Author KM_0010 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 Yeah i know i need to watch the stress but i just prefer him to stay with me because before he meet his wife he did heroin pretty bad he met her and he cleaned up fast she was his saving grace! And now that he lost her i am scared he will turn back to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 (edited) That is even more reason for your brother to do his detox in a secure environment but your mind is made up so I will bow out and let you receive direction from others. Please consider posting on the substance/alcohol misuse part of the site. Hope it all works out. Take care, Eve x Edited April 15, 2013 by Eve Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 That is even more reason for your brother to do his detox in a secure environment but your mind is made up so I will bow out and let you receive direction from others. Please consider posting on the substance/alcohol misuse part of the site. Hope it all works out. Take care, Eve x Mind not made up just love him so much Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Mind not made up just love him so much Off course you do! That is not the question here. The question is the long term safety of your brother who currently is in no fit state to make decisions by himself. Did you report the last suicide attempt? I am shocked that you are left contemplating all of this without medical support taking the lead. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 Yes and his doctors and family are trying to figure out what to do Link to post Share on other sites
Infnitysign Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 This is truly a tragedy and i believe nobody could overcome this without love and help. Good luck best of wishes to your family and your brother. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 You are going to, as a family, have to get him re-committed, for his own safety. He needs to stay there for at least a few weeks. Staying with you will NOT HELP HIM. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Had him committed and to where he can't release himself 3 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Perdect. What happened is WAY TOO BIG for him to be able to handle without a LOT of help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Had him committed and to where he can't release himself You have done the right thing. I hope the distance is not too far for you to travel. In my heart and prayers, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 How do you talk someone out of killing themselves when they feel they can't go on? How to you convince them they are worth something and how do you convince them to come live with you where its safer and better ugh. you are invested in this person living it is not possible for you to talk this person round you can let your brother know you love and care for him, that you support him through the grieving.....that you will always be there........you cannot talk him "round"....he needs to seek professional help....if you feel that he is not going to seek professional help...you must seek it for you and your family.....to help and guide you through the minefield of a possible suicide case.......and if that professional sees fit they can and do intervene....its aggressive medical intervention...where he is forced to undergo treatment.......and he will resent the hell out of you for it....but it may save his life...he will be grateful for that intervention at a much later time....i have undergone aggressive medical intervention....it is the final free for all to save someone....i am here.......so....it worked....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 He is close to where i can visit but i still feel so bad for doing this to him. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 KM, your love for him SHOWS in your ability to be the one to DO this hard thing - FOR him. One day he will see that. And thank you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 He is close to where i can visit but i still feel so bad for doing this to him. Living well is always the best example. Look after yourself - congratulation by the way on your pregnancy. You need to get positive vibes flowing again for the baby after all this shock. Your brother is your blood. Never question that you would ever do anything but what is right for him. There is no point in such thoughts. You have kept him safe. Chin up, you are going to be a mummy soon and need to make a preparation or two. Your brother is in safe hands. He needs to go through some things now in order to heal and only he can do this - but he is one of the very lucky ones because he has people who love him nearby. Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 21, 2013 Author Share Posted April 21, 2013 Went and saw him today and he told me he never wanted to see me again Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 BTDT. When I worked downtown at the same time as my brother, we'd have lunch occasionally. He had been seeing a psychologist at his work. He told me that he'd been feeling like just ending things. So I called her and told her what he said and that I was worried he'd kill himself. Of course, she blabbed it all to him straightaway. He called me up, furious. Said he never wanted anything to do with me again. That lasted about 6 months. Then he thanked me for helping him. Just ignore it. You did the right thing. He has a LOT of grief to work through and hopefully they'll be able to help him deal with his addictive personality at the same time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine87 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 My younger brothers wife was raped and killed while leaving the mall about a month ago she was 8 months pregnant with there first kid and they have only been married for about two years now. He has been in the ER twice now with alcohol poisoning We all think he is suicidal but were not entirely sure. I wanna go stay with him but whenever we go and try and be with him he gets violent and its just i don't know what to do he is so torn up and i want to help my baby brother but i just don't know how. I haven't read through this thread but reading your post just broke my heart. I'll respond soon. I'm so sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Yeah i did i had to cask 911 last nit and they took hook to the hirsutism he is going to gate me. I an feeling pretty bad actually i fell so bad and fell like i betrayed him I am sorry you feel like that but you didn't betray him. You love him and you're trying to help him. He is in a very difficult and heart-breaking place right now. I understand why he does not feel like living, but I hope he realizes that his family loves him and that life is still worth living because of Love, including the love of his family. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) Went and saw him today and he told me he never wanted to see me again That would break my heart if one of my sisters ever told me that. KM, he's been through so much injustice and is taking his anger out on you. Please don't take it personally, though I'm sure that's so much easier said than done. I wonder if he blames himself for what happened to his wife? I think all he's going through is just overwhelming him and blinding him to your love and care and concern for him. Please don't take that personally though. Please just keep being firm and loving. Hopefully soon he will wake up and realize that he is blessed to have a sister who cares for him. CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!!! You need to make sure to take care of your health and the baby. I think why your husband does not want your brother living with y'all is possibly due to his desire for the baby and you to have a pleasant atmosphere. Your brother needs professional help, and even though it hurt what he said, I would encourage you to write him a letter every 2 days just saying something like that you love him and want him to heal, and that life is worth living because of Love, and that he can make a positive difference in the world if he wants; he just needs to heal from the pain that evil has brought. (I just talked to my husband and he said no not every 2 days to writing him, but rather every month possibly. He also said that he can't imagine what your brother is going through, and that your brother is very broken inside. He said right now you need to give him space, and if he has any male friends who are not currently druggies or alcoholics, to ask them to go visit him.) Edited April 24, 2013 by BetheButterfly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Sorry i haven't updated in awful i feel bad he still doesn't want me around at all Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Give it time, ok? At least he's alive. Like I said, it took my brother 6 months to 'get over' what I did. He's still there, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 OP, how are you? Have you started buying baby clothes yet, or are you waiting until you are further on? Your brother will need time to get the alcohol out off his system. I wouldn't let anything he says during this time bother you. You did the right thing helping him to detox properly. Did you know that a person can actually develop fits if they stop drinking high amounts immediately? Not to mention the risk of alcohol poisening which can lead to death. This is a difficult topic for me as I have had clients die on me before - that is why I was so persistant. Hope I didn't get on your nerves too mucn! You have saved his life. Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 I an waiting before i buy a lot of things i am doing OK i guess hate how my bro is treating me breaks my heart yes he is still in Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I an waiting before i buy a lot of things i am doing OK i guess hate how my bro is treating me breaks my heart yes he is still in Glad you and the baby are ok and your brother is still being looked after. Maybe join a support group? It is very affirming to meet with others going through similar things. Puts perspective on emotionally charged issues. People often put up resistance to joining groups and then don't shut up once there! Please see what is available where you live. Don't try to do this alone. The baby will have to come first, so I think this would be a good time to learn how to deal with the feelings that your brother can draw out off you. Don't absorb the negativity. Make sure you chat with the baby so he/she knows your calm and anxious voice. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Author KM_0010 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 You sound like my husband and i know it's just hard he is my baby brother and i basically took care of him growing up. Link to post Share on other sites
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