neveragain34 Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Wanted to update/vent to those of you that know about my past A with a full blown narcissist...Since the "back surgery/can I have a ride? (even though I wished death upon you a couple of months ago)" text, he has continued to text here and there. Lately they have become more and more frequent and "nice". He is telling me that they are signing the last set of divorce papers this week and that he misses me and wants to see me. Of course I said no, but I must admit its hard to ignore the latest messages, as my other relationship ended recently (new guy is moving to another city for work) and I'm feeling down. Don't worry though; I won't cave! I've developed the following list of possible reasons behind his recent behavior to help me continue to stay strong! 1. He's just horny and wants sex from me. 2. He's not really getting a divorce. His wife took him back and he thinks that by telling me he's getting divorced, I'll get back with him. 3. He has an evil revenge plot up his sleeve and this is just part of his plan to get back at me. 4. He finally got an STD from sleeping around and wants to give it to me. 5. He probably had a new girlfriend feeding his narcissistic supply, and she dumped him after finding out he was married. He now needs more supply. Feel free to add to my list. Link to post Share on other sites
wisernow Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Why do you even allow him any avenue to contact you? Sounds like the door is still opened a crack, and he knows it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 Why do you even allow him any avenue to contact you? Sounds like the door is still opened a crack, and he knows it. I've deleted my email account and blocked his number. However, iMessages still go through in place of texts and you can't block those. I see what you mean though; I shouldn't even be responding "no" to him. I think part of me likes having this control over him now instead of it being the other around, but I know that's not good for me either. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 Wanted to update/vent to those of you that know about my past A with a full blown narcissist...Since the "back surgery/can I have a ride? (even though I wished death upon you a couple of months ago)" text, he has continued to text here and there. Lately they have become more and more frequent and "nice". He is telling me that they are signing the last set of divorce papers this week and that he misses me and wants to see me. Of course I said no, but I must admit its hard to ignore the latest messages, as my other relationship ended recently (new guy is moving to another city for work) and I'm feeling down. I'm so glad I woke up, got hungry at 3am, had a bowl of cereal with banana and now can't sleep, now I can answer your post! First off, it is time for you to change your cell number. You cannot believe a word out of his mouth, you know he's trying to manipulate you. That's what narcissists do and they're really good at pouring on the charm and lovey words to get what they want. Don't worry though; I won't cave! I've developed the following list of possible reasons behind his recent behavior to help me continue to stay strong! 1. He's just horny and wants sex from me. 2. He's not really getting a divorce. His wife took him back and he thinks that by telling me he's getting divorced, I'll get back with him. 3. He has an evil revenge plot up his sleeve and this is just part of his plan to get back at me. 4. He finally got an STD from sleeping around and wants to give it to me. 5. He probably had a new girlfriend feeding his narcissistic supply, and she dumped him after finding out he was married. He now needs more supply. Feel free to add to my list. He wants attention, likes to know/wants to know you're still into him, even after all the awful things he's done and said to you. EGO FEED. It means nothing to him on an emotional level. He lies, he cheats, he's a f'ing a-hole user NOT worthy of any of your time or effort. He is playing a game and is waiting for you to 'cave'. He thinks he can push your buttons, say whatever and you'll fall back into his arms. You aren't in love with him. How he makes you feel is based on his mind f..ck and his 'fake' words of manipulation. He is fantasy, someone who doesn't exist (the guy you had the A with and fell for at the beginning never existed.) You know he is NOT the man for you, let alone one who can fully love, deeply care and give honesty and respect. Be strong and do not cave. Change your cell number, otherwise you'll be dealing with him and his texts for a long time to come. Cut him out of your life once and for all and don't feel guilty about it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 I've deleted my email account and blocked his number. However, iMessages still go through in place of texts and you can't block those. I see what you mean though; I shouldn't even be responding "no" to him. I think part of me likes having this control over him now instead of it being the other around, but I know that's not good for me either. Only way to have total control with a narcissist is to ignore them and cut them out of your life. YOU WIN if you can do that. HE loses and goes to find another person to manipulate and lie to so he can get what he wants until he gets bored and needs more excitement/ego feeds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wisernow Posted April 7, 2013 Share Posted April 7, 2013 It's too bad you can't block people using imessage, but I just looked, and don't see a way. You could get a new phone number, but that's a pain too. Or you could turn the messaging off for awhile and get something like KIK to do your messaging. But responding to him sends a message that you're still interested. Hang in there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author neveragain34 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Share Posted April 7, 2013 He wants attention, likes to know/wants to know you're still into him, even after all the awful things he's done and said to you. EGO FEED. It means nothing to him on an emotional level. He lies, he cheats, he's a f'ing a-hole user NOT worthy of any of your time or effort. He is playing a game and is waiting for you to 'cave'. He thinks he can push your buttons, say whatever and you'll fall back into his arms. You aren't in love with him. How he makes you feel is based on his mind f..ck and his 'fake' words of manipulation. He is fantasy, someone who doesn't exist (the guy you had the A with and fell for at the beginning never existed.) So true! What better high would he get off knowing he could have me again after treating me so badly. I am definitely not in love with him and he isn't even a fantasy anymore. I see him as a sad, pathetic, diseased person now with 100x more issues and insecurities than I've ever had. Not changing the number I've had for years, but will turn off iMessage for a while. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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