Anyone else date a bi-polar person?

[Silly24]

It was hell!

 

Mood swings, overly sexual (and I love sex), demanding, blaming....did I say mood wings?

[CarrieT]

It was hell!

 

Was - as in, "past tense?" Or are you still involved?

 

Mood swings, overly sexual (and I love sex), demanding, blaming....did I say mood wings?

Been there, done that...

 

Until the "overly sexual" turned into NON-sexual. I put up with that for 18 months before calling it quits.

[Silly24]

that[/i] for 18 months before calling it quits.

 

Wow...that happened as well. During my last week with him (It was a LDR) he didn't want anything physical...not even hold my hand.

 

Oh and it's past tense...we're over.

 

It was just a weird experience that I'll never forget.

[KathyM]

I know a man who is Bipolar, but he takes medication to control his mood. He's happily married to a wonderful woman who loves him, and doesn't appear to have any symptoms at all while on the medication. But an untreated Bipolar guy is impossible to handle.

[ltjg45]

Date? Not in her eyes.

 

Actually spent time with a bi-polar person? Yeah.

 

Needless to say, I don't want to do that ever again.

[BetheButterfly]

It was hell!

 

Mood swings, overly sexual (and I love sex), demanding, blaming....did I say mood wings?

 

Was there abuse?

 

I think it's important to note though that bipolar is not synonymous with abuse. Bipolar does make relationships harder, no doubt about it, but just because someone has bipolar, that does not mean that he/she will abuse someone.

 

My Dad and one of my sisters have bipolar. They are both very intelligent and kind people, yet when the chemicals in their brains become imbalanced, they suffer depression and have a hard time which makes their loved ones also have a hard time. Like KathyM says, meds help a lot!!!

 

They can control themselves though... even without medicine if they want, they can control what they say and do... it's just harder for them than for others, but it's important for them to not use bipolar as an excuse for mistreating people.

 

While I have never dated a bipolar person (as far as I know), I do know it's important to put up boundaries and have kind but firm consequences for those boundaries. That helps a lot too.

[Toddbt12y1]

Yup. My ex was bi-polar. She wasn't in the maniac stage...but boy..mood swings, etc. Long story short..she cheated on me after 4 1/2 yrs. She sure did change unfortunately ....

[Silly24]

Abuse can be verbal so yes I consider it abuse.

[amaysngrace]

Yeah and I dig him. He's like a surprise.

[KathyM]

I just want to add that with Bipolar Disorder, the impulse control part of the brain is severely compromised when the illness is untreated. That part of the brain actually shrinks, making it extremely difficult to control one's impulses, which is why in the manic stage or hypomanic stage, the person may engage in uncontrolled sex, violence, uncontrolled spending, gambling, and a host of other things, because they are not able to control their impulses. It also puts them at risk of doing something dangerous that may take their life when in the manic or hypomanic stage. When put on medication, the impulse control part of the brain returns to normal size and functioning, and the person can lead a very normal life free from symptoms, but he has to take the medication for the rest of his life or his symptoms are likely to return. It's a lifelong illness that needs to be managed throughout life. Some people only experience the severe manic stage, which would be Bipolar I, where there is significant loss of impulse control and severe irritability. Some people experience both the manic and the depressed stage, which would also be Bipolar I. Some people have Bipolar II, which is the depressed stage alternating with the hypomanic stage, where the loss of impulse control and other manic features are not as significant as with Bipolar I. Bipolar I is the more severe form of the illness. Both can be managed with medication, and people can go on to live normal healthy lives free of symptoms if they manage their illness well.

[cerridwen]

I have.

He was a brilliant writer and athlete and as nutty as a Baby Ruth.

Can't say I'd recommend it if he/she isn't trying to manage it responsibly.

Edited April 8, 2013 by cerridwen

[tuxedo cat]

^Cerridwen did we date the same dude?

 

Mine was also a brilliant writer, although he wasn't very athletic.

 

His bipolar was undiagnosed but I pieced it together from observing his behavior and hearing about his past. Moods changed on a dime; and he had me believe I was always the one to blame. I had to constantly "manage" him and be diplomatic to avoid upsetting him. He would go for days without sleeping during his manic phases. He refused to get any help or admit that he might have an undiagnosed problem. I'm sure he's just as bad now as when I left him.

[hppr]

I had a long-time friend who was bipolar, can't imagine dating a girl like that. Women already have mood swings so bipolar would be hell.

[Nyla]

I know a man who is Bipolar, but he takes medication to control his mood. He's happily married to a wonderful woman who loves him, and doesn't appear to have any symptoms at all while on the medication. But an untreated Bipolar guy is impossible to handle.

 

This sounds like me. I have bipolar disorder which is treated, though other factors can affect my mood. I have to make sure that I am eating properly and getting enough sleep, as well as keep taking my medication.

 

I am embarassed to have bipolar disorder and I have learned to keep it to myself because people are judgemental. Look at this thread and how many people had such negative things to say about those with bipolar disorder. The stigma is so sad. Since I function at a 90% (GAF scale), most people are not even aware of my illness so they say derogatory things about the mentally ill right to my face.

 

When I was single, the men I confided in about my illness did not handle it well. One of them kept telling me I was addicted to my pills, so I stopped taking them to please him. When I got sick, that fool left me. Another guy told everyone he knew of my illness without my permission and tried to use my illness to control me. Anytime I was angry or sad, he would always ask if I took my meds...as if someone cannot simply be pissed off!

 

On my wedding day, I was very angry and disappointed at my guests for being almost an hour late. I was shouting and my so called friend told her boyfriend that I was "manic". I was just very upset that my day was ruined, but of course if a bipolar woman gets mad she must be going nuts.

 

My husband handles my illness well; he thinks I am a strong woman to go through what I have survived in life. If my marriage doesn't work out, I would NEVER tell any man about my illness again. People just don't understand mental illness and they look down on those who suffer from it. I have no sympathy for those who refuse to get help and wreak havoc on themselves and others. At least I understand that I am a mess and I try to help myself with meds, therapy and being around people who are understanding. Thank God for my husband and my three best friends.

[Nyla]

I have.

He was a brilliant writer and athlete and as nutty as a Baby Ruth.

Can't say I'd recommend it if he/she isn't trying to manage it responsibly.

 

Most talented people are nutty. I have also had my writing praised all my life.

[Silly24]

This sounds like me. I have bipolar disorder which is treated, though other factors can affect my mood. I have to make sure that I am eating properly and getting enough sleep, as well as keep taking my medication.

 

I am embarassed to have bipolar disorder and I have learned to keep it to myself because people are judgemental. Look at this thread and how many people had such negative things to say about those with bipolar disorder. The stigma is so sad. Since I function at a 90% (GAF scale), most people are not even aware of my illness so they say derogatory things about the mentally ill right to my face.

 

When I was single, the men I confided in about my illness did not handle it well. One of them kept telling me I was addicted to my pills, so I stopped taking them to please him. When I got sick, that fool left me. Another guy told everyone he knew of my illness without my permission and tried to use my illness to control me. Anytime I was angry or sad, he would always ask if I took my meds...as if someone cannot simply be pissed off!

 

On my wedding day, I was very angry and disappointed at my guests for being almost an hour late. I was shouting and my so called friend told her boyfriend that I was "manic". I was just very upset that my day was ruined, but of course if a bipolar woman gets mad she must be going nuts.

 

My husband handles my illness well; he thinks I am a strong woman to go through what I have survived in life. If my marriage doesn't work out, I would NEVER tell any man about my illness again. People just don't understand mental illness and they look down on those who suffer from it. I have no sympathy for those who refuse to get help and wreak havoc on themselves and others. At least I understand that I am a mess and I try to help myself with meds, therapy and being around people who are understanding. Thank God for my husband and my three best friends.

 

I appauld you for accepting your issues and doing something about it. We all have our issues, our failings, but we become better people when we do something about it. So good for you!

 

It is my understanding that many with bipolar personality rarely recognize their disorder and go through life wondering why other people tend to leave them. This is my last boyfriend. It's ashame, there was so many things amazing about him and if he accepted his disability and had gotten help, I would have stayed. But nothing he did wrong was his fault. For example, when he told me out of the blue about him approaching other women for dates on a dating website, he blamed me to tricking him into telling him.

[GMG90]

My boyfriend is bipolar... and unmedicated.

 

I'm in the parting stage but for some reason that's so hard for me to do. I can tell you that he wasn't so out of whack when I met him. Also, I can tell you that he was never "normal" but things got horrific as time went on. The verbal abuse ... not worth it. It doesn't matter if you're the only person that does anything for him... still get mistreated. Try talking about that with him... reasons with himself why he has the right to mistreat me with illogical thinking.

 

Yeah, so that's my life at the moment. I know I must leave him... because I'm caving into a deep depression. I can't live life without wishing I wasn't on this earth. I might have to clean up the pieces of this relationship, but damn.

 

 

Until the "overly sexual" turned into NON-sexual. I put up with that for 18 months before calling it quits.

 

Carrie, are you my long lost twin?

 

Haha, seriously. My guy was really sexual when I met him and I liked his sex drive. As soon as I walked in the door, he would grab my hand and redirect it towards his "area" to show me... I thought that my drive was over the top, but see that was something that drew me in. Then I ask him about sex and why we stopped and I'd get "I'm not sexual anymore". YOU'RE NOT WHAT? But weren't you and I busting walls last month?.... So, that really did upset me. I think I adjusted to that the past few months to be honest, but the abuse above is still problematic to the point of intollerability.

Edited April 11, 2013 by GMG90

[Silly24]

My boyfriend is bipolar... and unmedicated.

 

I'm in the parting stage but for some reason that's so hard for me to do. I can tell you that he wasn't so out of whack when I met him. Also, I can tell you that he was never "normal" but things got horrific as time went on. The verbal abuse ... not worth it. It doesn't matter if you're the only person that does anything for him... still get mistreated. Try talking about that with him... reasons with himself why he has the right to mistreat me with illogical thinking.

 

Yeah, so that's my life at the moment. I know I must leave him... because I'm caving into a deep depression. I can't live life without wishing I wasn't on this earth. I might have to clean up the pieces of this relationship, but damn.

 

 

 

 

Carrie, are you my long lost twin?

 

Haha, seriously. My guy was really sexual when I met him and I liked his sex drive. As soon as I walked in the door, he would grab my hand and redirect it towards his "area" to show me... I thought that my drive was over the top, but see that was something that drew me in. Then I ask him about sex and why we stopped and I'd get "I'm not sexual anymore". YOU'RE NOT WHAT? But weren't you and I busting walls last month?.... So, that really did upset me. I think I adjusted to that the past few months to be honest, but the abuse above is still problematic to the point of intollerability.

 

Same here! The first few months, the sex was constant and off the hook.

 

Then when he didn't want any sex for long periods of time, I'd ask and he'd call me a "crazy bitch and that I got enough sex". Then the next day I'd be lectured on why I wasn't available for sex that morning, cause "you know I like sex in the morning" he'd say. No matter what I did, I was in trouble.

 

Get out while you still have a little self-esteem. Otherwise, he'll chip away at you and you we become nothing.

[amaysngrace]

If someone chips away at your self-esteem while you know that they have a form of mental illness, you need to reevaluate your own self.

 

Just saying.

[GMG90]

To say the least I'm done with him...

 

He's gone on tour until June and we talk and text like any normal couple would, especially when he's been gone for a month already. He tells me that he can't yearn for me because we talk and text throughout the trip.... You know, people in LDR don't see each other every single day or week either, but rest assured they communicate and are actually HAPPY about seeing their partner when they can.

 

When I saw him yesterday, he acted like he didn't really want to see me. He had a day off so he came back home. We walked and talked a little but he didn't understand why I was excited to see face to face. Because a month is a long time... especially when we're a couple that would see eye to eye during the week.

 

So he told me not text or call him much in the next 3 months to increase his "yearn". Well, if I go cold turkey, I know he'll yearn alright... he'll call me crying and apologizing for things he should have in the past. That's the only way he can grow to miss me, unfortunately...

Edited April 11, 2013 by GMG90

[Downtown]

I agree with Butterfly that extreme abuse and violence is NOT a trait of bipolar disorder. Granted, bipolar sufferers may become irritable and even obnoxious during a manic phase but, when that behavior rises to the level of frequent abuse or occasional violence, you likely are seeing traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

 

The lay public often confuses these two disorders. One reason for the confusion is that about half of the bipolar sufferers also have full-blown BPD. Specifically, a recent study of nearly 35,000 American adults found that -- for those people exhibiting bipolar disorder within the prior 12 months -- 50% of those having bipolar-1 (and 40% of those having bipolar-2) also had full-blown BPD. See Table 2 at Prevalence, Correlates, Disability, and Comorbidity of DSM-IV Borderline Personality Disorder: Results from the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions.

[CopingGal]

Bipolar no, but I dated a sociopath. I think I would have preferred bipolar.

[CopingGal]

If someone chips away at your self-esteem while you know that they have a form of mental illness, you need to reevaluate your own self.

 

Just saying.

 

 

Yeah, in my case I didn't know until after I left him. Towards the end of our relationship, my ex got sloppy. He was no longer covering up his lies and his betrayal. He just simply ignored me. After I left him I found out all the things he did.

[Silly24]

Oh Yippee...he has called four times today. I didn't pick up. It's my work cell, so I can't block him.

 

Lord...why wouldn't he just disappear already?

[GMG90]

Oh Yippee...he has called four times today. I didn't pick up. It's my work cell, so I can't block him.

 

Lord...why wouldn't he just disappear already?

 

They always come back...

 

Mine did tonight. Brief chit chat with nothing bad though.