Diabetes and sex problems

[Tina]

My boyfriend (36) has diabetes, the most common type, and has to prick his finger tips every day to check his blood sugar.

 

Sometimes when we have sex it is too short(fast) for me and I end up unsatisfied, but I am afraid to tell this to him without making him upset.

 

Once I told him I wanted to do it again and he replied, "I can't. It's not working," meaning his 'organ' was out of commission.

 

Another time when the sex had been very satisfying he woke up the next morning terrified that his blood sugar had gone out of control.

 

It is very emotionally draining for me to deal with his strange sex-affected moods and I try not to take it personally, but it is really hard.

 

How can I tell him in a nice way to be more considerate of me even though he is sick? I don't want to upset him, but I think I am emotionally suffering just as much as he is with his condition, and he doesn't realize this.

 

Do these problems relate to his medical condition, or could they be more of a psychological problem he has?

[sparkle]

About the sex, maybe you two could engage in a longer foreplay session to give you more pleasure. What you do before actually having sex and what you do afterwards is what's considered the whole process of lovemaking and is usually much more satisfying than a quickie. During sex, he should be trying to please you rather than just taking..taking..taking..and then rolling over and going to sleep.

 

Talk to him about all this. Maybe he doesn't realize that it's bothering you. Tell him pretty much everything you said in this post.

 

Also, have him speak to his doctor as soon as possible about this. Maybe even his primary care physician could initially give some advice before he needs to see a specialist.

 

But even so, communicate with him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Do sound concerned rather than annoyed/upset when you tell him. If this man loves you and cares about pleasing you, he'll be more than willing to speak to a doctor about this.

[Nic]

ok. i didn't go to university for nothing, so i'll fill you in on what i know:

 

people who use insulin need to consider and plan for the effects of sexual activity on their overall condition, especially the possibility of a low blood sugar after sex. here are some measures that can help prevent such a reaction.

 

test your blood sugar before having sex. as annoying as this may seem, it is preferable to having to manage severe low blood glucose afterward.

 

eat just before or right after active sex, just as you do with exercise.

 

consider having a snack before going to sleep.

 

people who use an insulin pump may want to unhook it during lovemaking to help avoid a low blood sugar reaction. the length of time the pump can be kept off without an injection will depend on your activity level while off the pump.

 

the best way for a man with diabetes to avoid physiological impotence is to maintain good blood glucose control, as well as avoid smoking, decrease alcohol intake and keep blood pressure normal. but when impotence becomes a concern, a frank discussion with your doctor can get to the root of the problem.

 

he probably feels anxious and embarrassed about this. i know you're suffering too, but the more understanding you show towards him, the less anxious he will feel. tell him you sense his anxiety, and that there is a solution to this.

 

i'd suggest taking a look at www.diabetes.com. they have a whole chapter dedicated to diabetes and sexual problems related to it, that would really be worth having a look at.

 

My boyfriend (36) has diabetes, the most common type, and has to prick his finger tips every day to check his blood sugar. Sometimes when we have sex it is too short(fast) for me and I end up unsatisfied, but I am afraid to tell this to him without making him upset.

 

Once I told him I wanted to do it again and he replied, "I can't. It's not working," meaning his 'organ' was out of commission. Another time when the sex had been very satisfying he woke up the next morning terrified that his blood sugar had gone out of control. It is very emotionally draining for me to deal with his strange sex-affected moods and I try not to take it personally, but it is really hard. How can I tell him in a nice way to be more considerate of me even though he is sick? I don't want to upset him, but I think I am emotionally suffering just as much as he is with his condition, and he doesn't realize this. Do these problems relate to his medical condition, or could they be more of a psychological problem he has?

[Deejette]

Diabetes is a very serious illness and people die from it, can lose their sight, or have their legs amputated (like Ella Fitzgerald) if it gets out of control. So I can understand why it is so scary to your bf. When you are involved with someone who has a disease, that disease always has to be taken into account.

 

For example, if your bf had a bad heart condition, he would also have to be careful about his activities and you would have to work around it.

 

So, if you want to stay with him, you will have to accept that his problems are your problems too, to a degree.

 

There are other ways of attaining satisfaction besides intercourse. Talk gently with him and start suggesting other alternatives, so you can both be happy.

ok. i didn't go to university for nothing, so i'll fill you in on what i know: people who use insulin need to consider and plan for the effects of sexual activity on their overall condition, especially the possibility of a low blood sugar after sex. here are some measures that can help prevent such a reaction.

 

test your blood sugar before having sex. as annoying as this may seem, it is preferable to having to manage severe low blood glucose afterward.

 

eat just before or right after active sex, just as you do with exercise. consider having a snack before going to sleep.

 

people who use an insulin pump may want to unhook it during lovemaking to help avoid a low blood sugar reaction. the length of time the pump can be kept off without an injection will depend on your activity level while off the pump. the best way for a man with diabetes to avoid physiological impotence is to maintain good blood glucose control, as well as avoid smoking, decrease alcohol intake and keep blood pressure normal. but when impotence becomes a concern, a frank discussion with your doctor can get to the root of the problem. he probably feels anxious and embarrassed about this. i know you're suffering too, but the more understanding you show towards him, the less anxious he will feel. tell him you sense his anxiety, and that there is a solution to this. i'd suggest taking a look at www.diabetes.com. they have a whole chapter dedicated to diabetes and sexual problems related to it, that would really be worth having a look at.