no_love_here Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Well, its been almost 2 years and I still miss and think of her everyday! The pain of heartbreak is gone, but the memories and missing her still linger. Days like today I really wish I drank! Please give my advice, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
steveT95 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 What do you do through the days? Have you tried chatting to other girls? Make a list of why you broke up, maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Ex and I are broke apart 2 years and 5 days ago today. I am in exactly same boat as you are, it's not painful like it used to be, but I miss her and think of her everyday. She is the 3rd girl I've truly loved in my life, so I kind of know how this goes... Honestly you never stop loving someone you truly loved, you just slowly move on, and eventually you do meet someone else you can love just as much. It was 4 years between my first and second loves, and it was really about 3 years before I truly let go of my first love, and honestly started looking seriously again. It definitely takes time. Link to post Share on other sites
Steelrain322 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 It's been 2 years for me as well. The pain is gone, but yes I do still think of her, but I think that may have to do with the fact I haven't been in another serious relationship with anyone else. Advice is, give yourself goals, go to the gym, eat healthy, look forward to the future, be grateful for what you have, master your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author no_love_here Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Thanks to everyone for responding! I try to stay active I work out like 9 times a week,but still seem to have a troubling feeling of loneliness. I have been dating but to no promising leads. It seems my expectation are just to high, or maybe I'm just to hurt to really open up? I hope she having the time of her life because Im sure paying for it!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 One year next month for me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH US??? I just asked a very lovely woman who thinks the world of me to leave my place tonight!! I'm an absolute idiot! I'm just not interested in anyone. Our ex's don't feel the same way, we are forgotten, and they've obviously moved on, why can't we??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jingle14 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Wow, I thought it was just me and have been beating myself up for feeling like this 22 months on! Yes, the desperate pain has diminished, but he is in my mind every day, I miss him and the memories are still very painful, and hurtful, and I'm bitter at how horribly and coldly he treated me - and angry with myself for allowing it. I've not met anyone else, or wanted to, but did force myself to go out on a couple of dates. Essentially, though, I've no interest in anyone. OP, you're clearly not alone in this. My only advice is do what I do, face each day with a steely heart and resilience, chin up and ready to face the world. I bury my feelings, which I'm sure isn't healthy but I simply don't know how else to cope. Are you in contact at all, or have you been during the 2 years? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 You guys are scaring people! Lol Cav 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Wow! Those exes must be demigods, the way you all think so high of them... Seriously, two years is too long to still being stuck with someone who doesn't give a damn about you and meanwhile has being actively frolicking with someone else while not thinking at all of a certain ex... Get near to the window, people... see? There is a full life outside waiting for you. Write a book, learn to dance, be part of a band, finish school, learn to love again and above all learn to let go... Dumpee here (about two years ago); I think now that everything is more important than my ex, even (or especially) not talking to her, not thinking of her, not giving a damn at all about her, not taking her back... You give loveshack a bad name, lol... Link to post Share on other sites
Jingle14 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Wow! Those exes must be demigods, the way you all think so high of them... Seriously, two years is too long to still being stuck with someone who doesn't give a damn about you and meanwhile has being actively frolicking with someone else while not thinking at all of a certain ex... Get near to the window, people... see? There is a full life outside waiting for you. Write a book, learn to dance, be part of a band, finish school, learn to love again and above all learn to let go... Dumpee here (about two years ago); I think now that everything is more important than my ex, even (or especially) not talking to her, not thinking of her, not giving a damn at all about her, not taking her back... You give loveshack a bad name, lol... That's all really helpful, thanks - why didn't I think of that?! How silly of me for coming onto a forum for people having a hard time with a break up and expecting a bit of support from like minded people. Don't think we are all sat at home crying over photos of the ex all the day long, I'm certainly not - I have a full and active life. However I'm not a robot who can switch off my feelings for someone I loved very deeply and who was hugely important to me. I don't know why people with evidently perfect lives and who have got everything all figured out are even on this forum. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Ex and I are broke apart 2 years and 5 days ago today. I am in exactly same boat as you are, it's not painful like it used to be, but I miss her and think of her everyday. She is the 3rd girl I've truly loved in my life, so I kind of know how this goes... Honestly you never stop loving someone you truly loved, you just slowly move on, and eventually you do meet someone else you can love just as much. It was 4 years between my first and second loves, and it was really about 3 years before I truly let go of my first love, and honestly started looking seriously again. It definitely takes time. That's what I think. I'm not upset about things, am relieved to be out, and am doing f*ckin splendidly but I can't fight this feeling that some small part of me will always "miss" her a bit. I quote miss because like I said, in most ways I'm just relieved to have ended the tumultuous sh*t of the last year of it, and don't actually wish to see her in any sense. Certain memories, romantic or not, will always hold a wistful place in our heart after their era has passed. It's that pain of being a human that books and songs always hinted at that I didn't start to understand until deaths of loved ones, ends of relationships, etc. Life can be so beautiful; it takes a certain kind of person to not be pained by the passing of those times. It's not profound, but, it can be good to remind yourself that your capacity for pain over the loss of those or that which you love is just a reflection of the depth with which you love life and others... Link to post Share on other sites
Blastoplast Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 It's been about a year for me since break-up after a 7 year relationship. Ours was just a slow fade toward the end, with her not really trying hard to keep us together and too much closed communication. Since the break-up I've enrolled full-time in school, along with working full time and playing 3 bands I don't have the time for a serious relationship. If some woman wants to have a little fun here or there, great. But I just can't commit emotionally. It's funny, before my last EX I was single for years and it didn't bother me. Now that I'm single, it does suck once in a while -- but then I realize I did it before and I can do it again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Damaged23 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 You guys are scaring people! Lol Cav Damn right!! 2 years?! No way!! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 You guys are scaring people! Lol Cav Ha im not being crirical of you guys. It takes as long as it takes. I might alway harbour some feelings for my ex. I was with her 8 years. Im doing good now after 6 months NC, pretty indifferent and might start seeing new girl. i just saw opportunity to have some fun. To some of the newly heart broken they cant even imagine they wont be recovered after like 3 to 6 months. Remeber how slow time went? So it seems pretty scary even when someone says they are having trouble at 9 months because they dont undrrstant that it isnt the heart wrenching pain of early on. Cav Link to post Share on other sites
richard9 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 No disrespect to any of you guys, im onto month 6 and will admit there isnt a day that goes by I dont think about her, but its turning more and more into a passing thought, but will dwell on memories sometimes as I am alone and have more aquaintances from work than friends, she was my friend, the only friend I needed. Anyway to my point, no disrespect, I think it gives others on here incentive and motivation to go out more and meet new people! That is to think to oneself do I really want to be still dwelling on her in two years time??? A kick up the ass to make more effort, to push oneself to start new hobbies and think of career changes etc anything that will help to get over it. If im not here in 2 years time saying the break up was the best thing that happened to me, im stronger in body and mind, something will have seriously gone wrong with my planning. Link to post Share on other sites
InAFog Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Almost been a year for me. And what a year it's been! Hell, i would call it. The rollercoaster of pain and emotions damn near broke me. We had stayed in touch from time to time dealing with property and such, and last week we finally met up and got it all settled. I was so excited and happy to have it finally really BE OVER, to not have him in my life any more and be able to really move forward. But...after we met I've had this hollow, empty feeling again. Memories of great times keep popping into my head like they happened yesterday and I'm back to hardly being able to believe that it's really gone. And i had been doing so well.... Hopefully i can get back on track faster this time. Good luck to all! Link to post Share on other sites
Waz Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Well OP, how much your life changed during these two years and you still think about a lost cause? Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 You guys are scaring people! Lol Cav Yeah, i'm officially scared. It's been 9 months for me since the BU and I feel exactly like those people here on this topic. I can definitely see myself still like this at the two year mark. The missing doesn't seem to diminish as time passes, it seems to strengthen with each day, to my anguish. It's like I'm so obsessed with him. And the more you're denied of him, the more obsessed you become. It's like a great void inside of you that no one else but him can fill. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluerain Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Almost 18 years together...strict NC 11 months now from D Day....and not an hour of any day passes that I don't think of him...massive chunk of my life. I dont know the answer to this grief... only that I'm holding my head high, and I WILL get through this! But I would love some support, dreading the one year mark...I feel for you...lots of hugs to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Yeah, i'm officially scared. It's been 9 months for me since the BU and I feel exactly like those people here on this topic. I can definitely see myself still like this at the two year mark. The missing doesn't seem to diminish as time passes, it seems to strengthen with each day, to my anguish. It's like I'm so obsessed with him. And the more you're denied of him, the more obsessed you become. It's like a great void inside of you that no one else but him can fill. hmmm sorry. Were you NC the whole time. I was with my EX 8 years. Over 6 months hardcore NC and I am getting indifferent. Getting laid recently and another new girl i met and might start dating really helped provide the final knock out blow to remnants of any strong feeling for my ex. I dont miss her much. too busy with my current life. Have you dated? Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Almost 18 years together...strict NC 11 months now from D Day....and not an hour of any day passes that I don't think of him...massive chunk of my life. I dont know the answer to this grief... only that I'm holding my head high, and I WILL get through this! But I would love some support, dreading the one year mark...I feel for you...lots of hugs to you. Good job staying NC. Keep on going! Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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