Emotionally abusive step father??

[The darkhole]

Wow, this is my first time revealing this to anyone but i've kept it bottled up inside for so long I just have to let it out and get some of your opinions on what should I do before I go out and do something i'll regret for the rest of my life. Now, in 2001 my mom met this guy and it was all good we hanged out and then me and my little brother moved in with him and we had a ball, so at the summer I went to visit my real father and when I came back every thing changed. I didn't feel like this is a dude I can talk to and then he starts calling me all these names without my mom around you know like faggot or idiot or some crap like that and it didn't really bother me I didn't even see it is a kind of an abuse until one time I actually broke a garage door and he was like, aww man that dumbass and crap like that, he apologized, but one night I was going to my room and he whispered faggot and crap like that and he embarassed me in front of my cousins and ever since then I felt like hurting this dude man i'm serious putting him in a hospital or something like that maybe even eliminating him period, i'm not gonna do that but i've fantasized about it once and the scary part is I actually liked it. So, everythings cool in my life you know he treats my little brother with respect and my mom it's just me who I have a problem with this guy and I feel like i'm just gonna break this guys legs or something like that like one day he's gonna be 60 years old and i'm just gonna knock on the door and kick his ass plain and simple. He hasn't said anything since the garage incident but I still hate his ass everytime I see him my heart just pounds and I just get this feeling. I try real hard not to say or do anything but it's hard as hell. Yes, he is a big guy and probably would whoop my ass but if he did I know alot of people who if he layed a hand on me he'd end up in a hospital. So, I don't have to worry about that.

 

I've lived with him for about 3 years and I still do not like him, I just can't get things like what he did to me out of my head and when I found out it was a type of abuse I was like, ohh crap I was abused and I don't know what to do! I don't wanna talk with my mom about this but I think i'll have to. And she heard when he called me a dumbass but she didn't do anything about it, I mean she talked with me and stuff but really didn't take any action like it was just some kind of rage burst man it's retarded. I'd feel alot better with this man out of my life period but recently they just had two other babies so i'm the proud brother of twins and now it's not gonna be easy for me to tell my mom. So, what should I do man because if this guy keeps on living with my mom there's gonna be some problems. I wanted to find someone else for my mom and somehow break them up but that's not gonna work but I really need advice.

[Fayebelle]

How old are you? Are you still in school? If the talk w/your Mom doesn't go well- you may want to discuss this with your guidance counceler.

 

Good Luck and Keep us posted.

[The darkhole]

He's not controlling, he just use to say alot of crap to me and thought like it was funny or something.

[Anthropologist]

I was researching on 'how to deal' with my godchild's emotionally abusive stepfather. Her mother and I have been best friends since Middle School. My godchild frequently says, "I hate him" to my brother, myself and other family friends. My friends and I feel that her mother has chosen her Stepfather over her or it's "teen angst". I feel that confronting my friend will force my godchild into a more difficult situation. Other people who have experienced "any" abuse relate how it starts gradually. Before you know it your esteem is rock bottom, you take more abuse without realizing it and then you yourself continue the vicious cycle. Try talking to your dad or other family friends that you trust. Depending on your age, a guidance counselor at school might help (ask them if it's confidential, it should be unless you discuss suicide, but ask to cover yourself). I'm giving my godchild esteem building literature and hoping to maintain an open dialouge with her. It is really hard to confront the issue of abuse when it happens in your case. The same is true for my godchild. Her stepfather invades her privacy, comments constantly on her weight (she isn't overweight), puts down her artistic skills (she shouldn't focus so much time on something that she won't be going to school for), and generally creates a tense atmosphere so she can't stand to come home. Her mother doesn't see any of it. I'm currently thinking of a way to approach her.... in the mean time....good luck , and remember that just because your stepfather is a homophobic with a low self esteem you shouldn't take it personally.