I'm through believing men!

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

I was not sure where to post this, but I think this is the perfect place. I am going to Self-Improve who I am.

 

Today I learned a lesson the hard way. I learned that the man I was dating is a lying *astard. I thought he cared, but obviously everything was just contemptible lies! He made me believe he loved me and all he did was lie! I gave myself to him like I had never done to anyone. He made me believe that he had left his wife, but he cheated on her and lied to me! WTF for! What did I do to him to deserve all this deceit? What did she do? He made me believe that she was a bad women, which now smells to me like cr*p! All I did was be good to him. I was so blind.

 

He made me feel so special, while in reality behind my back he was treating me like trash! I have never cheated because I think that when you are with someone you owe them respect or why be with them, but obviously all that is a bunch of BS! I am so ignorant for thinking like that!

 

I have promised myself that from now I will be a total different person. I am not going to allow myself to ever shed one more tear for any man!!!!! He ruined my dreams and my faith in love. He tore my heart in pieces. I don't even have the strength to cry anymore. All I feel is anger! I think I am emotionally drained after all this that happened. He has taken all my emotions right along with his lies. I'll stop here. He is such a worthless "person" that he does not even deserve hate from me, that is too big of an emotion to be wasted on trash.

 

From now on I will do exactly what he has done to me to whatever man comes my way. I'm through with LOVE! I am done with the hope pf finding someone who will really care! I am through believing anythin a man says!

[moimeme]

Married men who cheat are already liars. Bad bets. Not all men are rats, but cheaters are much closer to the rodent species, IMHO. Just stay away from any man who is snake enough to lie to somebody who loves him - because, as you found out, he'll lie to ANYBODY who loves him.

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

The bad thing is that you don't find out they are snakes until it's too late and they have poisoned you already!

[Naive]

I know how you feel. It hurts. However, you can't give up on love. Yeah maybe he is scum, but there's a decent man out there who really deserves you. Think about it this way; this MM only came into your life to help you appreciate and value when a good man comes into your life that cares for you and about you, so that you can tell the difference between and honorable man and a scum bag! Sometimes these hits that the life gives us are to help us appreciate the good things in life and to make us stronger.

 

If you need to chat with someone PM me.

[snilljente]

Be strong Touch....I had the same situation go down this summer...minus the wife...but all the lies and decent..they were there and I hadn't felt for a man like I did for this one for YEARS....he built up my trust (despite my hesitation) and like your man....abused the priviledge and deceived me in so many ways...I makes me wonder too if I should ever trust again..I mean this guy had me 150% convinced he was genuine....Like you, I don't ever want to let a man get to me like that again!!! Hang in there....

[snilljente]

I said minus the wife..but forgot to mention the 24 year old he had on the side.... so basically same issue..another woman was involved....

[Barby]

He made me believe that he had left his wife, but he cheated on her and lied to me! WTF for! What did I do to him to deserve all this deceit? What did she do? He made me believe that she was a bad women, which now smells to me like cr*p! All I did was be good to him. I was so blind.

 

When he said he was "seperated from his wife" wasn't there obvious signs he wasn't? Like him not staying all night with you? Only being available at certain times? If not then yes I can see even more how you would feel deceived but if the signs were there and since he did tell you his was married what did you expect?

 

No offense but did you expect a "happily ever after" I'm not trying to imply or be rude but I think that if a man is serious about not being with his wife anymore he should at least be pursuing a legal seperation and if that doesn't happen then how can you expect him not to go back and forth between the two of you?

 

I don't speak from experience of ever being with a MM cuz that's not my style BUT I'm really sorry to hear that you've been hurt so badly. NO ONE deserves to be lied to or deceived and it's good that you see that it's not HER fault either!

 

Good luck, I wish you the best in moving on and hopefully finding someone single and willing to be with JUST you.

[tokyo]

I´m sorry to say that, but I think having an affair with someone who is married is a waste of time, emotions and nerves. Not guys in general are the problem (hopefully I´m not telling nonsense here.... ), but the problem was that you went for the wrong guy. Try it with someone who is available and nice. Good luck.

[faux]

Your philosophy appears to be as follows:

 

Because this one man hurt you, and was a horrible person, all men therefore are horrible and will hurt you.

 

Based on this philosophy, and drawing from my own personal experiences, I should therefore not believe one word that you say as a woman, or show you any type of consideration or compassion. To me this makes no sense, as not every woman is evil and wants to hurt me. I have my wonderful mother to remind me of this fact.

 

Instead of hating all men, try instead to learn from this experience in another way. It is fine to be more skeptical of men now, as you know what could happen if you do not look out for yourself in the future. If you can, do not let this interfere in trusting others, but at the same time remember it is perfectly fine for you to take a while to feel that you can trust someone else again.

 

This situation somewhat reminds me of racial stereotypes. I will admit that I have met some very neurotic, tight-wad Jewish individuals, but it would be quite wrong of me to assume that all persons of the Jewish faith are like this. I have met people from all racial, religious, and ethnic backgrounds, and for every one that impresses me there is another who drives me up the wall. I think it is more sensible to think in terms of PEOPLE, and not races, and PEOPLE instead of men or women.

 

Not every PERSON in this world is good, but this does not mean that we are all evil.

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

Originally posted by Barby

When he said he was "seperated from his wife" wasn't there obvious signs he wasn't? Like him not staying all night with you? Only being available at certain times?

 

I don't speak from experience of ever being with a MM cuz that's not my style

 

He said that he had separated from his wife and I believed him because if I ever wanted him to come over, there he was. He would sleep over. Call me in the mornings. I could even call him and he would answer the phone. He took me to some house that was "his" house, but I guess that was another lie. It went so far that he would take me to family gatherings. His mom just covered for him, would she like someone to do that to her? He seemed so genuine. If I would have known that he was with her there is no way that I would have been in a relationship with him. I deserve to have someone for myself not to share someone! I guess he lied to her and made her miserable while he lied to me and made me the other woman.

 

Being with a MM is not my style either. I don't think it's a style. I was put in a situation where I was not asked if I wanted to be the other woman. The lying b*stard! He made it seem like he was all mine. I feel like if he made the decision for me whether I wanted to be with him or not.

 

Kooky,

 

I wish I would have known I was going for the wrong guy. He did not let me choose if I wanted to be with him even if he was with his wife. He made the decision for me by not telling me the truth! Believe me, if I would have known the truth I would have told him to F*ck off!!!!!!!!!!

 

I still don't understand what did I do to him so that he felt with the right to deceive me. What did his wife do to him so that he could be such an a**hole with her! Who does he think he is? What gave him the right to hurt his wife and me?

 

It's going to be hard for me to get passed this, but I have to do it.

[Barby]

Wow sounds like he comes from a family of no-gooders! His mom covered for him? How sad! No wonder you were fooled....since she hasn't shown him any better I doubt he'll ever change. I agree you didn't ask for the deceit and since it clearly seemed he was single I can see how you were unable to see that he wasn't seperated...since I didn't know your story I wasn't sure.

 

 

At least you've broken away from him, I hope that you don't allow him to come back and "talk his game" again...you seem a lot more self assured than that.

 

Good luck and I truly wish you the quickest recovery in mending your broken heart and moving on and finding someone who'll truly deserve you!

[Mr Spock]

Didn't you have a huge blow up with your sister about the fact that you were sleeping with a very married man? Did he just recently start saying that he had separated? From last month, or a month and a half ago, you were aware that they were still together, and that he (or them both) were family friends.

 

 

From what I understand, you entered into this situation with both eyes open. Now you're crying foul. It's OK to play the victim if you must to get over your feelings for this guy so you can move on-but you have to acknowledge the fact that you're doing so.

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

Originally posted by Mr Spock

Didn't you have a huge blow up with your sister about the fact that you were sleeping with a very married man? Did he just recently start saying that he had separated? From last month, or a month and a half ago, you were aware that they were still together, and that he (or them both) were family friends.

 

 

From what I understand, you entered into this situation with both eyes open. Now you're crying foul. It's OK to play the victim if you must to get over your feelings for this guy so you can move on-but you have to acknowledge the fact that you're doing so.

 

Like I said I knew that he was married to this girl, but he made it seem like he was separated, living his own life. He made it seem like he had his own home now and he had no contact with her. Even his brother will play along with his conniving little lies! If he would have told me straight up that he was with her and I decided to still be with him then I would take it like a woman and face my consequences, but all he did was lie the little b*stard! He lied to her and made her cry everytime he left to be with me while I was a fool and swallowed every word he fed me! His wife called me yesterday and explained to me that yes they were not getting along, but that's only because from day one he has cheated on her with other women, but that they were still living together. Ugggggghhhhhhhh, the cheating b*stard!

[Barby]

His wife called me yesterday and explained to me that yes they were not getting along, but that's only because from day one he has cheated on her with other women, but that they were still living together. Ugggggghhhhhhhh, the cheating b*stard!

 

 

 

This may sound harsh...but at least you know you're NOT the only one he did this too. I'm not saying he didn't care about you but it sounds more like he's trying to 'perfect' his game and getting better with each 'OW' he maintains. What a jerk! Well at least you know the truth now.

[Mr Spock]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t44859/

 

Sorry TON, I just remembered this post between the two of you and the fact you were upset about her telling the wife just spoke to me that you were well aware of what you were doing, as was he.

[Barby]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t44859/

 

Sorry TON, I just remembered this post between the two of you and the fact you were upset about her telling the wife just spoke to me that you were well aware of what you were doing, as was he.

 

Leave it up to Spock to get to the truth J/K

 

Well I keep adding my 2 cents but either way (even if you knew he was married and with her) and if you've known him since you were basically 12 well I'm think you could have known the truth but regardless this isn't the issue at hand...it

is hard to know why men do what they do and lie when they do...it's important that once you know they're doing this that you don't allow it to continue (at least not with you).

[Honesty]

So did you know or not?

[EC]

Sorry that happened to you but damn I know this will sound mean but it's the truth

 

"Shoulda listened to your sister huh?"

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

I never denied not knowing he was married and I will not deny it. That was about 2 months ago (when we first started getting serious). He would tell me that if his wife knew that he was seeing someone she would not let him see the baby. Always made her seem like a bad woman. My sister thought that smelled fishy, but I just did not want to jeoperdize him when it came to his daughter. He would make me feel guilty like if I did not care whether he saw the baby or not. I did not want to be the cause of him not seeing his baby. I wanted to make my sister understand that and she would tell me that she was going to tell her because it was the best thing, that it would be worse if she found out from somewhere else. When I talked to his wife yesterday she opened up my eyes. She has never threaten him. She said she would never put the baby in the middle. Everything was a bunch of BS! After a while he would bring me around his family and I assumed that she either knew or he had solved things with her in regards to the baby. I would take it like a woman and face all the consequences if I would have known the truth from the beginning.

[Touch_of_Naughtiness]

Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

Sorry that happened to you but damn I know this will sound mean but it's the truth

 

"Shoulda listened to your sister huh?"

 

Yeah I should have. Her intuition was right! All I can say now is f*ck that a**hole! Maybe if she would have told his W I would have found out the truth not HIS truth!

[Honesty]

That explains it.

 

Well it seems that you were not his first OW. He obviously has skills when it comes to lying. He knew what to tell you and how to manipulate you. If his wife knows that he has other WOMEN and is still there I feel bad for her. As for you, I hope this opens up your eyes and next time you will be more aware of who you are dating. Don't worry you are not the first to get played on and I am sure you will definitely noy be the last. Use this as an experience to grow.