Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I'm probably gonna be totally yelled at for doing this on this forum. Would you give your girlfriend or significant other your credit card in order to develop a sense of trust in your relationship? I'm young so I have plenty of time to pay it off if she totally screws me. I wanted to test her and give her my card which doesn't have a very high balance on it and I never give her money at all. We already trust each other a lot but I wanted to do an ultimate test tonight by giving her my card. Money comes and goes to me but having a person who loves you and trusts you is far more important. What do u guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 What? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Does she need to use the card for something specific? Did she ask you for help? Or, are you just going to whip it out and offer it to her? Don't you think she might be insulted or confused by that? Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I'm probably gonna be totally yelled at for doing this on this forum. Would you give your girlfriend or significant other your credit card in order to develop a sense of trust in your relationship? I'm young so I have plenty of time to pay it off if she totally screws me. I wanted to test her and give her my card which doesn't have a very high balance on it and I never give her money at all. We already trust each other a lot but I wanted to do an ultimate test tonight by giving her my card. Money comes and goes to me but having a person who loves you and trusts you is far more important. What do u guys think? Don't. Do. It. Don't ever share finances unless you're married. Even then, have separate banking accounts, IMO. And just the fact that you're talking about making this a "test" and "money comes and goes" blah blah...shows your immaturity. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Does she need to use the card for something specific? Did she ask you for help? Or, are you just going to whip it out and offer it to her? Don't you think she might be insulted or confused by that? She didn't ask for help or anything. I just gave it to her and she seemed to not get insulted or confused. We share everything with each other now anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Don't. Do. It. Don't ever share finances unless you're married. Even then, have separate banking accounts, IMO. And just the fact that you're talking about making this a "test" and "money comes and goes" blah blah...shows your immaturity. We have seperate accounts but I wanted to trust her to see if she's really here for me or if she's gonna run my credit card up and then leave after. I think this is a great test. It's short term as far as her having the card and if I only have 1000 in debt after this incident then I've gotten rid of the girl who ended up being a money grubber. However if she completes the test then ill only have a little bit of debt which means at least 50 dollars-100 dollars and the girl is here for me. to me its important to give tests to your significant other from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 She didn't ask for help or anything. I just gave it to her and she seemed to not get insulted or confused. We share everything with each other now anyways. OK, so now you are hoping she passes some test she doesn't even know she is taking? Since you guys share everything now, did you share the expectations for how the bill would be handled? You know, like adults do. Are you hoping she messes this up? What would constitute messing it up if there are no boundaries? This is a bit twisted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 No. There is much cheaper ways to test her loyalty. I don't need to give her the A-OK to throw me back in debt again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 OK, so now you are hoping she passes some test she doesn't even know she is taking? Since you guys share everything now, did you share the expectations for how the bill would be handled? You know, like adults do. Are you hoping she messes this up? What would constitute messing it up if there are no boundaries? This is a bit twisted. I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day. But do you see how you are setting her up for failure by setting no boundaries. That is not fair to her. If she knew the parameters I am sure she would respect them, but you are not giving her a true chance by playing childish games. Have a financial talk with her in regards to your expectations for the card, and then see if she can respect those. That is the only true and honest way to ''test" her if you feel you just have to do so. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 But do you see how you are setting her up for failure by setting no boundaries. That is not fair to her. If she knew the parameters I am sure she would respect them, but you are not giving her a true chance by playing childish games. Have a financial talk with her in regards to your expectations for the card, and then see if she can respect those. That is the only true and honest way to ''test" her if you feel you just have to do so. I told her I trust her not to run my card up to the max. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I'm not hoping she messes up. I'm hoping she passes actually. messing up would be running my credit card to Max amount over a day. I told her I trust her not to run my card up to the max. OK, does she know the maximum? Does she know the maximum amount you would be comfortable with her charging on the card? Is this card for emergencies, or did you say she could buy some things for herself? The more info she had, the easier it will be for her to pass this strange test. A test you claim you want her to pass. Set her up for success then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 OK, does she know the maximum? Does she know the maximum amount you would be comfortable with her charging on the card? Is this card for emergencies, or did you say she could buy some things for herself? The more info she had, the easier it will be for her to pass this strange test. A test you claim you want her to pass. Set her up for success then. She knows the limit on all my cards and accounts as do I know the limits on hers. I told her she can use it when she needs to. Link to post Share on other sites
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 **** no. I use to work at a bank. DONT EVER DO THAT. Repeat it 3 times. If she steals your money you are screwed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 She knows the limit on all my cards and accounts as do I know the limits on hers. I told her she can use it when she needs to. OK, well what if there is an emergency with her car, or something comparable, would you be OK with her using it then because she needs to? Even if it approaches that magic number where you will proclaim she had failed your test? Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Don't understand what you hope to achieve. Ok, let's assume she spends 50 bucks. Did she win or fail? How about 100? How about 150? It's f*cked up. Don't get it. For instance, my previous bf gave me his Amex. He was working like there was no tomorrow and had very little time (and patience) to go shopping for clothes - for him. So his kind request was for me to enter one or two male shops, when shopping for me, and pick him some nice sweaters. I did that once or twice. Never thought about it as a test. Never used it for me... in my book, you either trust or don't trust a person. Giving them your credit cards solves nothing, unless you have a clear purpose to it or she made you doubt on a few things, related to finances, before. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Driftking102 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 OK, well what if there is an emergency with her car, or something comparable, would you be OK with her using it then because she needs to? Even if it approaches that magic number where you will proclaim she had failed your test? I would be okay with that cuz its am emergency. Just if she bought random crap with it and ran it up to the mad then she would fail. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I would be okay with that cuz its am emergency. Just if she bought random crap with it and ran it up to the mad then she would fail. Your boundaries are nonexistent and will cause problems. I wish you would respect her enough not to play these silly games. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Wait, how old are you? This is so ridiculous. Are you 18 with your first credit card? Thankfully $1000 limit is really low, but it's still a horrible idea. How about you just go by her actions? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 It's short term as far as her having the card and if I only have 1000 in debt after this incident then I've gotten rid of the girl who ended up being a money grubber. If a $1000 charge is going to put you in the red, you're broke and you don't have any money for her to grub anyways. If she was after some guy's money, she'd go after someone who wouldn't notice $1000 missing. I don't really see the point in you doing this. Is she trustworthy other times? Has she given you any reason to think she can't be trusted? If not, why bother? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I think if you have to give your partner ANYTHING as a "test" then your relationship has already failed. Do you plan on doing this with all future girlfriends? Cause if your credit limit is 1k then I assume you are very young and will have a few more gf's in your life. What will you do when your credit limit is 20k? Still give your gf one as a test? lol come on man. You sound very immature. She probably is as well. I'd never accept a credit card from my bf, I mean whats the point, I have my own and can take care of myself. Did you add her onto the account then, or how else can she use it? How long have you two been together? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Sure. I'd give her the bill too. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 If you think such a test is warranted, just forget it and break up with her. If you want to buy her stuff by letting her take your card shopping, that would be generous. Of course you'd tell her the maximum to be spent. But as a "test"? If I were in her shoes, I'd be the one doing the breaking up. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 If you think such a test is warranted, just forget it and break up with her. If you want to buy her stuff by letting her take your card shopping, that would be generous. Of course you'd tell her the maximum to be spent. But as a "test"? If I were in her shoes, I'd be the one doing the breaking up. After spending all his money 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 After spending all his money Yup! All fifty dollars of it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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