RomanceLow Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Should I? I met my ex over a year ago on the military base. He was everything I ever wanted he's smart, funny, and good looking. Every day I spent with him was the best day of my life. I wish it would have lasted forever. My ex was known to be o n Craigslist. Once I browsed around and he was soliciting sex with other women. So i left him, before he did anything. Then three months later he texted me and apologized that it was the biggest mistake of his life. So I took him back all went well and then I notice that he is doing it again. I leave him hurt and upset. Everyday i've thought of him and he texts me and i finally get the talk I need about our relationship. I've been seeing a therapist and at this point we've agreed that my head tells me don't go back, but my heart tells me yes. I want to get back with him. But not just yet. I want to give him the option of A) Being friends and just friends(and we'd be those friends who hang out every other month) or B) We can give it one last shot and if he does his old habits again, we're over forever( no more talking and socializing) If he goes for B i'll tell him we have to see a relationship therapist and he has to want to change, not for me, but for himself. Without him wanting to change there is no point in this... What do you guys think? At the moment i'm friends with my ex, but should I share my feeling and keep them bottled up or should I risk it and see what happens? I'm in love with him and honestly i'd rather get hurt one last time and assure he wasn't the one or him to tell me look I know i'll hurt you and lets be friends. Either option works for me. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 You've given him a second chance already - why would you give him another? Despite claiming that "it was the biggest mistake of his life" to get you to return to him, he still went back to his old habits. Also, don't see the point in being friends - if he can disrespect you as your boyfriend, why offer him the hand of friendship? Your feelings for him are clouding your judgement. Most likely he will hurt you again because he cannot stop himself. If he cannot change once, not for you and not for your relationship, what makes you think that this time he will change for good? I think that you'd be a fool to give him another shot. It looks like you have no leverage in this relationship so you're not in a strong position to negotiate or demand anything, let alone effect a change in behaviour from him. And I suspect that the reason why he came back to you the first time was because he wanted sex and wasn't having any luck getting it from anyone else. You've only known him for a year and already he's hurt you deeply twice. What would be the point in allowing him to hurt you again? For the sake of your heart and mental health, let him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 Is he that hot...? Link to post Share on other sites
Holyoak Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 (edited) Him calling it a "mistake", allowed him the same pass as if he got regular cola vs the diet he meant to get, and right back to being a lying POS. Mistakes imply no forethought, an accident if you will, and no consequences for: "OOOP's, my penis just landed right in her squishy parts, my bad, I hate when that happens, sorry" Cheating is no accident, or mistake, and you must drill this into your head, and remember it always. Given what you have written, this POS needs to be taken to, and left in the gutter, and save yourself many future painful D-days, possible STD's, etc... Good luck to you! Edited April 10, 2013 by Holyoak Link to post Share on other sites
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