blockstud92 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Well how do I start this off? This is my first post. I am first of all 22yrs old, and work over seas on ships. I have a officer's position and doing very well for myself. I have been dating a girl for 2 and a half years, and she was my love. We have been dating since I was a sophmore in college. I would try to see her any time I had off, and make an effort to talk to her every waking minute. Recently after my past shipping expierience I think i have grown apart from her. Last year when I came back from a trip, I realized that I don't really care for her too much...She is my first serious girlfriend, and I am her first serious boyfriend. She is craazy in love, and attached to me. I don't think I feel the same. She does not have the same interests as me, and I just don't think we get along so well...The problem is my family doesn't care for her too much, but her family adores me and I am like a son already. Anyways... I got a job with a shipping company and before I was going away I broke up with her...the next day i couldn't help myself because i felt so bad for her...She said her life was over and she was going to die. I gave in and asked her if she wanted to still stay together. We hung out for a week straight at her house before i left for my trip. I told her i loved her, but don't know anymore. Maybe i am afraid...anyways i have been away for 6 months now in southeast asia area. I keep in touch with her by email and skype when i can. She sends me overwhelming amounts of emails and is too attached. Recently i went to the philippines and met a girl there, who is going to college. I met her at a club, and i fell for her. I slept with the girl, and saw her for the next 5 days. We stayed in touch through email. The next port i was in, i flew back to the philippines and met her again for 5 days. I stayed at her house and I just had a blast. She fell for me and can't stop thinking about me....I think i may have gotten her pregnant too...Anyways, i am still talking to the girl back home, and the girl from the philippines has no idea that i am still dating back home... I really like this new philippine girl, but it can't work out i don't think...the other girl back home...i don't know i just don't feel much attraction as I use to, maybe because i took her virginity, and I am her first guy friend. I am nice and love by the family. There is also a crazy twist in which I still have really crazy love feelings for my girfriends best friend. I have had these feelings before I even meet my current girlfriend. I never told her, but I always hinted to her. I don't know if she feels the same...she might. I am confused lost, maybe i should just cut away from everyonne???!?! I don't know what to do whether to stay with my girl back home...move on? I'm so lost right now, being overseas is really tough for a guy...There are so many temptations over in southeast asia. I feel bad for everyone because i think i am going to break everyones heart. The reason the both fell for me because they thought i was a nice guy. I guess I am not... please help me in this tough situation...What would you do. Link to post Share on other sites
hannah11 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 You don't have feelings for her anymore so just break up with her. She will move on her life isn't over. Just like everyone else she will eventually learn to cope. It is nicer of you to tell her the truth and let her go instead of lying to her and making it seem like you still care for her. You also have mixed feelings for a lot of other girls, I guess it may be normal for guys but I'm not a guy so I don't really know. But I do have mixed feelings for multiple guys, only I don't lie to them and go sleep with other ones behind their back....You aren't ready for a serious relationship and that is really obvious. As for the Philippines girl if you got her pregnant then there is a whole new responsibility there. If you don't think it will work out with her either though, like you said, then just tell her you have a girlfriend back home and you are sorry. Sure she will probably think you are a dick but it's not like you would ever have to see her again anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blockstud92 Posted April 11, 2013 Author Share Posted April 11, 2013 You don't have feelings for her anymore so just break up with her. She will move on her life isn't over. Just like everyone else she will eventually learn to cope. It is nicer of you to tell her the truth and let her go instead of lying to her and making it seem like you still care for her. You also have mixed feelings for a lot of other girls, I guess it may be normal for guys but I'm not a guy so I don't really know. But I do have mixed feelings for multiple guys, only I don't lie to them and go sleep with other ones behind their back....You aren't ready for a serious relationship and that is really obvious. As for the Philippines girl if you got her pregnant then there is a whole new responsibility there. If you don't think it will work out with her either though, like you said, then just tell her you have a girlfriend back home and you are sorry. Sure she will probably think you are a dick but it's not like you would ever have to see her again anyways. its just not that easy...i have no idea where my life is going...I want to have fun, but i am worried about being lonely. That is why i chose to have a girl in the philippines. I was getting lonely..8 months is a long time away, it just isn't easy. I haven't told any of them yet. I am scared afraid and i resent myself. Link to post Share on other sites
hannah11 Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Finding comfort from other people when you are away from home is not something to resent. It is how you treat these people that you should resent. Being lonely sucks, but if you lie to all of the people who care about you, then in the end you will still just be lonely. If you are surrounded by these people who love you, but you don't actually care for them all that much then you will still feel pretty lonely. No one actually knows where their life is going so just have fun and don't be a jerk to these people who care about you, even if you don't care about them. You will figure out the rest of it later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted April 11, 2013 Share Posted April 11, 2013 Well how do I start this off? This is my first post. I am first of all 22yrs old, and work over seas on ships. I have a officer's position and doing very well for myself. I have been dating a girl for 2 and a half years, and she was my love. We have been dating since I was a sophmore in college. I would try to see her any time I had off, and make an effort to talk to her every waking minute. Recently after my past shipping expierience I think i have grown apart from her. Last year when I came back from a trip, I realized that I don't really care for her too much...She is my first serious girlfriend, and I am her first serious boyfriend. She is craazy in love, and attached to me. I don't think I feel the same. She does not have the same interests as me, and I just don't think we get along so well...What do you mean by you don't think you get along so well? Can you explain or provide examples? The problem is my family doesn't care for her too much, but her family adores me and I am like a son already. I don't see how that is a problem. But I can imagine you being adored by her family. I got a job with a shipping company and before I was going away I broke up with her...the next day i couldn't help myself because i felt so bad for her...She said her life was over and she was going to die. I gave in and asked her if she wanted to still stay together. We hung out for a week straight at her house before i left for my trip. I told her i loved her, but don't know anymore. Maybe i am afraid... Afraid of what? She sends me overwhelming amounts of emails and is too attached. Recently i went to the philippines and met a girl there, who is going to college. I met her at a club, and i fell for her. I slept with the girl, and saw her for the next 5 days. We stayed in touch through email. The next port i was in, i flew back to the philippines and met her again for 5 days. I stayed at her house and I just had a blast. She fell for me and can't stop thinking about me....I think i may have gotten her pregnant Your post was annoying, but this is one of the most annoying parts. You're 22 and should behave as such, not as if you were 16. I really like this new philippine girl, but it can't work out i don't think... How so? Let me guess... your family would like her even less than the other one? There is also a crazy twist in which I still have really crazy love feelings for my girfriends best friend. I have had these feelings before I even meet my current girlfriend. I never told her, but I always hinted to her. I don't know if she feels the same...she might. Here it gets disturbing. So you've been 2.5 years with a girl you didn't even like, while you've always been badly attracted to her best friend? I am confused lost, maybe i should just cut away from everyonne???!?! Sure... I don't know what to do... There are so many temptations over in southeast asia. I feel bad for everyone because i think i am going to break everyones heart. The reason the both fell for me because they thought i was a nice guy. I guess I am not... please help me in this tough situation...What would you do. 1) If the new girl is pregnant, make sure you're the father. Chances are she has multiple partners, not just you, the more so as you didn't mention anything about her virginity... Did she sleep with you the very first night you met her? I don't want to sound harsh, but having a baby from you can be a shortcut to getting your citizenship... and/or to get out of a difficult or poorer environment. 2) Tell your girlfriend, it's better you don't lead her on. Tell her that over time, you realized your feelings were not that strong as they used to be (if ever...), and there are many temptations while you're away for almost a year at a time. You're both young. You wouldn't be a good husband. 3) You're behaving in stupid ways. Having unprotected sex with girls/women you've just met and whose past you know very little about. You could find yourself trapped with some venereal disease if you go on like that. Asia and some Asian countries in particular are very exposed to that. Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) 1)Stop lying to yourself 2)Stop lying to your girlfriend, you cheater cheater pumpkin eater This is the time for you to explore the world and be young and dumb... but you are making decisions that could very well wreck your life. Do you know the opinion of a girl who sleeps around with foreigners? Do you know for her to have slept with you so quickly, she probably does it quite a lot. Have you thought of the possibility some women may get pregnant with you just to try and leave the country? What if she isn't pregnant, but now you have an std? You have a lot bigger issues going on than whether or not to stay with some girl you are cheating on. I suggest you get rid of all the girls and get some perspective on where the you are going in your life. Edited April 12, 2013 by WhoreyBull *I am trying to be more sensitive these days Link to post Share on other sites
Author blockstud92 Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 how do i know weather or not i love either of them? i just am not sure anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
hannah11 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 You don't. If you did, then you would know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Well how do I start this off? This is my first post. I am first of all 22yrs old, and work over seas on ships. I have a officer's position and doing very well for myself. I have been dating a girl for 2 and a half years, and she was my love. We have been dating since I was a sophmore in college. I would try to see her any time I had off, and make an effort to talk to her every waking minute. Recently after my past shipping expierience I think i have grown apart from her. Last year when I came back from a trip, I realized that I don't really care for her too much...She is my first serious girlfriend, and I am her first serious boyfriend. She is craazy in love, and attached to me. I don't think I feel the same. She does not have the same interests as me, and I just don't think we get along so well...The problem is my family doesn't care for her too much, but her family adores me and I am like a son already. Anyways... I got a job with a shipping company and before I was going away I broke up with her...the next day i couldn't help myself because i felt so bad for her...She said her life was over and she was going to die. I gave in and asked her if she wanted to still stay together. We hung out for a week straight at her house before i left for my trip. I told her i loved her, but don't know anymore. Maybe i am afraid...anyways i have been away for 6 months now in southeast asia area. I keep in touch with her by email and skype when i can. She sends me overwhelming amounts of emails and is too attached. Recently i went to the philippines and met a girl there, who is going to college. I met her at a club, and i fell for her. I slept with the girl, and saw her for the next 5 days. We stayed in touch through email. The next port i was in, i flew back to the philippines and met her again for 5 days. I stayed at her house and I just had a blast. She fell for me and can't stop thinking about me....I think i may have gotten her pregnant too...Anyways, i am still talking to the girl back home, and the girl from the philippines has no idea that i am still dating back home... I really like this new philippine girl, but it can't work out i don't think...the other girl back home...i don't know i just don't feel much attraction as I use to, maybe because i took her virginity, and I am her first guy friend. I am nice and love by the family. There is also a crazy twist in which I still have really crazy love feelings for my girfriends best friend. I have had these feelings before I even meet my current girlfriend. I never told her, but I always hinted to her. I don't know if she feels the same...she might. I am confused lost, maybe i should just cut away from everyonne???!?! I don't know what to do whether to stay with my girl back home...move on? I'm so lost right now, being overseas is really tough for a guy...There are so many temptations over in southeast asia. I feel bad for everyone because i think i am going to break everyones heart. The reason the both fell for me because they thought i was a nice guy. I guess I am not... please help me in this tough situation...What would you do. Wait, what? You toss this detail in there like it's an afterthought. To be blunt, you need to grow up and get your priorities straight. Don't play the victim by saying how tough being overseas is for a guy...How tough do you think your behaviour will be for the girls in your life to learn about? How tough will it be if this child is yours, and his/her mother learns that you already have a girlfriend, whose best friend you secretly adore? Please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author blockstud92 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 Well here is an update....The philippine girl is not pregnant, she just had her period yesterday. The girl back home is rediculously attached and still won't let me go...she says she won't break up until i come back and see her...she invited me to a wedding and a concert this summer in June. What the heck? i have been keeping quiet for the past few days and have been kind of ignoring her. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 The girl back home is rediculously attached If there's anything ridiculous in this story, it's not her... In any case, a sure way to get rid of her is: tell her the truth, plain and crude. Like: I am in love with another girl living abroad and whom I've been seeing for quite a while. If you want to add a special touch to it, just to make sure she's not going to try and get you back with her: And oh, by the way, your friend X has always aroused me a lot since day 1 being with you. So... in case it doesn't work with this girl abroad, can you recommend me to her? Link to post Share on other sites
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