what should I do?

[kim]

Well i have been with the same guy for almost 8 months. He is 22 and i am 20. He has slept with one person before and I am still a virgin. I really think that I am ready to have sex with him. But I want to be safe, so I am going find out about getting on the pill. Basically I want to know if things will change between me and the guy I am dating after we have sex. I can tell that he cares about me, and I care about him too. I haven't had sex yet because I am insecure, and I was worried that I would place too big of a significance on the guy that I chose to be with, and ultimately ruin the relationship. This posting probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense, but sometimes it just feels good to tell someone about your worries.

[sparkle]

This guy has been with you for 8 months, 8 months WITHOUT sex. This shows that he must really care about you and sex isn't the only thing he wants from you. Otherwise he would've tried to do it sooner with you or broken up with you a long time ago if that's what he wanted. Not too many guys these days wait as long. Sounds like you have a good catch on your hands.

 

But whether you've been going out for 8 days, 8 weeks or 8 months isn't the big issue. The question is, are YOU ready to have sex?

think that I am ready to have sex with him. But

Think about the reasons why you want to have sex with him.

 

1. Are you having relationship troubles and think it will solve things or make him like you more?

 

2. Is he putting a great deal of pressure on you?

 

3. Are you trying to have a baby by this guy and make him stay with you? (just checking, there are lots of girls out there that do this)

 

Or 4. You WANT to do it, and not for the reasons above. You care about this guy and you want to make love to him.

 

I'm pretty sure it's not 1, 2, and definitely not 3 because you don't want to get pregnant.

I want to be safe, so I am going find out about getting on the pill.

Only you know when you're ready to. And it seems like you're prepared and well informed. Talk to your doctor about the different methods of birth control. (By the way,

 

if you feel embarrassed by talking to your doctor about this, then you're not ready). Ask questions. Learn about the pros and cons of each method, whether it's a condom or a pill. Make sure you learn about protecting yourself from 1. unwanted pregnancy, and 2. STD's.

Basically I want to know if things will change between me and the guy I am dating after we have sex. I can tell that he

You two have been dating for many months. The only thing that might change after sex is that you might have a closer bond with this guy, and making love would be yet another way of showing how much you two care about each other. If he's not a jerk, his feelings will NOT change for the worse.

had sex yet because I am insecure, and I was worried that I would place too big of a significance on the guy that I chose to be with, and ultimately ruin the relationship.

And if you two communicate well, it shouldn't be a problem.

 

Talk to him about it. Tell him what makes you feel insecure. Are you scared? It's okay to be scared. Losing your virginity is a scary thing. And you're young. He's young too. And even though he's had sex before, it's only been once. Chances are, he might be feeling the same way too.

This posting probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense, but sometimes it just feels good to tell someone about your worries.

Don't worry. It made sense to me. I'm 21, and I've gone through the same thing. I remember when I first had sex and I know how it feels and how you worry about things when you're thinking about having sex for the first time with someone new. And yes, it feels great to talk to someone.

 

Take care.

[kim]

thank you for your help, you put me be a little more at ease. I want to have sex with him, because I care about him a lot. He isn't pressuring me into anything, actually he was the one that stopped the other night when we were fooling around with each other. He wanted to make sure that we were ready, and that we were being safe. So I told him that I was going to talk to a doctor, about being placed on the pill, and he is going to wear a condom. I guess if we have been together for 8 months and this past weekend was the first weekend that we came even close to having sex, then he must truly care about me as I care about him. I plan on talking to him about my worries and concerns about having sex. Anyway thank you for listening to me, I feel a lot better.

[cj]

Well i have been with the same guy for almost 8 months. He is 22 and i am 20. He has slept with one person before and I am still a virgin. I really think that I am ready to have sex with him. But I want to be safe, so I am going find out about getting on the pill. Basically I want to know if things will change between me and the guy I am dating after we have sex. I can tell that he cares about me, and I care about him too. I haven't had sex yet because I am insecure, and I was worried that I would place too big of a significance on the guy that I chose to be with, and ultimately ruin the relationship. This posting probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense, but sometimes it just feels good to tell someone about your worries.

stop wrong way to go dont have sex with him dont give in to soon realax if you want to give yourself to him tell him you dont want to do it rather tell him you wuold like to make LOVE to him and you suggest he must do the same

 

AND TELL HIM TO TAKE IT EASAY PLEASE .

 

enjoy the rollercoster ride

 

see you in a wile crocidile

[Deejette]

It doesn't sound like you are really in love with this guy and you are making a rational decision based on how long you have been going out. It is best to be really in love for your first all-the-way experience.

 

Once you have started with this, it will become expected as part of your relationship. It is not a 1-time thing. So, listen to cj and remember the love aspect of it.

stop wrong way to go dont have sex with him dont give in to soon realax if you want to give yourself to him tell him you dont want to do it rather tell him you wuold like to make LOVE to him and you suggest he must do the same AND TELL HIM TO TAKE IT EASAY PLEASE . enjoy the rollercoster ride see you in a wile crocidile