Ashlyn Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I need help in figuring out what I should do. I have a guy friend who has an awful on/off relationship. Its currently back on at the moment. Its off and on which makes it toxic. None of our friends like the girl or enjoy her company. She's extremely negative always brings him down etc. He will even talk badly about her and they fight and break up almost every single fight they have. Usually with her dumping him. He then acts like she's not worth his time and he's glad its over and 2 mins later they are back together. So this is where its confusing... We hang out all the time. What guy with a girlfriend has a girl friend that he wants to hang out with the majority of the week? He will txt or call me to find out what I'm up to.. Then he will literally go hang out with her for a minimal amount of time only to contact me again to see if I want to come over, hang out, etc. I want to remain friends with him but at this point he literally hangs out with me more than his own girlfriend. I feel like he is almost dating both of us due to the amt of time he hangs w me. I was riding around w his best guy friend and instead of calling him to see where we were he calls me. I hung out w him all day yesterday with a few other ppl and I left and maybe 30 mins later he's txt me asking if I want to go grab a drink. He then proceeded to call me twice and txt me twice trying to get me out of the house and hanging out w him. I care about him a lot as a friend. He tells me he loves me when I'm leaving him I'm sure its like oh I love u as a friend but still I'm just a little confused on why a guy with a girlfriend would be trying to see me all the time! (At least 4 times a week) and why he would continue to be w someone who is to plainly put it awful. And I am in no way jealous of this girl. She's just literally that terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Why would he want to hang out with someone so negative? When he is seeing his gf they are probably having sex and once he's got that out of his system he wants to hang out with friends again. Personally, it sounds like you want him to have feelings for you. Not saying you are "jealous" but just the way you are wording things makes you seem like more than just a concerned friend. Friends usually don't feel like someone wanting to hang out with them all the time is like them "dating"... Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 This is or isn't the same guy from your "my-guy-friend-has-girlfriend-but-i-think-he-likes-me-awkward" thread? It seems like you have boundary issues with so-called "guy friends". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashlyn Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 hey thx for your response. i said that i wasnt jealous just to get the point across that while i think she is awful its not bc im jealous of her or their relationship its bc she is awful. i just dislike toxic relationships esp when my friends are involved and getting "hurt" all the time and then trying to talk to me abt it. (i try to tell all my friends i do not wish to discuss their relationships, purely bc 99% of the time they are only telling me bad things and that puts their chosen partner in a negative light in my eyes when their relationship has nothing to do with me) this isnt the same friend from that post.. i have guy and girl friends its probably a 65/35 ratio. why? i dont know i have similar interests that guys do. I dont want him to have feelings for me but I feel that he might simply due to the fact that he hangs out with me more than his gf. the reason I might seem concerned is bc i dont want it to be perceived as we are dating or that he has a crush on me etc. ppl notice things. he is steadily trying to spend time with me, yes i know friends hang out but when you have a girlfriend you do not hang out with other girls more than her... am i right? not sure how i get myself in these situations. i thought guys and girls could be platonic friends but the more i am hanging out with friends im seeing a strange pattern and im the common denominator. what should i do about the boundary thing? decline hanging out with him when he asks? i feel guilty hanging out w him sometimes but i think that he should, not me. and he doesnt. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 If you like hanging out with him, and you're fine just being friends, then who cares? It's not your problem how he allocates his time. I would stop over-thinking things. Although, that indicates that you have feelings for him. In which case, you're in for a whole lotta mess, and you probably should cut him loose. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashlyn Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Thx Anna. I over analyze and think too much sometimes and I do care for him as a friend but it does make me a little uncomfortable so I think distance will be best. Link to post Share on other sites
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