tornlady Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 When a person feels like they are losing that "special" spark for the person they love how do u go about getting it back, what have some of u done to get those feelings back. It has been a long haul this last year for my husband and I, and I have been having feelings that I am scared to death about. So maybe hearing what some of u have to say would help me out!! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Spend some alone time together out of your element. Spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast. Date. It'll work wonders and bring back some romance. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 Tiki has a point. I know what would work for me.....and probably most men: Surprising him with flowers and balloons at work. Send the kids away to their friends for the whole weekend so you can spend that time wining, dining, and making love!! Write love letters to him and stick it in his lunch box. Give him a couple of, "You can have sex with me anytime", vouchers. Show up for lunch at his work place, and take him somewhere for a, "Quickie", or a BJ. Set a night each week for a romantic dinner, then dancing or going to a comedy show. I can come up with more.......but you get the hint from a males view. Of course, that, "Spark", needs to be initiated from both of you. You can't do all the work, it has to come from both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Butchey Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I don't think it would hurt to take out some old pictures of the two of you, in love, on vacation, etc. Memories are powerful things. But bring them out at the right time, after a nice dinner or something. Don't suprise him right when he gets home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tornlady Posted September 14, 2004 Author Share Posted September 14, 2004 those are some great idea's thankyou, but see this is where it's hard, I have been trying and yes was giving up bc I was getting nothing in return. I am having a hard time wanting to be sexual bc we have grown apart the last year, and the last few sexual encounter's have felt like a chore! We have no children so it is just us. I did just call him and asked to go to the city to spend the evening together and some shopping, I hope it will be good time ~TL~ Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 DATE NIGHT. being married with children, my wife and I lost ourselves along the way. We have recently chosen to spend MORE time on US. One of the things we now do is have a date night 2 times a month. We each take turns picking what to do. Wether it be a movie or nice dinner or going to the pub for some hot wings, or a motorcycle ride in the country....or even as simple as a nice nature walk. The main part is that it is just the 2 of you...no kids, no friends, no relatives. We have found a new love for each other...simply be concentrating on EACH other and not our friends or ourselves......although we do take time to have 'alone time' also....casue that is essential too. I would also suggest marriage counseling. It has been a big eye opener for my wife and I and I am so glad we are seeing one. Also to add to Mooses respones ask him how his day at work was.....if it was bad, ask how you could make it better....offer a back rub. Complement him on how he looks or what he is wearing. Leave a love note on his car dash board write him a short peom make his favorite desert Buy him a new outfit or new cap of his fav sports team men love attention......but to make it work for both sides it must reciprocated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tornlady Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 so how do u get them to give u the attention u r looking for??? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Treat them like your lover. Have a love afair with them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Do some phone sex with your partner. That's really fun to do. When I first moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) that was something I missed. We used to do phone sex, got me going cuz the thought of my mom picking up the phone and his reaction when I'd tell him was close...Hmm...lol. Anyways, for fun we did some phone sex about 3 months after I moved in with him...It was really fun! Infact I might mention it to him later tonight when he gets home from work. Woke up feeling quite randy today! Just too bad he'd already gone to work! Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Originally posted by tornlady so how do u get them to give u the attention u r looking for??? thats a good question.... how do you tell your SO you need attention w/o actually telling them what you need?.... leave hints, like say "a co worker got flowers at work today....wow, that would be nice to get" or leave a list of "romantic things your spose is sure to appreciate" somewhere he will see it. like this one. print it out and leave on his dresser.... http://www.lovingyou.com/content/romance/content.shtml?ART=todorightnow sometimes men need to be told flat out what to do...I know I was.....but now that I know what my wife needs....I just do little things like on this list. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 I am havng the same problem. I have been trying to rekindle the spark. But it's not working because he is not trying. I bring home just becuase gofts give him masages and make specail dinners we have date night. I signed us up for couples tennis and try to suggest different things to do as a couple dinner parites, dancing lessons but i get tuened down. If I just sign us up he goes and has a good time but there is no effort on his part. except I want to have sex a lot and buy nighties and try to suprise him and he turns me down Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 17, 2004 Share Posted September 17, 2004 sometimes men need to be told flat out what to do...I know I was.....but now that I know what my wife needs....I just do little things like on this list. That's me too. The problem is my wife has never been the one to get started. I have to initiate. I wish she'd take the reigns once in a while....... Link to post Share on other sites
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