My life is over.. I think I am getting dumped.

[SmileFace]

If he doesn't answer or call back, than you'll be exactly where you are now.

Exactly.

 

Or she would know what a waste of time he is.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

CP, as in Cerebral Palsy? I didn't know this.

 

I don't know much about CP, but it doesn't seem to be holding you back from attracting men.

 

The biggest challenge you seem to have is building a strong relationship with a man. And that has little to do with CP.

 

It's possible that because of CP, you've always thought you were in a desperate situation. But CP does not in fact mean you should approach relationships as though you'd be lucky to settle for anything.

 

I'm glad you're going to therapy because I'm sure a trained therapist can help you deal with some of the negative feelings you seem to have about yourself.

 

I just can't handle the constant rejection and I worry about my timeline so much because I could be wheelchair bound 10 years from now and then who will want me? I mean as if a cane isn't bad enough being in a wheel chair? I might at well just buy 50 cats.

[SmileFace]

I just can't handle the constant rejection and I worry about my timeline so much because I could be wheelchair bound 10 years from now and then who will want me? I mean as if a cane isn't bad enough being in a wheel chair? I might at well just buy 50 cats.

Sigh. Most of us can't even begin to understand.

I really hope you have a good therapist.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Sigh. Most of us can't even begin to understand.

I really hope you have a good therapist.

 

Are you making fun? Lol I know it is ridiculous to worry about but still. I am trying a new therapist she seems nice.

[Keenly]

Read the entire thread people.

 

Don't start halfway and develop the wrong opinions now.

[Kamille]

I just can't handle the constant rejection and I worry about my timeline so much because I could be wheelchair bound 10 years from now and then who will want me? I mean as if a cane isn't bad enough being in a wheel chair? I might at well just buy 50 cats.

 

I now understand your sense of urgency better.

 

But I think you can learn to handle dating better. You're letting the sense of urgency make you act out of fear. It's making you hang on to a situation that isn't worth your while. It's making you approach dating with all-or-nothing thinking. It's leading you astray, and doing way more harm than good.

 

You can learn to date better, so that you find it less painful and so that you learn how to pick a good partner and how to build a strong relationship.That's what's urgent.

 

The fact is, you are going to need a man who is unique, strong and loving. That means you have to be more discriminating - not less. Let them convince you they are worth your time.

[SmileFace]

Are you making fun? Lol I know it is ridiculous to worry about but still. I am trying a new therapist she seems nice.

No. I was being dead serious.

I don't think it is ridiculous.

It makes tons of sense and I think your CP is the reason for your whole attitude truthfully. I also think that your parents may have sheltered you as well due to your CP- which is why you seem to be more immature and entitled than most - however that isn't for me to say.

 

Half of us can't understand you need for urgency. I can get the jist of it but it isn't a battle I have dealt with. I would wish that you would slow down and put the CP to the side and focus on a good life as a whole but like I said I can't understand.

[Kamille]

Read the entire thread people.

 

Don't start halfway and develop the wrong opinions now.

 

I don't know who this was meant for but I think it's somewhat unrealistic to expect posters to keep up with 38 pages of thread.

 

I've kept up with most of the thread though I admit, not all. If CP was mentioned earlier, my apologies. I still think I can contribute to the thread - and, certainly, finding out about this has helped me empathize with IIB.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Wait... So ten dates, less than 2 months and you are acting like this?

 

 

 

 

 

Not trying to minimize it, but I have to point out that if you over dramatized your time together ( which was meager) I can only imagine what else you have falsified....

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Wait... So ten dates, less than 2 months and you are acting like this?

 

 

 

 

 

Not trying to minimize it, but I have to point out that if you over dramatized your time together ( which was meager) I can only imagine what else you have falsified....

 

Its all true. You don't have to believe it but it is what it is.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I worry about my timeline so much because I could be wheelchair bound 10 years from now and then who will want me? .

 

I don't believe that CP is progressive; your concerns of ending up wheelchair bound in 10 years are probably unfounded.

 

I think you're brave with regards to having CP. But, I have the feeling that you might not be dealing with it fully on an emotional level. For example, feeling like you're just lucky if any guy will accept you, regardless of what he is bringing.

 

Of course you need someone who accepts everything about you, including CP and walking with a cane. You get to decide what is acceptable to you as well.

 

Any guy who'll take you is NOT acceptable.

 

Also, I understand that you sincerely want to be in a relationship - but to be "cute" and to make babies immediately is a very very bad starting point.

[tuxedo cat]

I agre with this. But really, they only dated a handful of times (2 or 3 I think) over the span of 2 weeks - and that stopped 3 weeks ago. No sex. He's never seen her again. So though I agree that it would be much more upstanding for him to tell her he's not interested, I also think it's acceptable to move on after such minimal contact without explaining. Not ideal, but acceptable.

 

Oh, weird. I assumed they were in a relationship.

[tbf]

CP is non-progressive.

[tuxedo cat]

OP, what was the last text you sent him and did he respond? It sounds to me like it's over but if you want some closure I don't see the harm in sending him a last text asking if he wants to continue seeing you and telling him if you don't get a response soon you'll assume it's over and cut all contact. After three weeks of not seeing him that is reasonable. Ideally you would just move on without needing a response but given your state of anxiety this might help speed up the process.

Edited April 10, 2013 by tuxedo cat

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I don't believe that CP is progressive; your concerns of ending up wheelchair bound in 10 years are probably unfounded.

 

I think you're brave with regards to having CP. But, I have the feeling that you might not be dealing with it fully on an emotional level. For example, feeling like you're just lucky if any guy will accept you, regardless of what he is bringing.

 

Of course you need someone who accepts everything about you, including CP and walking with a cane. You get to decide what is acceptable to you as well.

 

Any guy who'll take you is NOT acceptable.

 

Also, I understand that you sincerely want to be in a relationship - but to be "cute" and to make babies immediately is a very very bad starting point.

 

I hyperextend my knees when I walk, it's called "popping back" and so while the CP overall doesn't get worse popping back will probably eventually do major damage to my legs. It is my fault kind of because I have leg braces that I am supposed to wear but they are thick and super visible and I don't want to wear them (as if dating isn't hard enough)

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

CP is non-progressive.

 

Depends on the person, mine doesn't get worse but it does effect other stuff.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

OP, what was the last text you sent him and did he respond? It sounds to me like it's over but if you want some closure I don't see the harm in sending him a last text asking if he wants to continue seeing you and telling him if you don't get a response soon you'll assume it's over and cut all contact. After three weeks of not seeing him that is reasonable. Ideally you would just move on without needing a response but given your state of anxiety this might help speed up the process.

 

Last text said: sooo we you said you had some things you needed to figure out, did you? Lol don't leave a girl in suspense haha?

[tuxedo cat]

These are from Sat

 

Me: Hey

Him: Heya

Me: Hows work?

Him: They told me not to come in this morning because they knew how sick I am.

Him: So I've been sleeping all day

Me: Wow you're first day off! Do you feel any better?

Him: No I'm really bad. I can't drink, eat, stand, and some other things too I'm sure.

Me:Eat popcicles they help honestly, anything to numb you up.

Him: Yeah I'm thinkin that's not a bad idea.

Me: Lol duh

Me: So are you here or back home?

Him: Sorry babe I fell asleep, I am here now but I am about to drive back so it won't be a far drive in the morning.

 

After that I sent the long text and didn't get a response until Sunday.

 

Notice how he spends the whole conversation whining about himself and doesn't ask once how you're doing.

[SmileFace]

Last text said: sooo we you said you had some things you needed to figure out, did you? Lol don't leave a girl in suspense haha?

I wouldn't even reply to this text

 

The guy I was talking to sent me a text that said "I guess you aren't talking to me anymore?"

 

 

You know what I replied ... I didn't.

 

Get with the picture hun.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Notice how he spends the whole conversation whining about himself and doesn't ask once how you're doing.

 

Aww he had strep though. I always feel like I talk about myself a ton to him so I didn't think of it.

[tbf]

I hyperextend my knees when I walk, it's called "popping back" and so while the CP overall doesn't get worse popping back will probably eventually do major damage to my legs. It is my fault kind of because I have leg braces that I am supposed to wear but they are thick and super visible and I don't want to wear them (as if dating isn't hard enough)

 

Depends on the person, mine doesn't get worse but it does effect other stuff.

Like not wearing your leg braces? Think things through. That you're willing to damage your mobility long-term, for the sake of short-term vanity, isn't smart thinking.

 

Clown porn?

Cerebral palsy. No laughing matter.

 

Last text said: sooo we you said you had some things you needed to figure out, did you? Lol don't leave a girl in suspense haha?

So the two of you have communicated since April 6th, the date of the opening post?

[tuxedo cat]

Last text said: sooo we you said you had some things you needed to figure out, did you? Lol don't leave a girl in suspense haha?

 

I think you need to be more direct. What you wrote sounds really insecure.

 

Just write: "[insert douchebag's name], I need to know where we stand. It's been three weeks since we've seen each other. I would like to continue seeing you, but if you don't feel the same way let me know so I can move on. If I don't get a response soon, I will assume that it's over."

 

I wouldn't call him because I doubt he will answer. He sounds cowardly so he will be more likely to respond to a text.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Like not wearing your leg braces? Think things through. That you're willing to damage your mobility long-term, for the sake of short-term vanity, isn't smart thinking.

 

Cerebral palsy. No laughing matter.

 

So the two of you have communicated since April 6th, the date of the opening post?

 

Yes we talked yesterday (I said that)

 

I know I should wear the braces but you be 22 and have a hard time dating and then tell me you would wear them, as if I don't get enough stares or enough guys turning me down.. would you date the girl hobbling around with leg braces and a cane.. I doubt it.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I think you need to be more direct. What you wrote sounds really insecure.

 

Just write: "[insert douchebag's name], I need to know where we stand. It's been three weeks since we've seen each other. I would like to continue seeing you, but if you don't feel the same way let me know so I can move on. If I don't get a response soon, I will assume that it's over."

 

I wouldn't call him because I doubt he will answer. He sounds cowardly so he will be more likely to respond to a text.

Ok tomorrow? I am so scared if he doesn't reply I'm like omg.

[tuxedo cat]

Ok tomorrow? I am so scared if he doesn't reply I'm like omg.

 

Just send it now and get it over with.