Are there any women here that don't get attached after sex?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Just curious if I am a weirdo.

 

I know biologically, women are supposed to bond after they had sex with a man. For me it doesn't work that way. If I really like a guy before sex, I will like him after sex, more so if the sex is good, less so if the sax is bad.

 

If I am lukewarm/not sure...having sex with him may even turn me off more, since it feels kind of wrong to even be doing it with him. It makes me lose interest.

 

So it doesn't really make much difference either way.

[SmileFace]

Yea... but it is pretty obvious I have some issues.

 

However it is easy for me to see sex as just sex.

So it really doesn't make me feel closer to a guy.

 

It is all the other stuff that gets me attached.

Good communication, dates, same interests and sex = great

Decent guy and sex = blah

 

I can get sex anywhere.

 

I am more likely to like a guy more when we are not having sex at all.

Weird...

[reaver]

I only get attached if I really like him.

 

I havent done this in a long time, but when I was younger and didnt know what I wanted in a guy, I dated a few who I didnt like too much and after having sex with them, I actually didnt feel anything. I remember one guy in particular said that women always get attached after sex, we slept together that night. I think we had been dating like 2 months? I was 21 and he was 26. I told him I wasnt feeling it a week later so I didnt want to continue to see him. He seemed shocked. Alot of men seem to think they can get any girl to fall for him as long as they screw. Not the case.

 

Now I only sleep with a guy I really like, but only after I get to know him a bit. I dont do casual sex.

[mesmerized]

I only get attached if the sex is extremely good. Otherwise, I don't get attached to men because of sex but because of other things I like about them.

[Emilia]

I only get attached if there is something in him that elicits that response. That tends to be with men who are affectionate and seem to desire attachment themselves. That doesn't always turn into something that lasts but they are the ones that I get attached to. There tends to be a mutual click of a sort that goes beyond sex basically.

[mesmerized]

Yea... but it is pretty obvious I have some issues.

 

However it is easy for me to see sex as just sex.

So it really doesn't make me feel closer to a guy.

 

It is all the other stuff that gets me attached.

Good communication, dates, same interests and sex = great

Decent guy and sex = blah

 

I can get sex anywhere.

 

I am more likely to like a guy more when we are not having sex at all.

Weird...

 

Not weird at all. In fact, most women are probably like us. Only the insecure girls get attached to any guy they touch.

[missy268]

The last guy i slept with, we were bonded before we had sex. We had a 3 year friendship, we had wanted to be physical for a very long time.

 

When we had sex, it was passionate, it felt right and natural and was really good.

 

Needless to say we're not friends anymore, not even lovers, we actually don't talk - it was a very complex situation, and better left alone.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Not me. My personal sexuality is so wrapped up with my emotions that it's pretty much a bad experience to have sex with anybody I don't have a lot of feelings for - unless I was pretty drunk. And in that case, I would feel attached.

 

My daughter, on the other hand, astounds me with her ability to have sex completely outside the realm of emotional attachment. When she does get attached, she's like a gigantic barnacle - but it's not triggered by having sex.

[Treasa]

I don't get attached after sex. I may get attached for other reasons, but sex isn't one of them.

[sabre80]

I'm a guy and I get attached after sex.

[tuxedo cat]

I usually get more attached after sex unless I have no feelings for the guy whatsoever. I can even get attached if I have mild feelings for the guy but know we're incompatible. This is why I try to wait.

[Emilia]

So all of you ladies here saying that you don't get attached after sex, well..you've been talking to the wrong type of guy.

 

Of course we have sweetie, where have you been all my life? :love:

[SmileFace]

Oh yeah, women get attached after sex, it's highly likely. They will usually drop cues though and not be direct about it such as, "Wanna try it out?" or they'll want to talk to you more. Sex is the most vulnerable state a woman can be in so she's putting A LOT on the line when she goes at it. Risk of pregnancy, risk of being called a slut, risk of feeling used. The only times when women don't get attached is when they have sex without a connection which is pretty rare to go around having sex with people without having a connection (fun times, laughs, etc.).

 

So all of you ladies here saying that you don't get attached after sex, well..you've been talking to the wrong type of guy.

This is why we can't have nice things

[reaver]

Oh yeah, women get attached after sex, it's highly likely. They will usually drop cues though and not be direct about it such as, "Wanna try it out?" or they'll want to talk to you more. Sex is the most vulnerable state a woman can be in so she's putting A LOT on the line when she goes at it. Risk of pregnancy, risk of being called a slut, risk of feeling used. The only times when women don't get attached is when they have sex without a connection which is pretty rare to go around having sex with people without having a connection (fun times, laughs, etc.).

 

So all of you ladies here saying that you don't get attached after sex, well..you've been talking to the wrong type of guy.

 

 

No risk of pregnancy for me. Im anal about birth control.

I could care less about being called a slut. Men of this type are hypocrites and I could care less what they think.

Theres a low risk of me getting attached when I dont like the guy that much to begin with.

 

Plenty of girls have sex for a "fun time" Did you not go to college? I was surrounded by women who had one night stands and didnt give a rats ass

 

This line of thinking is why when I was younger I didnt have issues sleeping with a few guys I didnt like alot.

 

Younger, naiive, emotional, inexperienced, insecure girls...yes to your scenario. Mature, experienced, more rational, self confident women? Not so much

[Emilia]

If you are having sex with a bunch of people you don't care about are you auditioning for the flesh trade?

 

Otherwise if you are attached before sex, which you should be before having sex, you should be attached afterward.

 

Why does 'should' come into this?

[ltjg45]

Why does 'should' come into this?

 

Why would you sleep with a guy you hate?

[reaver]

Why does 'should' come into this?

 

I think women in general feel sex without emotional attachment is bad.

[Treasa]

So all of you ladies here saying that you don't get attached after sex, well..you've been talking to the wrong type of guy.

 

Unless, you know, we just want sex. Ohai, I'm a woman in her sexual prime.

[Emilia]

Why would you sleep with a guy you hate?

 

Hate? Why would I hate someone just because I'm not attached to them? Only children view everything in terms of love and hate

[Emilia]

Sex shouldn't be had without attachment unless you are being paid for it.

 

Who says?

 

 

___________

[Emilia]

I think women in general feel sex without emotional attachment is bad.

 

I don't think you can make that statement unless you dismiss women who have posted in this thread prior

[ltjg45]

Hate? Why would I hate someone just because I'm not attached to them? Only children view everything in terms of love and hate

 

That's just it.

 

If you are not attached to him, why would you want to sleep with him esp. when the only feelings that will come out of it, if anything, is negative? Why would you even give him the time of day?

 

It doesn't make any sense.

 

I know this much: I'm not going to sleep with any female that I don't want for the long term. I don't care if she is sexier than Kim Kardashian.

[Emilia]

It was a single example of being unattached. S/he didn't need to list all states.

 

Maybe let the poster explain rather than you jump in their place?

[Emilia]

That's just it.

If you are not attached to him, why would you want to sleep with him esp. when the only feelings that will come out of it, if anything, is negative?

 

Why would you even give him the time of day?

 

It doesn't make any sense.

 

I know this much: I'm not going to sleep with any female that I don't want for the long term. I don't care if she is sexier than Kim Kardashian.

 

I think it is very hard to explain the complexities of sexual and other relationships to someone who has no experience of it.

[SmileFace]

That's just it.

 

If you are not attached to him, why would you want to sleep with him esp. when the only feelings that will come out of it, if anything, is negative? Why would you even give him the time of day?

 

It doesn't make any sense.

 

I know this much: I'm not going to sleep with any female that I don't want for the long term. I don't care if she is sexier than Kim Kardashian.

The question was not based around what you want in a women or what you will want from a women.

 

Don't you know guys who have sex just to have sex... what is the difference with women?

 

You don't actually need someone the time of day to sleep with them. Stop speaking in a bubble. Jeez it is 2013.