stubadub Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I am looking for a little advice on what to do. I found out that my fiance has been seeing a married man that she works with. I know who the guy is and I also know who is wife is. He is telling her that they are going to get divorced but does not want to tell his wife about his infidelity. I know he is lying to her and I think she deserves to know the truth. I would like to know if someone knew that information. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 She does have a right to know. I believe anyone has this right. I would want to know. I feel sorry for you, and this married woman. I guess you now know that your fiancée isn't so great; least you found out before years of marriage. Do what you think is right....but do not do so out of revenge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I think his wife deserves to know the truth, too. So tell her. Show her what evidence you have. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 If you have evidence to support their affair, that would be a good thing to have before exposing it to the BW. She may be more reseptive with proof. However, don't be surprised if she is not happy with you for shattering her image of her marriage. Of course that would not be your fault, but sometimes people lash at at the first available target. You do need to tell her though. She has a right to know. I am sorry you are going through this pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I take it you mean your 'ex-fiancée'....? This needs exposing, and she needs dumping. Plain and simple. (If you've given her a ring, make sure you get it back, ok?) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Don't expose her. It will only make you look revengeful and she'll hate you for it. Plus, there's no telling what this MM would do to you. I know it's hard to keep quite, but just think of the satisfaction you will endure when you reject her a few weeks or months from now when she comes crawling back after realizing he is never leaving his wife. They never do. You can be the one to tell her "I told you so, now f*** off whore." Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Don't expose her. It will only make you look revengeful and she'll hate you for it. Plus, there's no telling what this MM would do to you. I know it's hard to keep quite, but just think of the satisfaction you will endure when you reject her a few weeks or months from now when she comes crawling back after realizing he is never leaving his wife. They never do. You can be the one to tell her "I told you so, now f*** off whore." I forgot to add, if you really want the wife to know, let it be known in a way that doesn't come back to you. Have one of your female friends call his house or something and ask for him, then hang up when the wife says "who's this". Leave clues to make her suspicious so she will investigate on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Don't expose her. It will only make you look revengeful and she'll hate you for it. Plus, there's no telling what this MM would do to you. I know it's hard to keep quite, but just think of the satisfaction you will endure when you reject her a few weeks or months from now when she comes crawling back after realizing he is never leaving his wife. They never do. You can be the one to tell her "I told you so, now f*** off whore." 1. Who cares if it's vengeful or not. 2. Who cares what his (hopefully ex) fiance thinks about it. 3. If it goes the way these things usually do, the MM will throw the fling under the bus and try to patch things up with his wife. Who, because the OP told her the truth, will tell her soon-to-be exhusband to piss up a rope. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 3. If it goes the way these things usually do, the MM will throw the fling under the bus and try to patch things up with his wife. Who, because the OP told her the truth, will tell her soon-to-be exhusband to piss up a rope. Exactly. It's going to end regardless or not if he tells the wife. At least he can laugh in her face when she comes crawling back to him once she is all alone and realizes she made a mistake in leaving her fiancé. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 These two bits of advice are frankly, in my opinion, wrong. That's playing mind games and just adding more lies to lies. Why overcomplicate things? It's ridiculous to say nothing and to permit two dysfunctional people to carry on messing up innocent peoples' lives. And getting a third party involved to fabricate another layer of deceit?? Oh, please..... stupid games..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 These two bits of advice are frankly, in my opinion, wrong. That's playing mind games and just adding more lies to lies. Why overcomplicate things? It's ridiculous to say nothing and to permit two dysfunctional people to carry on messing up innocent peoples' lives. And getting a third party involved to fabricate another layer of deceit?? Oh, please..... stupid games..... Tried to edit: With reference to posts # 6 & 7..... Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yeah...and what she did was far female a mistake. MM too. Better then spending years more with someone...before finding out. Whether it's a week or years...I'd rather not waste my life on this crap. Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 These two bits of advice are frankly, in my opinion, wrong. That's playing mind games and just adding more lies to lies. Why overcomplicate things? It's ridiculous to say nothing and to permit two dysfunctional people to carry on messing up innocent peoples' lives. And getting a third party involved to fabricate another layer of deceit?? Oh, please..... stupid games..... I see what you are saying, but why involve himself with the drama? She's a POS who doesn't deserve another minute of his time and efforts. The wife probably already suspects something and if she doesn't, she will eventually find out. Even if he tells the wife, it's no guarantee she's going to leave her cheating husband. We've seen it happen a million times on here; they usually end up working it out. Its also not a guarantee that MM is going to dump the fiance. He may even bring ex fiancé and MM closer by getting involved. (At least after things calm down after d-day.) I still say let her suffer in the affair. She's probably in her happy bubble right now and doesn't realize just how complicated and emotionally draining an affair can be. To me, that's even more revengeful than anything. I wouldn't wish being the OW on anyone! Let her feel what it's really like after a few months of accepting the breadcrumbs of this man. Link to post Share on other sites
neveragain34 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 He is telling her that they are going to get divorced but does not want to tell his wife about his infidelity. I know he is lying to her and I think she deserves to know the truth. I would like to know if someone knew that information. Any thoughts? Wait a minute, after rereading this I'm confused about who you want to tell the truth to. Are you wanting to tell your fiancé that this MM is lying and never leaving his wife? Or are you wanting to tell the MM's wife about the affair? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Maybe I'm confused, but nowhere does the OP say or imply that his 'fiancée' doesn't know he knows..... How do we know she is still blissfully unaware, exactly? And how did he find out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Be glad she showed her true colors before marriage. It is better for this to happen now than a few years into the marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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