Do dumpers feel bad about anything?

[KENTON22]

I was just curious. I wonder if the dumpers ever feel bad about hurting you? You give your best to someone, years build relationships with their family members and they leave you for an ex that treated them like crap. They get the easy part. The dumpee gets the hurt.

[CompleteFailure]

To be honest, I think every case is different. People with disorders who aren't able to feel that kind of empathy, no. Some people try to bury it, like to deflect it, until one day it catches up to them.

[na49]

Yes they do.

 

They may or may not tell you. but they do feel bad.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes they do.

 

They may or may not tell you. but they do feel bad.

 

I dunno...Maybe just initially..

 

As much as I hate to say this, they(dumpers) see this as moving up, moving in a forward direction and getting what they really want out of life. Once the initial guilt wears off, you(dumpee) are just like yesterdays news. Just another chapter in their life. Thats why you hear stories on this site about people stalking their ex and finding it shocking that they are carrying on all happy go lucky while they are at home crying in their beer.

 

I think dumpees like to think they had some profound effect on the other persons life. If it was so profound, they woudnt have left...

 

The point is who cares? They left you so you can find someone better than they are....Period. So quit crying in your beer and let someone else enjoy your company and think that you are the best thing that ever happened to them. Thats when you win at this game...

 

TFOY

[Kaiten]

The Fool said it all.

[witmadskilllz]

^ speaks the truth of all

[travelonic]

As much as I hate to say this, they(dumpers) see this as moving up,

 

The whole idea of GIGS, when apllicable, is exactly just that - it's a feeling, and only time will tell if it is right or not. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

 

moving in a forward direction and getting what they really want out of life. Once the initial guilt wears off, you(dumpee) are just like yesterdays news.

 

Again, it depends.

 

From the stories I've read here, that isn't always true.

 

You can put as many "periods" and whatnot you want, and say things like "point is, they still dumped you [Yeah, I know, but so what? That doesn't mean that you don't have curiosities about it as the dumpee - or that it is impossible the dumper will never have regrets and just move on like that which] but at the end of the day, gross generalizations miss the point: There are lots of variables involved - and no such thing as "one size fits all" - and this community alone PROVES exactly that.

 

Depending on why things went awry, who did what, etc - even things like having a condition like Aspergers for example - all affect things like guilt or lack thereof, feeligns later on, healing times, and if you did make a mistake, how long if EVER it takes to own up to it, etc.

 

Nothing can ever change that.

[youngnlove89]

I was just curious. I wonder if the dumpers ever feel bad about hurting you? You give your best to someone, years build relationships with their family members and they leave you for an ex that treated them like crap. They get the easy part. The dumpee gets the hurt.

 

 

Listen, dumpers are people too. They cared about you and they still do, but just in a different way. They didn't do this because they hate you and want to hurt you, they dumped you because they just weren't into you. It's that simple. Would you want to be with someone who you really don't like that way? That's what dating is all about, finding the one you want to be with.

 

They cherish the memories as much as you do and they think about you too and even miss you. But that's where people think wrong. Just because someone thinks of you or misses you, does not mean that they want to be with you. You were a part of their life and now you're not. You are technically "missing" from their life. But they made that decision that you weren't the one for them.

 

Dumping someone isn't easy. That's why dumpers contact an ex because they feel bad and guilty. They didn't want to hurt someone. And they contact you because they want to know that you forgive them and are okay. Not because they want you back. And gosh, did it take me forever to learn that!

 

As for your ex leaving you for an ex. That happens sometimes. It's not fun and it sucks, but it happens. Just don't let them do that to you. The ex before you felt the same way you do right now.

 

Be strong. Move on. Get some ice-cream and find someone who wants to be with you.

[thefooloftheyear]

The whole idea of GIGS, when apllicable, is exactly just that - it's a feeling, and only time will tell if it is right or not. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

 

 

 

Again, it depends.

 

From the stories I've read here, that isn't always true.

 

You can put as many "periods" and whatnot you want, and say things like "point is, they still dumped you [Yeah, I know, but so what? That doesn't mean that you don't have curiosities about it as the dumpee - or that it is impossible the dumper will never have regrets and just move on like that which] but at the end of the day, gross generalizations miss the point: There are lots of variables involved - and no such thing as "one size fits all" - and this community alone PROVES exactly that.

 

Depending on why things went awry, who did what, etc - even things like having a condition like Aspergers for example - all affect things like guilt or lack thereof, feeligns later on, healing times, and if you did make a mistake, how long if EVER it takes to own up to it, etc.

 

Nothing can ever change that.

 

I dont know what stories you are reading, but I am not hearing of many reconciliations on here. I just think its VERY rare. People do get together, but you see more often than not, they just replay the same story..Breakup.

 

TFOY