Why do people snoop?

[tiki]

I don't understand the whole "snooping" thing. I think I'm afraid to find something that will hurt me. Do most people snoop? Be honest. Why do you snoop? Do you feel better after you snoop - or worse?

 

Do you know how many people find things and are stuck in a rut because they don't want to admit to "snooping"? When is snooping okay? Have you been busted snooping around?

[Merin]

I have "snooped" damn, I just like that word! LOL!

 

The reason I did it was because I felt that my bf was lying to me. He has given me plenty of reason to not trust him at times, so yeah I looked around.

 

The thing with me though, is IF I find something I don't even care if he knows I looked, I just told him YEAH AND? He has done this to me many, many times...... the whole "snooping" deal. So I didn't feel at all bad about doing, and I didn't feel bad about telling him I did it.

 

Honestly yeah of course it hurts if you happen to find something that isn't okay. BUT I am the kind of person that feels it is better to know the truth then to imagine something maybe even worse is happening, then what the truth is.

[HokeyReligions]

I read something in a psych class eons ago about the curiosity of humans. If you have guests over and they use the bathroom a greater percentage (above 50% - but I don't remember the exact figure) will peek behind the shower curtain; look in the cabinets (under the sink and medicine cabinet); or peek into a laundry hamper.

 

It's part of human nature to be curious. There was also a communication tip for the shy (something like that) that said if you keep a journal, or write a note, and leave it on a table (unopened book, or unsealed envelope) in some manner that another person can read it without tearing open an envelope, etc. that a very large percentage of people will read it. I remember the tip being to write a diary and leave it in a conspicuous place so that the person you want to read it, will.

 

(I did that with my husband because I needed to communicate with him about something and he just put a wall up when I tried to talk to him -- he needed to be informed, but I had to trick him into being open about receiving the information. Writing directly to him wouldn't work either.

 

Letting him discover the diary and read it worked! Just like I tricked my dog into eating new dog food by putting it into a bowl and pretending to eat it myself. She was thrilled to have 'people food' when I started giving her bits of it, and gobbled it up like a steak when I gave her the bowl! She'd completely turned her nose up at it when it was in her dog food bowl!)

 

Curiosity is one thing, but then there are people who will tear into a closet, and move furniture to see what might be behind it!

[tiki]

Interesting. So do you guys find it okay to snoop? I seem to have major issues with snooping around. But I'm not married yet either. I'm afraid of getting caught and feeling like a dumbass.

 

But I'm mostly referring to snooping thru a SO's items. Not family or friends, I'd never ever do that. Never!

[Merin]

I'm not married either. I don't know I guess to me I do feel it's okay to look around you know? LOL even if it makes me look like a dumbass, I would still rather risk looking stupid over nothing, than look stupid because I didn't know or understand what was happening?

 

For my family and friends...... no I wouldn't snoop through thier things. My boyfriend..... lol YES! He snoops through my things and he feels okay with it, so I guess I feel justified.

[tiki]

Okay, I guess I need to forewarn my boyfriend and tell him that from here on out, I'm snooping through all his sh*t. Maybe I can start tonight.

 

Okay, now, what if I find something?

 

Should I go through everything? How do you snoop? Maybe I should just start looking through his wallet with him sitting there.

[Merin]

Yes! I can just see how that could go......

 

"Sweetie, you know I love your butt right?! Well, I just want you to know, I'm going to be going through ALL of your **** in a few minutes mmmmK?"

 

Omg! LOL!

 

See the thing with snooping is to snoop, be undetected UNLESS you actually *crrrraaapppp* find something!

 

Then you say "Sweetie, you know I love your butt right? Well, I just want you to start explaining to me in FULL DETAIL why X~Y~Z was in your cheast of drawers right there in plain site, under those stacks of clothes, wrapped in a washcloth, in a zip lock baggie, mmmmmK?"

 

Shhhhiiiiii TTTT TADA!

[Adunaphel]

I usually ask permission before snooping.

 

A couple of times I snooped through my bf's collection of porn pics. I wanted to be sure he had removed the nekkid pic of a female friend of his.

Another time I read one of his msn messenger chat logs. Not good, I know. After doing it I told him "hey, I was reading one of your chat logs. you might want to protect them with a password". He did so.

 

I never checked anyone's cell phone, but if I ever got very suspicious of something and I felt the need to check my partner's phone/mailbox I would simply ask him to show it to me (and assume there is in it something I would not like to see if he refused).

 

I wonder if searching the net for stuff your SO posted on public forums is considered snooping. First time I did it (it was also the very first time I snooped in my relationship...and just out of curiosity)I found something I didn't like. (my current bf replying to a girl who asked in a forum tips about how to masturbate. he basically told her to write to him privately at his e-mail address and he would teach her. It might have been innocent on my bf's part, but....UGH!). He got angry at me and accused me of snooping.

 

Anyway...I'm going off topic.

 

I snooped a few times

(let's see- the chat log, the pics archive, a little 'snooping on the net' (like in the episode above), I tried to check the folder with the mails from his ex in his computer but didn't manage to(I wanted to check if they were still emailing each other), I once called is home number anonimously to check if he was home, I stumbled in a bill from a shop where he got me a birthday present (I was not snooping, it was lying around) and had a peek-I was curious about how much he spent.

 

I actually am not feeling bad for having snooped. (shameless me, ha!)

I felt way better when I found nothing that worried me. I got upset when I found something I didn't like.

 

If my bf left his diary open on his writing desk I'd read it (and I told him so...fair warning). If I found a mail/letter from an ex that was written after my bf and I got together, I'd read it. If I had access to his mailbox I'd read anything that was sent to him by any girl he has crossed a line with while he was with me.

 

If I found something upsetting I would talk about it without worrying about admitting I snooped.

 

I'd never want to be with a person who'd dump me (or would be very upset and cry murder) if I checked his cell phone or went through a photo album that was on his bed/writing desk - that is, if I did some 'minor' snooping.

I neither trust nor like guys who care *so* much for they privacy.

 

And I actually like boyfriends who snoop. I wish my bf snooped more.

[tiki]

But is this the way to be able to totally trust him? I'm marrying this man in December. I need to snoop now before it gets too late?!

[tiki]

Yeah I'll be the dumbass on here tomorrow, posting a new thread. I can see it now...

 

Paranoid, snooped and look what I found. Then you guys will be consoling me.

 

Okay snooping starts today. I want to know everything before I marry him.

[Adunaphel]

Originally posted by tikibrandy

But is this the way to be able to totally trust him? I'm marrying this man in December. I need to snoop now before it gets too late?!

 

Seriously. Why not ask him "hey, honey, I'd love to go through all your sh*t. I'm curious. I'd love to have a snooping session with you. Do you think it would be possible?"

 

Some guys might actually find the idea sweet.

[tiki]

I'm going to message him now and ask him if he would feel comfortable with me going through every single one of his items, just to rest my mind that he's not a lying, cheating sack of sh*t. He'll probably think I'm pshycho and dump me.

[tiki]

He replied....

 

"I dont think I would care. Why? Where are you?" Lol....funny.

 

He messaged me back and said he had nothing to hide...and does this mean he can go through my stuff. I told him, sure...sounds fun.

[littlome]

Ok I needed that laugh!!!!

Thank you so much ,

wow that was great!

 

I just walked out the door of my sisters and my ex that dumped me 3 days ago because it was going to fast was sitting in his truck talking to 2 other chicks, i just went down to my appartment and cleaned it.

 

Again you guys thank you!!!!

[tiki]

Okay he re-gave me his email password and I found nothing. What else can I look through?

[HokeyReligions]

I went through my husbands wallet when we were still dating. He sat it down between the car seats and I picked it up and said "I'm gonna look thru your wallet, ok?" as I started rifiling through it. My only comment was "Ick! How OLD is this condom anyway!"

 

 

He said turn about was fair play so I handed him my purse. He opened it, peered into it from a distance and said "I'm not sticking my hand in there!" and that was the end of it. Now he goes through my purse whenever he feels like it and NOW I don't want him to! Not because I'm doing anything wrong, but I hide money in there and that is MY stash of moola, not his and its not his business! OTOH, I do still go thru his wallet sometimes! The most damning thing I've ever found there was a ticket stub to a movie that we were supposed to see together and he couldn't wait and saw it first without me.

 

I think the reasons behind the snoop is what is most important. I don't suspect him of cheating or anything like that so I'm not looking FOR anything specific. When I look it's just idle curiosity, or I'm looking for something like the book club discount card or something like that.

[littlome]

Well from what I read on here comon places is:

shoeboxes

back of closet

walet

under a area rug

 

hope these help, more then that I hope that you are joking around and you really find nothing

 

good luck

[netrie]

[[color=red][/color]

 

I admit it. I snooped without intending to or unplanned---- he gave me the password to his computer and we had just gotten back together for 2 weeks after 3 months of breakup. I needed to do work and he wanted me to stay over and babysit his dog while he was in San Diego.

 

I found that he is a cheater; hypocrite, insecure and a liar.

 

Well, I am not perfect and I apologized BIG TIME, but weeks later I decided to break it off due to his hostile reaction to me--strangely he kept on calling me for sex and more sex and I kept on coming over. We never discussed things after that but I could not take his hidden anger issues and nontrust. I became nervous around him--afraid of him in a strange way. Very weird.

 

I would say I lost more respect for him by his hostile reaction towards me finding out about his cheating ways.

 

Would I do it again?

[dyermaker]

So do you guys find it okay to snoop?

Never.

[teck21]

'So do you guys find it okay to snoop? '

 

Always. for people in exclusives that is. I wish I'd get snooped on more by my GF.

[Adunaphel]

Originally posted by teck21

'So do you guys find it okay to snoop? '

 

Always. for people in exclusives that is. I wish I'd get snooped on more by my GF.

 

I love to read that I'm not the only one who wishes that her SO snooped more frequently!

 

My I ask why you wish your SO were more of a snoop?

 

I am still trying to figure it out *why* exactly I'd like my bf to be more snoopy.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with thoughts like "If he snoops, I feel free to snoop too".

I guess that I generally tend to find people who snoop more trustworthy.

[Anais]

So do you guys find it okay to snoop?

 

Have you noticed whenever someone snoops usually they find something? And my theory is that there is some intuition that makes people to go for it . If everything is ok who is crazy to go and dig? I don’t blame anyone doing it. If you feel like snooping go and do it! It is very natural.