What should I do... Stay or Go ? Cheating husband, trying to give it a 2nd chance....

[MissThing123]

I don't want this storie to be too long so am going to write just 'bout the main part. please do ask question, I will reply....

 

The day B-4 father's day I found a tape of my boyfriend & some ugly ass girl having sex, I would never think he would do that to me, we have a little girl who is 2yr old & we are almost going to have 10yr together...

 

I thought that he really loved me because somebody that really does love you would never even think 'bout having sex with somebody else.

 

I forgave him but I just can't forget 'bout it, is like every time I look at him I just get so mad & the girl she keeps calling his cell phone I left her a message I told her that I sold the tape of her & my man having sex with each other I don't know how she took it but it was a lie, I know he doesn't talk 2 her anymore.

 

He said that when he knew he was 'bout 2 lose me right there he knew that he still loved me & that he still wanted to be a family & without him or me we wouldn't be a family.

 

Now I don't know if I should move on with my life & just forget 'bout him & just think 'bout me & my daughter or if I should just forgive him & just try to make it work, this is the 2nd time he has cheated on me but the 1st time he told me 'bout, i'm still hurt & I still do cry all of the time, I feel stupid being with him because a lot of people know 'bout this.

 

B-4 we moved in 2gether I had a boyfriend which we had sex because I thought I was in love with him & I also thought I had 4gotten my boyfriend (EX at the time)

I did tell my boyfriend 'bout this guy which he never meet

 

now he be saying that I cheated on him when we wasn't even 2gether at the time....

 

 

My question is what should I do should I pack my bags & my 2yr old daughter's bag & leave this man alone or should I stay & try 2 work it out because of my daughter???

 

I am still hurt, I still love this man & if I do leave him how can I get over him because I feel like I can't get over him I feel like he has me in his hands, I cry all the time & I think am hurting my daughter because she looks at me all the time crying ....

 

 

 

PLEASE HELP

[SoleMate]

Boiled down to the essentials, it seems like both you and your bf have cheated on each other, but in neither case is it still ongoing. You have both ended your outside attachments. Is that right?

 

Well, this is the oldest situation in the book. Infidelity does not necessarily require an end to a committed relationship, in my view. But it does require being treated like the crisis and serious problem that it is.

 

If you both want to rebuild a trusting, faithful relationship, you can. Does he want to try? Do you? If so, please try <URL removed>

 

And my sympathies on the pain you are going through.

[MissThing123]

I never cheated on him I wasn't even with him at the time but right B-4 we got back together I told him about that guy that I had sex with & he still wanted me back.

 

 

Now my problem with him is that I can't even forget 'bout what he did to me with that girl & also I don't feel like if he loves me because like B-4 he use to wanna be all over me now is like he only wants to be with me when he wants to have sex I mean he don't even call me from work & B-4 he always use 2 call me....

 

 

Now he is all in2 his friends & I still love this man I mean I would love to give it a try again because of our daughter who is 2yrs old who she loves her daddy...

 

But he is hurting me inside.

 

He always wants to go out with his friends & smoke weed that is another problem I have with him & for him to even stay home I have to start fighting with him to make him stay home I mean even when he wakes up, I feel like if its not 'bout me or my daughter that he wakes up for always his cell phone is always ringing & like always he gets up just for his friends.

 

solemate thank you for that website

 

but I would like to know what you guys think, should I stay or just leave him & keep going strong with my life???

[ojibwaywmn]

I think couples and individual counselling is needed here. You are not going to overcome this without some outside help. If your husband isn't willing to go, then go for yourself. This man was thinking with the wrong head. He didn't stop to consider the consequences and now it is up to him to accept the responsibility. And if he is sincere in working it out, then his actions need to back up his words. Trust has been broken here. And you both need to find out why it came to that point. A bumpy road to recovery is ahead of you. But you WILL get through it.

 

If he wants to go out all the time with his friends and smoke weed, then let him. He can go and stay with them while you are living life with your daughter. Stand your ground woman. Don't accept less than just because he is the father of your child.