Improudofme Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Therapy brings up weird issues. My WS spent time in individual therapy, and we talked about issues I can't understand, we have made so much progress--but the one I really don't understand is this- this has been 3 years---He stated-he felt in love with the AP but knew he would never want to be with her- Yet he almost left us for her- yet he almost destroyed our family. Confusing?? - That is what I feel. When asked why he knew he could never be with her is because - she was referred to as the company bicycle. She was a woman at the office that everyone knew would sleep with them. She ran around the office saying to everyone - that she knew why men in the office liked her- because she was FUN. ??? She went to strip clubs with out of town guests and everyone knew she would drive home these out of towners and make them happy. He stated he knew he couldn't spend his life with her because - everyone would laugh at him and he would always have to wonder who she had been with. He would never be able to bring her to any company outings because everyone would laugh at him. So here goes my confusion- she slept with everyone - he took advantage of this - slept with her - but started a major relationship with her - when everyone else just used her - he went completely down a line of falling in love. He spent money on her he had a real RELATIONSHIP. When discovered he kept it up. He mouthed in therapy all of the above but he still felt deeply for her. - WTH???? But he was in love with her???? He has stated - he didn't think he could ever allow this woman around our impressionable teenagers - because he wouldn't want them to turn out like her??? She was very proud of her sexual prowess and he didn't want our girls to get advice from her on any matter. WTH???? How was he going to continue a realtionship with his daughters and keep them away from his partner?? How in the heck - Do you fall in love with someone you don't feel is morally OK??? Or with someone you would be ashamed of?????? He always talks about how they went to dinner after work one evening and talked and immediately she asked him over to screw the next day and he said to himself- Damn- she's a sl*t. But then he went head first into a LOVE type of relationship. Everyone else just slept with her- - which by the way she liked because as she states--she was sexually liberated and can do whatever she wants. I can't wrap my head around it. We truly almost got divorced because he felt so deeply for someone he was too embarrassed to go out with. Were they going to live in a cave for the rest of their lives?? Are there any WS out there that can help me wrap my head around what happened????? 3 years out and we are almost completely R'd but I really cannot get passed this. It is just so confusing?? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Let me just put it this way: His definition of 'love' is totally skewed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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