, but to me it sounds like he likes her, is busy, hasn't yet made her a priority, and is probably wondering if she's going to smother him. I think man_in_the_box's post is very important for the OP to consider and to strive to not be like that. I'm really glad his girlfriend is working on her fear and insecurity issues that motivated her to be clingy, because yeah, being clingy can scare both genders away from a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
foreverandalways Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 You're freaking over a guy you've been dating for 2-3 months. You have no life outside of him. You're TOO committed to him, and probably smothering him...which is why this is happening. You have to be able to be happy NOT in a relationship before you can be happy IN a relationship. You have to accept that a guy is not going to be overly attached the way you seem to get. And guys dont want girls that act that way. They want space and freedom. I'm sensing you gave him none. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I dunno - I think she's right. Her life probably IS poop at this point. I should know. OP - don't give up hope. The right man is out there and won't give a crap if you're needy. Some guys like that. It means you care. No This is also why women stay with guys who baat them... It means they care 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I am literally having a meltdown I want to message him so much... Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 You're going to meet someone else, eventually. The guy's an ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I just got into the biggest argument with my mom over this **** and she is like "you need to go socialize and meet people" I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do to do that like honestly. I don't have a ton of friends, I online date to meet guys like I don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm honestly so over this life, I don't care anymore like I have nothing going for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I just got into the biggest argument with my mom over this **** and she is like "you need to go socialize and meet people" I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do to do that like honestly. I don't have a ton of friends, I online date to meet guys like I don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm honestly so over this life, I don't care anymore like I have nothing going for me. Aren't you dating this guy? Just call him!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Aren't you dating this guy? Just call him!! I can't I don't want to be annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
Brunettie Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 To socialize and meet people why don't you read a book at the coffee shop, or take your laptop and go sit in a starbucks or something. Or the library. Walk around campus. Take your laptop and sit on a bench or under a tree at campus. If you're into it, go to a bar and get a drink, you might see someone worth talking to there. There are plenty of places you can go, anywhere really. Put yourself out there and you'll see. And if at the very least you don't meet someone, at least you got out of the house and did something. I know you said you don't like to go out and do things alone, but that's ok. It's ok to go to a bar alone and get a drink. There's nothing weird or wrong about that, and no one is going to think you're weird for doing so. Someone alone is more easily approachable than someone in a group. I've been following this post, I remember you said you got a dream board. Why don't you go back to Hobby Lobby and get some stuff to put on there? I don't know where you live, but is there a downtown area you could go? The weather's beginning to get nice, a lot of people are doing things out doors now. I'd suggest going there. If you have a dog, take it with you downtown or to the park. Dogs can be a good conversation starter. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I just got into the biggest argument with my mom over this **** and she is like "you need to go socialize and meet people" I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do to do that like honestly. I don't have a ton of friends, I online date to meet guys like I don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm honestly so over this life, I don't care anymore like I have nothing going for me. http://piranhakeepers.com/uploads/monthly_03_2013/post-2153-0-43535400-1363463416.jpg 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I can't I don't want to be annoying. So you rather stress the **** out? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I just got into the biggest argument with my mom over this **** and she is like "you need to go socialize and meet people" I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! I don't know where I'm supposed to go or what I'm supposed to do to do that like honestly. I don't have a ton of friends, I online date to meet guys like I don't know what I am supposed to do. I'm honestly so over this life, I don't care anymore like I have nothing going for me. Your mother is absolutely right! Go to Meetup.com right now, sign up, and start searching for groups for people in their 20s in your area. (You can actually search "20s.") Then do searches on "art," "wine," "food," "concert," "music," "movies," "science fiction," "friends," "singles," "book club," "brunch," "dinner," or whatever you can think of that might interest you. Sign up for three or four groups that are active and do things that look fun to you. See what they have planned for this week or this weekend. Then RSVP to go to something this week. Then go. Meet people and be merry and forget about this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I can't I don't want to be annoying. You're right. Just keep posting here. It's better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Better him than us... Ok you're done I honestly don't even want your opinion anymore, thanks but no thanks. You're 22 you've been married you have a boyfriend and so I don't want to talk to you... you aren't relatable, you don't get it so bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yah, OP is being overly dramatic with her desire to be in a relationship in general. But this guy is a coward. Even if they have only been on a few dates, she deserves a clear explanation - that she is directly asking him for. I can't imagine ignoring someone like that, if they are in distress even after one date. It's cruel. I think the guy is scared to tell her because he thinks she may go psycho on him or threaten to kill herself. He doesn't want the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Ok you're done I honestly don't even want your opinion anymore, thanks but no thanks. You're 22 you've been married you have a boyfriend and so I don't want to talk to you... you aren't relatable, you don't get it so bye. I don't get what? Being single? Lol Your right, maybe that's why you SHOULD want my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Damn. MissJaclynRae got OWNED. ^5 Hahaha.. who is this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 I don't get what? Being single? Lol Your right, maybe that's why you SHOULD want my opinion. I don't, not if you're going to be rude about it. You were married... and he was in the military from what I read, you had everything and you probably ruined it so no I don't want your help. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I don't, not if you're going to be rude about it. You were married... and he was in the military from what I read, you had everything and you probably ruined it so no I don't want your help. Rofl. Child logic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Rofl. Child logic. Yeah whatever, your advice is the last I would want or need. Thanks but no thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I am literally having a meltdown I want to message him so much... Here, look at this: Or, this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I have been very very careful to not be clingy with him. You have a whole thread, "My guy just got a new job," which is full of examples of clinging. Whatever you say, no one likes that. I'm not sure if that drove him away or if your initial couple of dates just didn't click for him (which is normal, by the way. Just because a person goes out with another person two or three times and they text does not mean that they are in a relationship - and certainly not that marriage and babies are right around the corner) but it's beside the point. If you're newly dating someone, and you like them, and they get a new job that's taxing on them, the best course of action would be to offer support rather than to immediately start haranguing them about how they are going to spend enough time on YOU. You really have nothing to do with their work / career choices after a couple of dates. It IS clinging, selfish, inappropriate and frankly, very unattractive for you to try to insert yourself that way. I can just imagine if I'd gone out with someone a couple of times and he DARED to start needling me about my work. I would be gone SO fast! Maybe you will learn something from this experience? Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I am literally having a meltdown I want to message him so much... You're good. You're very very good... at conveying your thoughts in times of crisis. I think that's what attracts so much help and concern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Whatever the reason for this guy's withdrawal if he were at all decent he would either make a clean break or tell the OP what needs of his aren't being met and see if they can fix the relationship. Instead he is taking the cowardly way out. I agre with this. But really, they only dated a handful of times (2 or 3 I think) over the span of 2 weeks - and that stopped 3 weeks ago. No sex. He's never seen her again. So though I agree that it would be much more upstanding for him to tell her he's not interested, I also think it's acceptable to move on after such minimal contact without explaining. Not ideal, but acceptable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 You're freaking over a guy you've been dating for 2-3 months. . 2 weeks... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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