Divasu Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I asked him if he had figured things out like he said he had to and he didn't respond. That was yesterday Well, take it from someone who went apesh*t (me) over something similar. If he calls back, deal with it then, and take it from there. It's not comforting when someone has control over your emotions. In his mind, he probably doesn't think it's urgent enough to respond to, or, in his mind he has already moved on or he is on the shelf. If he's working all those long hours, most likely he doesn't have the mental capacity to deal with it atm. Lot's of what if's. If you're someone who does not like being stuck in limbo, end the limbo. How you achieve that, is something you have to figure out on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 You have been on pins and needles about this for the last 3 days at least. He knows you're anxious about this. And yet he doesn't respond. No wonder you're losing your mind. Why are you putting up with this bull****? Is this really the kind of relationship you want? One with a man who ignored you when you're feeling vulnerable? Why are you putting up with this? Don't you deserve better treatment? I don't want to be alone, I don't want to start over. I have dated much worse lol at least he is a good person, he has never been to jail, he has no kids he hasn't beat up his ex (I'm dumb I messaged that guy again today lol) so he is perfect but he is being a doucher. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I talked to him yesterday, casual about his work and the baseball game, I asked him if he has figured out everything (he said he needed to sunday night) and he didn't respond and that's it so far. By "talk" do you mean text? IMO you need to have a conversation on the phone. Texting is no way to either establish a relationship or to resolve anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I don't want to be alone, I don't want to start over. I have dated much worse lol at least he is a good person, he has never been to jail, he has no kids he hasn't beat up his ex (I'm dumb I messaged that guy again today lol) so he is perfect but he is being a doucher. Lol? In the middle of all this you try to reconnect with an abusive criminal? Do you have any idea why it's a challenge to take you seriously? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 [*]he has never been to jail , he has no kids he hasn't beat up his ex Do you realize how many guys out there fit those criteria? Especially at the age of 22? In fact, all but two of the (countless) guys I ever dated fit that criteria (two had kids, those are more recent). So basically, I'll take it to mean you don't feel you can do better than be in a relationship where you're ignored. Why couldn't you do better than this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Lol? In the middle of all this you try to reconnect with an abusive criminal? Do you have any idea why it's a challenge to take you seriously? Ok but he has a son thats like 9 so he has obviously changed his life and he didn't even seem interested in me. It was his birthday, I was just nice and wished him happy birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 How old are you? 22 years old ;D Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I don't want to be alone, I don't want to start over. I have dated much worse lol at least he is a good person, he has never been to jail, he has no kids he hasn't beat up his ex (I'm dumb I messaged that guy again today lol) so he is perfect but he is being a doucher. What a winner!!! Don't you DARE let him get away. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 May you post the texts that where exchanged recently? Before you mentioned anything ... was contact good? Was he the one contacting you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 [*]he has never been to jail , he has no kids he hasn't beat up his ex Do you realize how many guys out there fit those criteria? Especially at the age of 22? In fact, all but two of the (countless) guys I ever dated fit that criteria (two had kids, those are more recent). So basically, I'll take it to mean you don't feel you can do better than be in a relationship where you're ignored. Why couldn't you do better than this? Before I met this guy I was texting a guy for a super short time who was like "I can't date you because..." and that really hurt my feelings, that has been a constant thing and I finally met someone who accepts me no matter what and I can't do better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 May you post the texts that where exchanged recently? Before you mentioned anything ... was contact good? Was he the one contacting you? Everyday we alternated who texted first and yeah it was good he called me 'babe" and we just talked about dumb stuff like his work and baseball. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Ok but he has a son thats like 9 so he has obviously changed his life and he didn't even seem interested in me Um … a fellow can do what is necessary to father a child and still be an abusive criminal. Seriously. It does not prove that he's changed his life; it proves that he's had unprotected sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Everyday we alternated who texted first and yeah it was good he called me 'babe" and we just talked about dumb stuff like his work and baseball. May you post the texts please? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Um … a fellow can do what is necessary to father a child and still be an abusive criminal. Seriously. It does not prove that he's changed his life; it proves that he's had unprotected sex. I don't know, he was nice to me at one point, he seemed like he wanted a GF too so I was like whatever might as well try Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Before I met this guy I was texting a guy for a super short time who was like "I can't date you because..." and that really hurt my feelings, that has been a constant thing and I finally met someone who accepts me no matter what and I can't do better than that. Does he really? How so? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 May you post the texts please? These are from Sat Me: Hey Him: Heya Me: Hows work? Him: They told me not to come in this morning because they knew how sick I am. Him: So I've been sleeping all day Me: Wow you're first day off! Do you feel any better? Him: No I'm really bad. I can't drink, eat, stand, and some other things too I'm sure. Me:Eat popcicles they help honestly, anything to numb you up. Him: Yeah I'm thinkin that's not a bad idea. Me: Lol duh Me: So are you here or back home? Him: Sorry babe I fell asleep, I am here now but I am about to drive back so it won't be a far drive in the morning. After that I sent the long text and didn't get a response until Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Does he really? How so? He doesn't care about me having CP, he said he respects how I have handled my adversity (that was what he said after our first date). It isn't easy to find someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 These are from Sat Me: Hey Him: Heya Me: Hows work? Him: They told me not to come in this morning because they knew how sick I am. Him: So I've been sleeping all day Me: Wow you're first day off! Do you feel any better? Him: No I'm really bad. I can't drink, eat, stand, and some other things too I'm sure. Me:Eat popcicles they help honestly, anything to numb you up. Him: Yeah I'm thinkin that's not a bad idea. Me: Lol duh Me: So are you here or back home? Him: Sorry babe I fell asleep, I am here now but I am about to drive back so it won't be a far drive in the morning. After that I sent the long text and didn't get a response until Sunday. How sure are you that he doesn't have a girlfriend? We can't be too sure, story of my life. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Um … a fellow can do what is necessary to father a child and still be an abusive criminal. Seriously. It does not prove that he's changed his life; it proves that he's had unprotected sex. I just wanted some attention from someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 How sure are you that he doesn't have a girlfriend? We can't be too sure, story of my life. lol I am pretty sure he doesn't... I mean at this point anything is possible but I don't think he does. I'm going to call him tomorrow to figure it all out. I am so scared. Should I call after my class? At 7? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 He doesn't care about me having CP, he said he respects how I have handled my adversity (that was what he said after our first date). It isn't easy to find someone like that. CP? You have cerebral palsy? Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I am pretty sure he doesn't... I mean at this point anything is possible but I don't think he does. I'm going to call him tomorrow to figure it all out. I am so scared. Should I call after my class? At 7? Get it over with. Call him now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted April 10, 2013 Author Share Posted April 10, 2013 Get it over with. Call him now. I can't I'm too scared and I'm at home I need privacy, I will do it in my car. What if he doesn't answer or doesn't call back, I don't even know what to say Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 He doesn't care about me having CP, he said he respects how I have handled my adversity (that was what he said after our first date). It isn't easy to find someone like that. CP, as in Cerebral Palsy? I didn't know this. I don't know much about CP, but it doesn't seem to be holding you back from attracting men. The biggest challenge you seem to have is building a strong relationship with a man. And that has little to do with CP. It's possible that because of CP, you've always thought you were in a desperate situation. But CP does not in fact mean you should approach relationships as though you'd be lucky to settle for anything. I'm glad you're going to therapy because I'm sure a trained therapist can help you deal with some of the negative feelings you seem to have about yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 I can't I'm too scared and I'm at home I need privacy, I will do it in my car. What if he doesn't answer or doesn't call back, I don't even know what to say If he doesn't answer or call back, than you'll be exactly where you are now. Link to post Share on other sites
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