johnythunders Posted April 10, 2013 Share Posted April 10, 2013 This girl and i have been friends for a long time, but just this year we've gotten really close and I started crushing on her. About 2 months ago I thought about asking her to prom, but one of her friends told me she didn't want a date.. In fact, the girl shot down 2 other guys- she "didn't want to be stuck to any one person." Well something changed cause her friend came back and said I should ask her.. So I did and she said yes and gave me a huge hug I figured she liked me back cause she would get quiet and hold eye contact when we passed in the halls.. Made sense cause she's kinda shy. So I got her number and started texting her, the next week I asked her to hang out and she invited me to lunch with her family. It was just chill, but I started feeling a bit nervous and awkward around her cause I really like her (overcomplimenting her, awkward silences, etc). It got to the point that I just had to tell her how I felt. She said she only liked me as a friend and doesnt even want to date right now.. so i reassured her we'd still be friends and told her my first priority was her happiness. We tried to keep things normal but it was awkward obviously. Even after we were talking like normal it was still painful for me, so I explained to her that I needed some time to sort out my feelings.. When we started talking again 3 days later, she said it was really hard cause she'd gotten so use to talking to me regularly. Since then we'd been talking with increasing frequency. Just the other night we texted for 5 hours straight from 7-12, playing the question game, she said she really loved it and towards the end I said some sweet things, she told me I was "too nice :)". I texted her a latin phrase and when she asked what it meant I told her she'd have to look it up, so by like 12 she couldn't wait any longer and looked it up. When she found out it meant "you are so beautiful" she said she was pretty sure she was smiling like an idiot.. Can someone help me figure her out??? Link to post Share on other sites
sunrise24 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) Do you really want a serious relationship with this girl, or are you happy maintaining a platonic relationship with her? Thus far, it sounds like you have been friend-zoned (there is no reliable correlation between going to prom with someone and subsequently starting a serious relationship with that person), meaning you can't have it both ways. Be very careful with complimenting, especially regarding physical attributes; overdoing it amounts to flattery and makes a relationship weaker; more one-sided, opposite of the intended effect. Frequency of contact works in a similar fashion: I explained to her that I needed some time to sort out my feelings.. When we started talking again 3 days later, she said it was really hard cause she'd gotten so use to talking to me regularly.3 days without contact is no big deal in the grand scheme of life, even for exceptionally close relationships. If she expects you two to be in contact that frequently... it sounds like you were rushing to appease her; you're putting yourself at risk to be taken for granted down the road. All things in life start out difficult and get easier. She can adapt; life being what it is, there are countless situations which merit 3 days without contact, especially you taking time for yourself as described above. If anything, the relationship will emerge from challenging times having grown stronger, if it's meant to be. Edited April 12, 2013 by sunrise24 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts