Do women who don't care about height actually exist in quantities?

[silicone]

Ok a psuedo question, because theoretically, they should do. However, I am having a difficult time finding a women who doesn't care about height. Everyone says find someone who doesn't care about height, and sometimes I feel like I'm trying to find a mythical creature. I mean, granted it is true that I don't want to associate myself with one who cares about that quality, but what do you do when the significant majority require, obsess etc over that quality, marking the available pool to below 15% of the population (stratified data from OkCupid was extrapolated).

 

I think I could be perfect, in my own way. I am unique, there is no one like me. So I'd rather not change, yet I am aware of adaptive survivability associated as well as the risk.

 

We all know that most women don't want to date down, and would prefer to date a tall man. Finding someone my height is hard enough, and for them to be ok with my stature pretty much invalidates any chance, or significantly reduces the chance that I will end up with someone my height. I've always referred my partner's height as being a preference, and to me, and unlike most women I've met, either in person or online, it really is; and is probably why my ex was a tall girl.

 

I am of the belief that the initial attraction is physical, then emotional, that said, my experience cannot confirm nor deny this. It is said that physical attraction gets one foot in the door, whilst personality gets the other.

 

I've been told that I'm attractive, handsome etc, though I only see one flaw in myself, one that is a deal breaker for women. What one may see as low standards, someone else might see as high standards, especially if that standard is being applied to them.

[Els]

I'd wager that the majority of participants on OKCupid would care more about height than the average woman. Because when all you have are stats on a screen and you don't know a person, what WILL you screen for?

 

There are women for whom attraction is not solely relegated to how the guy looks (with height being a part of that), but something else has to replace that. For some women, that 'something else' would be perhaps career, or social prowess, or a smooth tongue. For me, that 'something else' would be intellect and knowing that he, too, prizes a woman for 'something else' other than her looks.

 

TL;DR: Yes, they do.

[soccerrprp]

There's gotta be something else going on...

 

I'm 5'6 and have very few problems finding ladies to date me. And, btw, ladies that I find attractive and bodies to match. Yes, yes, personalities to suit, but we're talking about a physical attribute...

 

Never had such dating issues and still don't.

 

Is it a regional thing? I don't completely understand this not finding dates SIMPLY b/c of height. I know that there are those who are really short and that may play a much bigger part in it, but I am curious to know what exactly is stopping you....

[Els]

There's gotta be something else going on...

 

I'm 5'6 and have very few problems finding ladies to date me. And, btw, ladies that I find attractive and bodies to match. Yes, yes, personalities to suit, but we're talking about a physical attribute...

 

Never had such dating issues and still don't.

 

Is it a regional thing? I don't completely understand this not finding dates SIMPLY b/c of height. I know that there are those who are really short and that may play a much bigger part in it, but I am curious to know what exactly is stopping you....

 

I think that men who rely primarily on their appearance to get ladies, will suffer the most for their height. Short guys with balanced lives rarely seem to have an issue.

[MrCastle]

They exist in the real world but not online. Online is as shallow as it gets.

 

In person, it's totally different.

 

I've seen short people, fat people, bald people, broke people, stupid people, bad people, objectively ugly people all find dates.

 

If you think your height is a limitation, then it will be. If you don't, then it won't be.

[silicone]

There's gotta be something else going on...

 

I'm 5'6 and have very few problems finding ladies to date me. And, btw, ladies that I find attractive and bodies to match. Yes, yes, personalities to suit, but we're talking about a physical attribute...

 

Never had such dating issues and still don't.

 

Is it a regional thing? I don't completely understand this not finding dates SIMPLY b/c of height. I know that there are those who are really short and that may play a much bigger part in it, but I am curious to know what exactly is stopping you....

 

I'm not sure that it's my personality, a lot of gay men are attracted to me, and I have better success with the older women, just no one about my age. FTR, I am shorter than you by about 4 inches.

[IT Geek]

You're more likely to find someone being good looking and short than I am being ugly and tall!

[Mme. Chaucer]

Why do you need quantities?

[silicone]

You're more likely to find someone being good looking and short than I am being ugly and tall!

 

I'm known, at work, for breaking the stereotype that our IT dept have. I like going out and having fun.

 

In terms of attracting men, I seem to get more really tall men as well shorter men.

[mesmerized]

at 5'2", it is going to be hard for you. But you had girl friends before and I'm sure it will happen again. Just don't show your insecurity about your height.

[silicone]

Why do you need quantities?

 

Because I'd more likely to find at least some quality.

[silicone]

at 5'2", it is going to be hard for you. But you had girl friends before and I'm sure it will happen again. Just don't show your insecurity about your height.

 

I don't plan to, I just want to get rid of it, I want to be a bit more like I was before, who didn't care, though I'd like to maintain my new openness.

[silicone]

They exist in the real world but not online. Online is as shallow as it gets.

 

In person, it's totally different.

 

I've seen short people, fat people, bald people, broke people, stupid people, bad people, objectively ugly people all find dates.

 

If you think your height is a limitation, then it will be. If you don't, then it won't be.

 

Before, when I didn't think it was a limitation, I had 3 bad quality gfs, and I mean really bad quality.

[PJKino]

I'd wager that the majority of participants on OKCupid would care more about height than the average woman. Because when all you have are stats on a screen and you don't know a person, what WILL you screen for?

 

There are women for whom attraction is not solely relegated to how the guy looks (with height being a part of that), but something else has to replace that. For some women, that 'something else' would be perhaps career, or social prowess, or a smooth tongue. For me, that 'something else' would be intellect and knowing that he, too, prizes a woman for 'something else' other than her looks.

 

TL;DR: Yes, they do.

 

so youre saying its rare a women would ever be attracted to a short guy at first sight? wow

[RedRobin]

To all the guys who feel their height puts them at a disadvantage...

 

I'd say find activities where it is an advantage... Because there are. Once you develop the confidence that comes from being good at what you DO, not what you look like, the world is your oyster, my friend!!

 

I pointed out on another thread that the best male dancers are not tall.

 

If you want to go the other extreme, male jockeys are not tall either. What's more macho than riding a 1000 lb beast at speeds that will kill you if you fall off?

 

Ok, call that 'compensation' if you will... but seriously... I'd say the same for women. For every activity, profession, or group that has one singular quality that would be a negative... there is another where that precise quality is called for and sought after. So, find it!!

[MrCastle]

Before, when I didn't think it was a limitation, I had 3 bad quality gfs, and I mean really bad quality.

 

That could be for other reasons. I don't think it's a limitation and I do fine.

 

Before joining forums, I had no knowledge of how (seemingly) important height was.

 

I mean, there were a few rare occasions growing up as a kid where people would call me "shorty", but nothing that left a lasting impression on my psyche. Nothing that made me feel bad about being short.

 

I knew being tall was advantageous, maybe not so much in dating, but I would assume most people would prefer to be taller than shorter.

 

Then I come on here, and see women gushing about height. You could imagine my surprise as I have never seen or heard this in real life.

 

Now, for that, I am glad I'm short. If being short makes dating harder, than I am more than happy to overcome yet another obstacle and prove to people anything is possible.

[silicone]

To all the guys who feel their height puts them at a disadvantage...

 

I'd say find activities where it is an advantage... Because there are. Once you develop the confidence that comes from being good at what you DO, not what you look like, the world is your oyster, my friend!!

 

I pointed out on another thread that the best male dancers are not tall.

 

If you want to go the other extreme, male jockeys are not tall either. What's more macho than riding a 1000 lb beast at speeds that will kill you if you fall off?

 

Ok, call that 'compensation' if you will... but seriously... I'd say the same for women. For every activity, profession, or group that has one singular quality that would be a negative... there is another where that precise quality is called for and sought after. So, find it!!

 

I did wrestling. That was good, and fun. Watching two men grapple on a mat? Probably doesn't turn women on. Does turn some men on though.

 

I was at a good advantage: my heavier muscular weight compared to my small frame made me more agile than my slightly taller opponents, especially if they dehydrated themselves to enter a lower weight category.

[ses]

Height, like race, is a non-issue for me. I'm 5'4-5'5, and I've been attracted to guys who were 5'5 and 6'3. I actually like men on the short side because I can directly look into their eyes when we hug/kiss, instead of looking up. The last guy I hooked up with was 5'6. Tall guys do have some advantages: I remember when the 6'3 guy would rest his head on mine when we hugged. Very sweet, but not the reason I liked him.

 

I don't wear heels also so I can't compensate for a great height difference. My lovely sister is 5'7 and she loves to wear stilettos. Her fiancé is 5'8 or 5'9 I believe, and she still wears heels with him. They make an adorable couple.

 

The guy I currently dig is 6'0, but I would still be attracted if he were my height. It's just not a deal breaker for me. Other women may say differently but I accept that men come in all shapes and sizes. Diversity is hot!

 

What's not attractive? Men who bemoan their height and complain they can't get women. Yes, many women are shallow and superficial, but others will give you a shot if you let them. Insecurity is a major turn-off for both sexes.

[mesmerized]

Before, when I didn't think it was a limitation, I had 3 bad quality gfs, and I mean really bad quality.

 

You used to always speak well of your last gf and now she was bad quality?? and what do you exactly man by quality here, looks?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Before, when I didn't think it was a limitation, I had 3 bad quality gfs, and I mean really bad quality.

 

I think that points to you choosing to have relationships with "really bad quality" girls, not height.

 

Why'd you do that?

[Mme. Chaucer]

LOL I'm going to go ahead and disagree with this. I don't think being a jockey will help him get girls.

 

Also, being a jockey (or a dancer, for that matter) are not things an adult can just decide to become because he happens to be short. A lot of natural ability is necessary for either.

 

And, I believe that choosing a profession or even a hobby based on your physical size is just going further down that losing path of giving that way, way too much power.

 

Like what you like and WHO you like - not based upon your height! Please!

[silicone]

You used to always speak well of your last gf and now she was bad quality?? and what do you exactly man by quality here, looks?

 

Her insecurity led her to sleep with different people and still expect me to stay with her. I'm not going to be in the company of someone who does not respect me, regardless of how much I love her. My integrity won't allow it.

 

Quality: someone who is not too open, someone who shares my values, someone I can have fun and be fun with, someone I can feel a connection with. This girl probably needs to be a bit mature and not a party girl.

 

Looks wise? Don't be fat. You don't have to be stunning, in fact, no one saw my ex as stunning, but to me she was gorgeous, beautiful. If you are overweight, and are actively losing weight, let me help you, we can work out together and eat together.

[silicone]

I think that points to you choosing to have relationships with "really bad quality" girls, not height.

 

Why'd you do that?

 

I really have no way of knowing whether a girl is going to use me to get to someone else, or love me and let her insecurities tell her to cheat before I cheat on her.

 

It's rare enough for me to be attracted to someone.

[Els]

so youre saying its rare a women would ever be attracted to a short guy at first sight? wow

 

Attraction at first sight is overrated.

 

Regardless, if you disagree with me and believe being short has no impact on attraction at first sight, great for you. Why are you on all these height threads again?

[soccerrprp]

silicone,

 

I'm going to be frank about your concerns.

 

Do women who don't care about height actually exist in quantities? I am going to say...NO. But it is not an emphatic no.

 

Allow me to explain my view on this.

 

I have met no woman or observed via OLD any woman that does not have a height preference. Many of them have requirements that seem comical at times, but the vast majority of women prefer men who are average to above average in height. And from my observations, I have only met or seen a handful of women who are okay with men who are slightly shorter than themselves.

 

I've met a couple of women who were willing to date a shorter me, but soon and quickly learned to be more realistic and now only actively seek out women who are my height or shorter (5'6 and shorter). There are many women that fall into the height range that I am interested in.

 

But you say that you are about 5'2, right? That is, by any honest observation, a more defined disadvantage than most here are willing to admit to you. Are there women shorter than 5'2, certainly, but based on what I've observed, you would be most successful with women who are 5'2 and shorter, further shrinking your dating pool where the pool is already made handicapped b/c of women's preferences.

 

I know of a guy that is about your height and is married. His wife is about the same height, but they come from a very different culture where "shorter" men are not that uncommon it seems.

 

Anyway, you have fewer options available to you. That you know already. But you do have a choice. Either make the best of who you are or deteriorate to the point of utter dejection and melancholy and find NO satisfaction for life in general. Don't let your height keep you from being happy with life and try not to define your life around the romantic relationships you establish only. Keep yourself around friends and family who enjoy your company for who you are and in the meantime keep looking for the lady that you desire.

 

And please don't be irrationally inspired by examples of jockies or celebrities or people of wealth/power as examples of how you can overcome your height difficulties. They are not of our world and they didn't get the great ladies/mates b/c their mates were dismissive of their height, rather they were attracted to other qualities/assets that very few of us possess.

 

It will be tough, but not impossible. My advice is to be realistic, centered and persistent. But be happy with yourself for yourself. I know, easier said than done...