I want to learn how to stop over analysing things.

[MissIndependant]

Not sure if this is the right forum so if not I'm sorry.

 

I've recently noticed that I overthink and over analyse everything in my relationship way to much. I'd like to learn how to avoid doing this.

 

It starts out with something small, a vauge response for instance, and then I start thinking about it and then analysing the "why?" which naturally leads to the many scenarios slideshow & before I know it I've blown the whole thing out of proportion and my mind is stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel.

 

Now I'm sure I'm not the only one guilty of this lol So I'm wondering what you've done to stop overthinking/analysing ?

 

This has always been a big problem for me and I've never though of fixing it becuase "it's who I am", but I can see that this behaviour isn't giving me a positive effect and that given time could become a major wedge in my relationship.

 

I've read some matieral which says you have to do something that is going to engage your brain etc so that it's to busy to start over thinking in the first place.

 

Any other ideas?

 

I would really like to kick this bad habit, I feel that once I learn how to just chill out a little bit and live in the moment I will be alot happier and calmer.

[Leegh]

I have done the same thing, and I don't have an answer, as I still over-analyze most things. The only suggestions I have is to not think about anything "heavy", i.e., dating, bills, taxes, work, etc., two hours before bedtime, as doing this can relax the mind. In addition, reducing or eliminating caffeine can help, as caffeine is a stimulant, and can amplify feelings, thoughts, etc.

[MissIndependant]

I'm ready this as I sip my morning coffee at work.... hhhmm

 

I found some useful information that I will share with you. Don't know if it will help or not.

 

Basically the problem with overthinking is that because we are constantly turning over the same thought process without resolution we begin to feel "stuck" in the situation. This tends to lead to the thought process turning negative ( I know this is true for me).

 

What I have been told to do is say, or even better write " This is not helping. What would help is....." and this way break the negative thought cycle. At this point we need to stop the overthinking on a positive.

 

By ending on a positive you are less likely to feel the need to overthink the situation in the future.

 

Does any of that make sense?

[ErosOcean]

I think I've got it...

 

So let's say I'm about to go on a date. And I start to over analyze about how the date is going to turn out. Such as...

 

"I hope I don't screw up. If I screw up I'm going to embarrass myself and then she won't like me... Does my hair look okay?... Let's see, I should probably trim my beard... Jeez, I really should have gone to the gym today. Maybe I should do some pushups before I head out... Oh man, what am I going to say. I hope this date is fun and not as boring as the last one. What if she doesn't laugh at my jokes? No man, shake it off! This is going to be awesome. She's going to want you because you are the man!... Yeah! That's right! You ARE the man!... uh, where did I put her phone number?"

 

So to get unstuck from this I would then say, "This is not helping. What would help is (list something positive)...

 

...if I do 100 push ups."

...if I watch a youtube video of cats."

...if I eat a bowl of spaghetti while yodeling."

 

Yeah, I think it would work.

[MissIndependant]

So to get unstuck from this I would then say, "This is not helping. What would help is (list something positive)...

 

...if I do 100 push ups."

...if I watch a youtube video of cats."

...if I eat a bowl of spaghetti while yodeling."

 

Yeah, I think it would work.

 

Ha ha well I would certainly be distracted if the cats were yodeling.

 

I'm not sure if your joking with me here or being serious but..

 

I tried it yesterday. I was obsessing over a text from the guy I'm seeing. I said to myself this isn't helping. Just address the comment and leave it be at that. So I wrote back and resolved not to re-read the text a million times and think of all the different ways I could have answered.

 

I've responded whats said has been said, move on. Leave it be.

 

And I was suprised to find it really worked.

 

Now to just do that everytime lol

[Emma11]

I think for women its programmed into our brains! I'm not as over analytical as I once was, but I still do. Part of it for me, came with gaining more confidence and learning to find my center/be more laid back. I would argue being over analytical means you care a lot

[MissIndependant]

I think for women its programmed into our brains! I'm not as over analytical as I once was, but I still do. Part of it for me, came with gaining more confidence and learning to find my center/be more laid back. I would argue being over analytical means you care a lot

 

 

You know I never thought about it that way. But it makes sense, I'm one of those people that just wants to help everyone in my life be happy.

 

And the things I worry about most are my relationships, because they are what is most important to me.

 

It's probably emphasised by that instinct to nurture that is so prominent in women. Well in me at least!

[ErosOcean]

I'm not sure if your joking with me here or being serious but..

 

I'm crazy, so you probably shouldn't pay attention to me...

 

But your last example was helpful in clearing things up. It actually does seem like a useful idea.

[ltjg45]

I literally overthink on everything.

 

When to sell Yugioh cards for profits, whether or not I'm dressed good enough to approach a female, whether or not I'm capable of getting a job at this location, whether or not I have enough time to take care of everything today.

 

Literally everything.

 

Even whether or not I have ate enough today or if I ate too little.

 

Too many questions, not enough answers that I can rely on.

 

Just don't know how to break out of it. If I had a quiet spot somewhere by myself, I will be there by myself thinking for hours.

[january2011]

I suffer from "excess mental energy."

 

I use computer games, research, my job (very analytical), studying and socialising to channel this energy. Occasionally, I also use LS. Physical exercise can also help. Basically, any activity that does not leave me to my thoughts.

 

I've found that spending too long doing not very much or anything productive/tangible makes me overthink my personal life.

 

You've also got to figure out your triggers - what sets you off thinking about your relationship and worrying about it?

 

Since it can be difficult to avoid your triggers completely, work out some cognitive strategies to talk yourself down, e.g., counter-arguments about why this might not be so. Disconnect yourself and be your own shrink. Unpack why you think X thought. Or, if possible, start on your chosen activity to distract yourself.