My life is over.. I think I am getting dumped.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't know I wish I could just fast forward and like know whats gonna happen because I am tired of stressing. I just wanna fast forward my life until I'm married with a baby

 

I've said it before, and I will say it again now: Until this attitude is banished, you are not ready to be anyone's wife and definitely not mother. It would probably be a literal tragedy. As SF said above, you don't even seem emotionally ready to handle basic dating.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I've said it before, and I will say it again now: Until this attitude is banished, you are not ready to be anyone's wife and definitely not mother. It would probably be a literal tragedy. As SF said above, you don't even seem emotionally ready to handle basic dating.

 

How long do I have to wait though? I mean ok say I go back to therapy then what how long is it going to take? I don't have forever and a day. Honestly I have like 3 years then I would like to start having babies. I just don't know anything, i have no idea what is going on. I graduate in a month and 4 days and I have no clue what I am doing after. I expect this relationship to work, I was going to stay around here and go to school close so I could be with him now idk if I want to stay or go, I don't know if I go that I will be able to make friends because I have no idea how to, I can't focus on any of my class work, I have 3 papers due tomorrow and tuesday and haven't started one, I am just like blah I just am so angry because I got so involved and I care about him so much. It sounds insane to you but I don't have anything right now, and the thing is I knew this would happen, I knew it because I know that I am not the type of girl to just get lucky and meet someone perfect and it to work out, it is always something with me, nothing good works out for me so I should have known.

 

As far as the random sex... I don't want to but I know that I haven't had sex in 7 months and if I don't find someone soon then what?

[SmileFace]

How long do I have to wait though? I mean ok say I go back to therapy then what how long is it going to take? I don't have forever and a day. Honestly I have like 3 years then I would like to start having babies. I just don't know anything, i have no idea what is going on. I graduate in a month and 4 days and I have no clue what I am doing after. I expect this relationship to work, I was going to stay around here and go to school close so I could be with him now idk if I want to stay or go, I don't know if I go that I will be able to make friends because I have no idea how to, I can't focus on any of my class work, I have 3 papers due tomorrow and tuesday and haven't started one, I am just like blah I just am so angry because I got so involved and I care about him so much. It sounds insane to you but I don't have anything right now, and the thing is I knew this would happen, I knew it because I know that I am not the type of girl to just get lucky and meet someone perfect and it to work out, it is always something with me, nothing good works out for me so I should have known.

 

As far as the random sex... I don't want to but I know that I haven't had sex in 7 months and if I don't find someone soon then what?

 

Stop dating please.

 

You will never end up in a healthy relationship with this mind set.

 

You knew dude for a month and planned to stay in your state for him - when you want to move?

 

Plan you life for a relationship -- don't plan your life around a relationship.

 

I am sorry - we are the same age so I get the idea of wanting a family and yadda yadda yadda but your want for this isn't healthy and I can't imagine how it comes across in real life.

 

I am sorry but if you can't be happy alone - you won't be happy in a relationship. I really don't care what others say.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Learn how to control yourself. Random sex (when you think it's "gross"), clinging on men, desperation when you don't get what you want right this minute, lashing out hatefully when things aren't going your way or people disagree with you (like you do here on LS) - does not bode well for your future.

 

Do you have any actual awareness of other people and what their lives are like, or are you really the only one in your world? Serious question. And the person you end up in a relationship is a sentient being with feelings, stresses, reactions, a personality, a life of his own - not just the cypher you are looking for to fill you need to BE MARRIED and HAVE BABIES. The BABIES will be people too.

 

Life infrequently bestows what we think we want or need, especially in our own time frame.

 

You're always going on righteously about your Christianity - is this not a tenant of it?

 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

 

Etc.

 

Learn how to live your life, whether you are getting what you want right this minute or not.

 

Are you even open to entertaining this notion? Or are you still going to go on and on about what you think you want and need right this minute or you're gonna die? Frankly, that is not an adult or even post-pubescent attitude. If you don't want to explore outside a childish way of looking at life, there really is not a point to talking to you like an adult to another adult. That would require you to take on the role … of an adult.

Edited April 7, 2013 by Mme. Chaucer

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Learn how to control yourself. Random sex (when you think it's "gross"), clinging on men, desperation when you don't get what you want right this minute, lashing out hatefully when things aren't going your way or people disagree with you (like you do here on LS) - does not bode well for your future.

 

Do you have any actual awareness of other people and what their lives are like, or are you really the only one in your world? Serious question. And the person you end up in a relationship is a sentient being with feelings, stresses, reactions, a personality, a life of his own - not just the cypher you are looking for to fill you need to BE MARRIED and HAVE BABIES. The BABIES will be people too.

 

Life infrequently bestows what we think we want or need, especially in our own time frame.

 

You're always going on righteously about your Christianity - is this not a tenant of it?

 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

 

Etc.

 

Learn how to live your life, whether you are getting what you want right this minute or not.

 

Are you even open to entertaining this notion? Or are you still going to go on and on about what you think you want and need right this minute or you're gonna die? Frankly, that is not an adult or even post-pubescent attitude. If you don't want to explore outside a childish way of looking at life, there really is not a point to talking to you like an adult to another adult. That would require you to take on the role … of an adult.

 

It's kind of hard to trust in The Lord when he hasn't like some a lot to show me that I should trust him. Every good thing he brings into my life he takes away so... Anyways I definitely want to try to have a better life, I want to do anything I have to so I can meet someone and get married and have babies so if that means making more friends, getting a job, etc. I will do anything. As far as my life and world... Idk I mean I don't think in depth about what people go through the guy I was/am talking to told me a really sad story about his life and I did think about him and his life but for the most part I don't think of each day to day for other people just me.

[Radu]

How long do I have to wait though? I mean ok say I go back to therapy then what how long is it going to take? I don't have forever and a day. Honestly I have like 3 years then I would like to start having babies. I just don't know anything, i have no idea what is going on. I graduate in a month and 4 days and I have no clue what I am doing after. I expect this relationship to work, I was going to stay around here and go to school close so I could be with him now idk if I want to stay or go, I don't know if I go that I will be able to make friends because I have no idea how to, I can't focus on any of my class work, I have 3 papers due tomorrow and tuesday and haven't started one, I am just like blah I just am so angry because I got so involved and I care about him so much. It sounds insane to you but I don't have anything right now, and the thing is I knew this would happen, I knew it because I know that I am not the type of girl to just get lucky and meet someone perfect and it to work out, it is always something with me, nothing good works out for me so I should have known.

 

As far as the random sex... I don't want to but I know that I haven't had sex in 7 months and if I don't find someone soon then what?

 

However long it takes.

 

There was a thread in the sex section a while back where ppl posted on abstinence and how it affects you.

Most found that the initial 1-3 months of no sex were the hardest, afterwards it got easier.

 

Personally, 2.5yrs ago i decided to make some chages [unrelated to the above].

Only in the last 6-7 months have i started seriously working on myself, increasing my emotional intelligence [impulse control ...] and social intelligence.

I do not have a therapist and it's a work in progress.

 

With a therapist you will most likely go faster.

All i can say is that it is very rewarding to see benefits.

[apple OR orange]

reason 1 to not put yourself in that position, stop dating, pay for sex, you dont have these problems

[snowflakes88]

You are nowhere NEAR emotionally mature enough to be someone's wife - let alone someone's MOTHER. That should be the last thing on your mind until you are able to get yourself together.

 

Everything is not a reason to obsess. I'm 30. I'm single. I don't have kids. Does it suck sometimes? Yes. Does it make me want to throw myself off a cliff or feel I have nothing to live for? NO. Because I have other things going on. I focused on college, then law school, then excelling in my career. I spend time with my friends. I spend time with my family. I develop my own interests and hobbies. And yes, I date. I've been dating a guy for a couple of months now and I really like him. But he isn't the center of my universe. He is an added bonus to a life I already feel is pretty great. And I haven't had sex in 16 months. I won't, until I'm ready. If he isn't the one, my life won't be over. Somebody else will be the one. You have GOT to get a life of your own. You will repel any emotionally healthy guy until you do.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

You are nowhere NEAR emotionally mature enough to be someone's wife - let alone someone's MOTHER. That should be the last thing on your mind until you are able to get yourself together.

 

Everything is not a reason to obsess. I'm 30. I'm single. I don't have kids. Does it suck sometimes? Yes. Does it make me want to throw myself off a cliff or feel I have nothing to live for? NO. Because I have other things going on. I focused on college, then law school, then excelling in my career. I spend time with my friends. I spend time with my family. I develop my own interests and hobbies. And yes, I date. I've been dating a guy for a couple of months now and I really like him. But he isn't the center of my universe. He is an added bonus to a life I already feel is pretty great. And I haven't had sex in 16 months. I won't, until I'm ready. If he isn't the one, my life won't be over. Somebody else will be the one. You have GOT to get a life of your own. You will repel any emotionally healthy guy until you do.

Don't you worry though? I mean do you want kids? Not that you can't have them but like don't you worry about when you'll meet someone decent and like start a family?

[snowflakes88]

Don't you worry though? I mean do you want kids? Not that you can't have them but like don't you worry about when you'll meet someone decent and like start a family?

 

Yes, I want a family. And yes, I think about it. I can be 100% honest and say that sometimes I worry about it and get down on myself about it. But I can honestly, truly say that I would rather wait for God to send me the right person than to be with the wrong person just for the sake of saying I have a husband. If you think being dumped after 2 months would make you want to end your life, imagine how hard it would be to marry the first person who'll marry you and then end up divorced down the line because they weren't the right person. I had a long-term boyfriend in college who proposed to me. I could have been married by now with a couple of kids if I'd wanted to. But I knew in my heart he wasn't the right person, and I don't regret my decision one bit. I have no doubt we'd probably be very unhappy, if not divorced.

 

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your bf, but you strike me as the type of person who would be with almost anyone who was willing to commit to you, just to say you're in a relationship. When you're more focused on being with someone or having a family than you are on WHO you're with or WHO you're building that family with, you set yourself up for inevitable failure.

[bentnotbroken]

I've said it before, and I will say it again now: Until this attitude is banished, you are not ready to be anyone's wife and definitely not mother. It would probably be a literal tragedy. As SF said above, you don't even seem emotionally ready to handle basic dating.

 

 

As a mother...the traits you display through your posts are the type that I warn my children about and pray they never partner with. That personality type is life force/soul draining. No one person can be the "battery" to jump start someone else's goals and dreams...especially those that have been placed so high on the shelf of fantasy reality can't even find them. It is frightening to be with someone like that.

[SmileFace]

As a mother...the traits you display through your posts are the type that I warn my children about and pray they never partner with. That personality type is life force/soul draining. No one person can be the "battery" to jump start someone else's goals and dreams...especially those that have been placed so high on the shelf of fantasy reality can't even find them. It is frightening to be with someone like that.

Wait...you are talking about the traits Imp displays.... correct?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

As a mother...the traits you display through your posts are the type that I warn my children about and pray they never partner with. That personality type is life force/soul draining. No one person can be the "battery" to jump start someone else's goals and dreams...especially those that have been placed so high on the shelf of fantasy reality can't even find them. It is frightening to be with someone like that.

 

I don't think it is unrealistic to get married and have a family, I have seen some of the most idiotic people get that. I may not be perfect and you might question my common sense but I have seen people way worse off than me who have husbands and kids. I am not saying that is right or I should have it because they do but I am just saying it isn't a far-fetched goal you know? I feel like if I was just in a normal happy relationship I would be fine. I was perfectly fine before he got this job, literally happiest I have ever been, I was nice to people and I didn't complain all the time and I was just having a great life. Now... I am not having a great life lol I am having a poop life

[bentnotbroken]

Wait...you are talking about the traits Imp displays.... correct?

Oh My.....Yes. I'm sorry Mmc. Chaucer.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's kind of hard to trust in The Lord when he hasn't like some a lot to show me that I should trust him. Every good thing he brings into my life he takes away so...

 

So … basically, Christianity for you means that you're sort of a customer and The Lord is the service provider? And he's failing at delivering to you what you want and what you feel entitled to have?

 

Yikes.

[SmileFace]

Maybe it is time to take a dump. :/

I can't explain how hard I laughed at this.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Oh My.....Yes. I'm sorry Mmc. Chaucer.

 

Wahhh, I thought you liked me, and would be happy to have me as the mother of your children … no … wait …

[Treasa]

What's sad is that, because you don't have your priorities straight, you're going to lose this guy AND maybe fail your classes. What a waste of time and money. You won't really be happy or calm until you start putting yourself first.

[jma500]

You are just upset right now. Rationally, you know that this guy is not the only guy on the planet that you would be compatible with. You need to calm down until you know what is really going on before you end up in the Bell Jar.

 

Nice Plath reference.

[KatZee]

The Lord helps those who help themselves.

 

You kind of just talk in circles about how you want to be married with babies, yet you do NOTHING to better your own life. You throw the word "expect" around a lot which is not a good thing to do.

 

How could you sit here and say "I expect me and my bf to work out, he's the one I'm going to marry and have babies with" ?? You barely know him! And what you're showing him is that you're loony tunes and the only way he's going is AWAY from you.

 

Never "expect" anything, and you won't be disappointed.

 

The last thing you need right now is to be a wife and mother. A few people have already said this. Until you get yourself together you should not even be thinking of these things. I'm not quite sure why you're freaking out that you're life is over. I'm 28 single, no kids. As is many of my friends. Some of them well into their 30's. Single, no kids. It's not a death sentence. I know a woman who's 42 and is pregnant with her first child. She and her family are so beyond ecstatic.

 

Those things will come to you, when you're ready. Believe me. There are lessons you need to learn, there are things you need to go through, and there are tests you MUST pass before you're ready for a husband and child. Until you face those things, you're going to make the same mistakes, chase away every man, and you're going to continue to sit around scratching your head in confusion as to why "everything good is taken from you." No one took anything from you. Your actions are repulsive. It is YOU who pushes people away.

 

And you haven't had sex in 7 months. What exactly is the point here? Is your vagina going to rot and shrivel off? I haven't had sex in 11 months and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

 

Unless you want to wind up being 45 and single, you really need to address your own issues. Get back into therapy. The sooner you start taking a look at yourself, and directing your focus, and priority onto yourself and how you can better yourself, you'll never have what you really want down the line.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

So … basically, Christianity for you means that you're sort of a customer and The Lord is the service provider? And he's failing at delivering to you what you want and what you feel entitled to have?

 

Yikes.

 

No but the Bible says ask and you shall recieve.. I asked a lot I received then it was taken away brutally.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

What's sad is that, because you don't have your priorities straight, you're going to lose this guy AND maybe fail your classes. What a waste of time and money. You won't really be happy or calm until you start putting yourself first.

 

I finished my class work I did 2 papers and I have 2 tomorrow morning to do and a few chapters to read. I know I can't function when I'm sad lol

[ThatJustHappened]

The Lord helps those who help themselves.

 

You kind of just talk in circles about how you want to be married with babies, yet you do NOTHING to better your own life. You throw the word "expect" around a lot which is not a good thing to do.

 

How could you sit here and say "I expect me and my bf to work out, he's the one I'm going to marry and have babies with" ?? You barely know him! And what you're showing him is that you're loony tunes and the only way he's going is AWAY from you.

 

Never "expect" anything, and you won't be disappointed.

 

The last thing you need right now is to be a wife and mother. A few people have already said this. Until you get yourself together you should not even be thinking of these things. I'm not quite sure why you're freaking out that you're life is over. I'm 28 single, no kids. As is many of my friends. Some of them well into their 30's. Single, no kids. It's not a death sentence. I know a woman who's 42 and is pregnant with her first child. She and her family are so beyond ecstatic.

 

Those things will come to you, when you're ready. Believe me. There are lessons you need to learn, there are things you need to go through, and there are tests you MUST pass before you're ready for a husband and child. Until you face those things, you're going to make the same mistakes, chase away every man, and you're going to continue to sit around scratching your head in confusion as to why "everything good is taken from you." No one took anything from you. Your actions are repulsive. It is YOU who pushes people away.

 

And you haven't had sex in 7 months. What exactly is the point here? Is your vagina going to rot and shrivel off? I haven't had sex in 11 months and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

 

Unless you want to wind up being 45 and single, you really need to address your own issues. Get back into therapy. The sooner you start taking a look at yourself, and directing your focus, and priority onto yourself and how you can better yourself, you'll never have what you really want down the line.

 

Mine writes screenplays in her spare time. I'm thinking of becoming celibate and having her write a sequel to the Twilight series.

[dreamingoftigers]

No but the Bible says ask and you shall recieve.. I asked a lot I received then it was taken away brutally.

 

Wouldn't that be the "giveth and taketh away" bit?

 

Plus all throughout the bible people asked and worked toward their goals in general, following God wholeheartedly (and some not so wholeheartedly).

 

Job sure didn't luck out for quite some time there, he kept with his faith despite the searing pain he was in and THEN he was blessed.

 

Jacob worked his butt off seven years to marry Rachel, and then he had to work an additional seven more for her because he was tricked into marrying Leah first.

 

He didn't say, "I'll make everything super-duper-easy for you day in and out."

[Mme. Chaucer]

No but the Bible says ask and you shall recieve.. I asked a lot I received then it was taken away brutally.

 

If you're talking about having "received" this guy - you had your first date with him around 2/17. You haven't seen him for 3 weeks. If I can count, that means that you did see him over the span of about 2 weeks, right?

 

That is barely getting started dating, IB. It's not a boyfriend / girlfriend thing. You've gone overboard.

 

Regarding The Lord. You are taking "ask and you shall receive" very literally and wrongly. Praying to your deity is not supposed to be like ordering at Burger King.