High Standards, Good or Bad?

[Zelias]

I've met some beautiful girls in my lifetime. We're talking about 7 to 10's. Surprisingly, I've had a really good shot at them too, but I never took it upon myself to do something about it. it was not a lack of confidence, it was that I really have high standards when it comes to girls. You see, you could say that I'm picky, and I mean very picky, but in the end I just want the right girl for me. I don't just look at hotness of a girl, but personality, how tall she is (5 10" to 5 6" is perfect), she can't be too blonde, nor too black in the hair, no fakes, as in parts of the body, no big teeth, some girls have big foreheads than others, don't like that, and she can't smoke, is a light drinker, does not want kids or marriage, and my list goes on, so yeah, I'm highly picky and have way too high standards for a girl, however most of my friends told me that I will never have a gf or meet anyone to these standards I speak of, they were wrong, I actually met 3 girls at a certain point in time and had everything I was looking for. The only problem, they had bf's, so despite my pickiness and standards, I was still able to meet girls that were ideal for me, what do you think of high standards and about picky people when it comes to choosing the opposite sex?

[WhoreyBull]

You won't have a girlfriend, but you might meet a nice black-and-blonde unicorn someday.

 

You can find ideal girls, but you weren't ideal to any of them... what does that say about your standards do you think?

I find the "overly" picky people generally have standards that overreach themselves.

[Els]

I don't just look at hotness of a girl, but personality, how tall she is (5 10" to 5 6" is perfect), she can't be too blonde, nor too black in the hair, no fakes, as in parts of the body, no big teeth, some girls have big foreheads than others, don't like that, and she can't smoke, is a light drinker, does not want kids or marriage

 

Wait what?

 

Good luck, OP.

[reaver]

Yes, you are insanely picky.

 

Your physical requirements are ridiculous. I understand people have a few dealbreakers with looks, nobody doesnt have none, but the pickiness and volume of your physical attraction turnoffs says alot.

 

Good luck finding that girl who meets your laundry list of requirements.

 

Id be very curious to see what YOU bring to the table looks and personality wise. Id bet good money you dont meet the requirements of your ideal matches. Basically, if you find your ideal girl she is "settling" for you essentially.

[man_in_the_box]

I personally think a good approach is to aim what you have yourself to offer - unless you have some specific reason to adjust your standards up or down.

[candie13]

if you don't want a girl who wants kids and marriage... i think most of your physical criteria will go down the drain because the large majority of women I know want that... or date women in their 40's who have no wish to have any(more) kids and have no wish to marry (again).

 

Sorry, don't get why you'd say it's not just the physical traits, other than her being a light drinker and the marriage /kids stuff, all the rest of the criteria are physical... ain't nothing wrong with having high standards, whatever rocks your boat, man, I mean if you don't have a turn on unless the girl specifically responds to all your criteria... you should stick to them. you're attracted to what you're attracted. When you'll see you can't get what you're aiming for, you'll naturally revisit your standards...

 

cheers

[ComeUpOutDaWahta]

Yeah yeah yeah, whatever man. You list all these criteria your potential mate has to meet, but trust me, you're going to meet some women in your life that make you throw all of that out the window.

 

I used to think I liked taller blondes with long hair, then I met a fantastic brunette with short, curly hair that made me the happiest man in the world for many years.

 

Thing is, you can't exactly control what you're attracted to. Sometimes it just... happens.

[ltjg45]

Yeah yeah yeah, whatever man. You list all these criteria your potential mate has to meet, but trust me, you're going to meet some women in your life that make you throw all of that out the window.

 

I used to think I liked taller blondes with long hair, then I met a fantastic brunette with short, curly hair that made me the happiest man in the world for many years.

 

Thing is, you can't exactly control what you're attracted to. Sometimes it just... happens.

 

I can't worry about that unless I find such a female. Even if I do, I still have to recognize her and to approach her.

 

If I get through all of that with my hand and penis still attached, I still needs her approval.

 

That is not the kind of test I expect to pass with any woman, let alone "the one". What would she see in me that would make her accept me?

 

Physical attraction goes both ways. I'm failing in that regard and I'm too broke to be able to fix it quickly.

[Zelias]

if you don't want a girl who wants kids and marriage... i think most of your physical criteria will go down the drain because the large majority of women I know want that... or date women in their 40's who have no wish to have any(more) kids and have no wish to marry (again).

 

Sorry, don't get why you'd say it's not just the physical traits, other than her being a light drinker and the marriage /kids stuff, all the rest of the criteria are physical... ain't nothing wrong with having high standards, whatever rocks your boat, man, I mean if you don't have a turn on unless the girl specifically responds to all your criteria... you should stick to them. you're attracted to what you're attracted. When you'll see you can't get what you're aiming for, you'll naturally revisit your standards...

 

cheers

 

thank you sir, despite my insane standards, my main concern is finding a woman that just does not want to marry and not have kids, this is a tough one for me, mainly because look at society today, in my view, this is not a good time period to have and raise children, there is too much going on and besides, there are far too many humans on this earth anyway, but thanks for your input.

[Zelias]

Yes, you are insanely picky.

 

Your physical requirements are ridiculous. I understand people have a few dealbreakers with looks, nobody doesnt have none, but the pickiness and volume of your physical attraction turnoffs says alot.

 

Good luck finding that girl who meets your laundry list of requirements.

 

Id be very curious to see what YOU bring to the table looks and personality wise. Id bet good money you dont meet the requirements of your ideal matches. Basically, if you find your ideal girl she is "settling" for you essentially.

 

let me tell you a little about myself

 

-I enjoy sports, soccer, volleyball, golf, and many others

-I compose music in my free time, orchestral & symphonic to be specific

-I don't like to drink, nor smoke

-I draw

-I majored in Computer Engineering, have a bachelor's and a good paying job

-I own my own home

-I like quiet

 

personality wise & looks

 

funny, quiet, serious, I don't like conflict, have had no interest in leading others, I plainly believe that people can make their own smart decisions and enjoy their own way of life, flexible, not very open minded, it takes a while to get to know me, but I can be one of your best friends and be willing to commit to a good relationship with anyone, as for my dating, well you already got that, for looks, I'm 5 '11, weigh 190, average looking guy, I have many flaws and I have things in life that I want to accomplish. I'm no tall, dark and handsome, and have a 6-pack. I'm an average guy trying to make it in life and I have set goals for myself...........even if some of them are insanely picky. This is who I am.

[MrCastle]

My standards are astronomically high. But I think it's a good thing.

 

I refuse to settle, and this is not just in dating, this is in every area of my life.

 

I know that, because of this, whoever I decide to finally settle down with is going to be an amazing person.

[reaver]

My standards are:

 

maturity

respect for women

not a liar

not being overly selfish and thinking about other people more than once in awhile

 

Apparently those standards eliminate most men

[man_in_the_box]

My standards are astronomically high. But I think it's a good thing.

 

I refuse to settle, and this is not just in dating, this is in every area of my life.

 

I know that, because of this, whoever I decide to finally settle down with is going to be an amazing person.

 

Do you consider yourself 'top of the bill' or do you think you can attain your goals by perseverence and determination? Just curious.

[MrCastle]

Do you consider yourself 'top of the bill' or do you think you can attain your goals by perseverence and determination? Just curious.

 

Hmmm.

 

Well, I am always striving to better myself and I never get complacent.

 

I'd say personality wise, I'm where I want to be. I have a lot of positive qualities, I have a wide variety of things I'm into. I'd say my personality is as well rounded as it's going to get.

 

I'm still in school so my career has not yet taken off and I'd say that's really the only thing I'm concerned about now and the only thing holding me back.

 

I don't think I am currently in the position to get the "top of the bill" necessarily, but I think I can and will get there soon.

 

Once my career is established, I don't see any reason why not.

[man_in_the_box]

Sounds like a balanced and wide perspective to become your ideal. I've always preferred that over picking one single aspect and obsessing, investing and lementing endlessly over it. Good luck with getting there.

[Els]

-I enjoy sports, soccer, volleyball, golf, and many others

-I compose music in my free time, orchestral & symphonic to be specific

-I don't like to drink, nor smoke

-I draw

-I majored in Computer Engineering, have a bachelor's and a good paying job

-I own my own home

-I like quiet

 

Virtually all of these traits will not matter to most women who are not interested in marriage, IMO. If marriage is never going to happen, who cares about your job, education, or whether you own your own home? Your physical traits and knowing how to show a girl a good time (partying etc) is likely to matter more to the girls who are happy to have short-term fun with a guy. Okay, maybe the money does matter if you spoil her with it...

 

I'm no tall, dark and handsome, and have a 6-pack.

 

Uh, what?

[Zelias]

Virtually all of these traits will not matter to most women who are not interested in marriage, IMO. If marriage is never going to happen, who cares about your job, education, or whether you own your own home? Your physical traits and knowing how to show a girl a good time (partying etc) is likely to matter more to the girls who are happy to have short-term fun with a guy. Okay, maybe the money does matter if you spoil her with it...

 

 

 

Uh, what?

 

thank you for your input, I understand where you are coming from and you make a good point, my hardest goal in life is just to find a girl that is not looking for marriage and it's difficult. As for the tall, dark and handsome thing that was just something of me saying I'm imperfect, that's all.

[WhoreyBull]

thank you for your input, I understand where you are coming from and you make a good point, my hardest goal in life is just to find a girl that is not looking for marriage and it's difficult. As for the tall, dark and handsome thing that was just something of me saying I'm imperfect, that's all.

 

I think what you need to clarify is what you mean by a girl who is "not looking for marriage".

Are you talking about someone who doesn't want to get married because they are against the institution, but are just willing to hang around with you for all their lives? Or are you talking about short-term liaise-faire kind of relationship?

 

The issue is, the kind of girl who fits into either category and is stunning is going to be extremely hard to get since the nature of that sort of woman includes her being extremely independent... So if a girl is beautiful and doesn't need a partner... why does she want imperfect you?

If you aren't tall, dark, and handsome (i.e short, light, and ugly?) do you think a 6-pack is going to make it up to a woman who is the full package?

It seems you are dreaming of a perfect woman who wants to be with you simply because she is crazy for you... but she's also cool with never getting married... because?

What are the motivations of this small fore-headed wonder woman?

[Woggle]

It is good to have high standards but be realistic and be willing to live up to the standards you set for others.

 

If you don't want marriage or kids find a woman that doesn't want those things either. Just come right out and say you don't want those things and you are bound find somebody that feels the same. Look out for the ones who make it their mission to change your mind though.

[Pyro]

I've met some beautiful girls in my lifetime. We're talking about 7 to 10's. Surprisingly, I've had a really good shot at them too, but I never took it upon myself to do something about it. it was not a lack of confidence, it was that I really have high standards when it comes to girls. You see, you could say that I'm picky, and I mean very picky, but in the end I just want the right girl for me. I don't just look at hotness of a girl, but personality, how tall she is (5 10" to 5 6" is perfect), she can't be too blonde, nor too black in the hair, no fakes, as in parts of the body, no big teeth, some girls have big foreheads than others, don't like that, and she can't smoke, is a light drinker, does not want kids or marriage, and my list goes on, so yeah, I'm highly picky and have way too high standards for a girl, however most of my friends told me that I will never have a gf or meet anyone to these standards I speak of, they were wrong, I actually met 3 girls at a certain point in time and had everything I was looking for. The only problem, they had bf's, so despite my pickiness and standards, I was still able to meet girls that were ideal for me, what do you think of high standards and about picky people when it comes to choosing the opposite sex?

 

Unrealistic high standards is bad.

 

Realistic high standards is just fine.

 

Never settle for anything less than you deserve.

[Zelias]

I think what you need to clarify is what you mean by a girl who is "not looking for marriage".

Are you talking about someone who doesn't want to get married because they are against the institution, but are just willing to hang around with you for all their lives? Or are you talking about short-term liaise-faire kind of relationship?

 

The issue is, the kind of girl who fits into either category and is stunning is going to be extremely hard to get since the nature of that sort of woman includes her being extremely independent... So if a girl is beautiful and doesn't need a partner... why does she want imperfect you?

If you aren't tall, dark, and handsome (i.e short, light, and ugly?) do you think a 6-pack is going to make it up to a woman who is the full package?

It seems you are dreaming of a perfect woman who wants to be with you simply because she is crazy for you... but she's also cool with never getting married... because?

What are the motivations of this small fore-headed wonder woman?

 

For the marriage part, the "against the institution" thing, second question, everyone is imperfect, even the beautiful gals have flaws, no way around it. If a girl is not looking for a partner, she wouldn't want anyone for that fact, so imperfect me would really not care because she wants to be single her whole life. I think most woman, not all, like their men with some sort of 4-pack, or 6-pack, I don't know why, but I'm assuming it's an attractive appeal to them. I do not dream of the perfect woman, it sounds and looks like it, but I do not. I see these things as requirements, very difficult requirements, but things I look for in a woman. For the big fore-head thing, I just don't find it attractive, period. There is not much I can say there. It's like picking a shoe color, do you like black, brown or white? it's what I prefer.

[Zelias]

It is good to have high standards but be realistic and be willing to live up to the standards you set for others.

 

If you don't want marriage or kids find a woman that doesn't want those things either. Just come right out and say you don't want those things and you are bound find somebody that feels the same. Look out for the ones who make it their mission to change your mind though.

 

There is nothing in this world that could convince me to have children. There is just way too much S.H.I.T going on in the world to even bring in kids. Plus, not to mention, there are 7 billion of us on this rock, I personally do not think we need anymore people as it stands. I will continue to search for woman who do not want kids.

[soccerrprp]

My standards are:

 

maturity

respect for women

not a liar

not being overly selfish and thinking about other people more than once in awhile

 

Apparently those standards eliminate most men

 

You kill me, reaver!

[Emilia]

funny, quiet, serious, I don't like conflict, have had no interest in leading others, I plainly believe that people can make their own smart decisions and enjoy their own way of life, flexible, not very open minded, it takes a while to get to know me, but I can be one of your best friends and be willing to commit to a good relationship with anyone, as for my dating, well you already got that, for looks, I'm 5 '11, weigh 190, average looking guy, I have many flaws and I have things in life that I want to accomplish. I'm no tall, dark and handsome, and have a 6-pack. I'm an average guy trying to make it in life and I have set goals for myself...........even if some of them are insanely picky. This is who I am.

 

You sound pretty passive so whatever your standards are, more assertive men will get to those girls faster. That's the real reason why you are single.

[soccerrprp]

Having so-called high standards is not a good or bad thing, or both...

 

It's a great thing if it works out for you, but not so good if it doesn't. Wow, pretty astute of me, huh?

 

As someone mentioned, if your standards do not bear fruit time and time again, there is something serious wrong with the expectations. You live by the sword, you die by it.

 

I find that I have pretty high standards, but like others have also said, I tend to forget some of them when I find someone that I'm inexplicably attracted to. When this happens, I modify my standard b/c I realize that some of my expectations really aren't necessary. Not settling mind you, simply realizing that my original expectations may/may not have been reasonable in the first place.

 

It also makes me feel a little better knowing that there is one less obstacle to finding someone FOR ME.