youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I met a nice boy online about 4 months ago. He had never had a girlfriend before and was a virgin. He seems very into to me but is very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about his feelings/ the relationship I had previously shut down my profile but I reactivated it to check up on him and saw that his was still there but all the info and pictures were gone I said "its ok if you want to date other girls off that site" as a way to sort of test him and he said he "would never do that to you" sounding very sincere. I checked again a few days later and saw he had new pics and info! It really hurt. Maybe after mentioning the site he went to check up on me and saw that it was active? Maybe he's just as put out as me? Weirdly he texted me all evening and we rarely chat over text. What should I say to him? Nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
coffeebean201 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 If he's talking to you (texting) he is probably interested in you. If a guy wants to date you, he likes to shorten the chit chat and find out when you are going to meet him. Trust builds with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Thank you, it's just jarring to think to see he's updating his profile all of a sudden. We see each other often. Is he looking for someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
coffeebean201 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Men are really logical & practical. If he's updating his profile then it is for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Should I confront him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 It's hard to confront him though, considering I had been visiting the site periodically to snoop on him and had even said go a head and meet girls on there. It shows the last time I have been one too. Link to post Share on other sites
reaver Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 If he hadnt ever taken down his profile I would say its not as big a deal. Online stuff is tricky, everyone is different about when to take down a profile (some do it when they are exclusive, some do it earlier) and someone going online while dating someone they really like doesnt always mean much. Some people do it to pass time or for the ego boost. But if he deleted his info, then went back on and put it back and updated it...I dont know I dont think thats a good sign. Sounds like he now wants to date other people. He might have started doing it because you told him to. Are you really ok with him doing that? If you are bold, just say you saw his profile and ask why in a nonthreatening manner he put his info back up. Im a pretty honest person so I'd do that and have done it before. However, I know some people arent that forward. If youve been dating 4 months, perhaps its time to talk about exclusivity? How old are you? How many dates have you gone on? Link to post Share on other sites
sunbeach200 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Definitely confront him. Either you are just casually dating or exclusive. Four months is long enough to know that. Happened to me once a while back. I was dating this guy for five months and seeing him every weekend. His profile was still active all that time and I wished I have checked it early because ity turned out that he just liked me and wanted to see other girls. I wouldn't have made so much effort with him if I had known Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 I said "its ok if you want to date other girls off that site" as a way to sort of test him and he said he "would never do that to you" sounding very sincere. I checked again a few days later and saw he had new pics and info! It really hurt. ... I guess that's what you get for playing games and "testing" your BF by telling him he can do something when really you want the exact opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 Everytime I try to talk to him about exclusivity he gives me some nonsense about not wanting to control me, that I should do what my heart tells me and he hopes that means seeing only him. He has repeatedly expressed that he has no desire (or even the time ) to date other women. STILL not official. I still talk to my old flames and flirt with guys sometimes. I even slept with someone else early on in the relationship and he knows it. Of course he doesn't trust me, I don't even trust me. I want a committed relationship so bad. I'm 23, he's 22. We have been seeing each other about 3 times a week for 4 months Link to post Share on other sites
Author youaremysunshine Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 The truth is I'm paranoid because I've been in several casual, non committed realationships that have lasted YEARS. I don't know why they never progress to any type of commitment. I still see/ talk to a couple of them. They are my old friends but I am not getting what I want out of these arrangements. I'm not trying to make any one jealous or hurt anyone. I just want a boyfriend. I'm not saying I want marriage or that it is going to be easy. Link to post Share on other sites
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