Rainbow65 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 This has been eating at me for so long now a couple weeks.. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2.5 years. About a month ago I got extremely drunk and two of my friends helped me and were taking care of me (one girl and one guy, the girl is obsessed with the guy and they were kind of fooling around together before, however the guy has no feelings for her). I ended up puking and they both took me to the girl's house.. I wanted to fall asleep on the couch and let them sleep in the bedroom but I fell off the couch and said that I wanted to stay there basically lying on the floor. Then the girl told the guy to put me in her bedroom,I didn't want to move but he picked me up and put me in the room.. Then I fell asleep in the room but the guy fell asleep beside me.. The door was open and the girl told him to stay there and watch me so nothing happened to me while i was sleeping because i was so ill. then she came to the room a couple hours later I believe.. I feel so bad about this that he slept in the same bed as me when I'm together with my boyfriend.. I told my boyfriend and he got a little upset but didn't say much else (which is weird bc he is the very jealous type). I feel so bad and I don't know why. Nothing happened obviously, except that he was petting my head because i was telling him that i feel like im dying. maybe he gave me a hug. but I feel horrible like this is something so wrong to sleep beside another person and that I should be punished for it and that I'm the biggest slut.. I don't know what to do or how to stop thinking about this.. I am 22 and it is interfering with my studying and daily living. I feel like my relationship is "tainted". Please help, I can barely speak to my boyfriend without thinking about this even though he knows about it, I feel so horrible bc I never wanted a situation like this to ever occur. Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Ummmm... I'm not sure why you would feel so badly for this. Like you said, nothing happened. It's not like you cheated or your boyfriend or were taken advantage of. Obviously, you may want to avoid getting in such a situation very often for your own safety and the safety of your relationship, but your reaction seems a little bit over the top to me. Stop being so hard on yourself, thank your lucky stars that nothing truly bad happened, and learn from it. Life happens. You're 22, and it's probably not the last time you'll find yourself dealing with being too drunk. Learn your limits with drinking, and remember that more booze doesn't usually lead to a better time (in my experience). Find the happy medium for you and then stick to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Aw those early 20s drunken mistakes! I've made a few like the one you've described (and worse!) You are lucky your BF is being so nice about it- that and the fact that nothing actually happened should be enough to ease your mind and help you move on. You should organise a nice date with your BF (a movie or a picnic or something) and tell him how terrible you feel and how grateful you are that he has been so understanding about the situation. Then draw a line underneath the incident and leave it in the past. Easier said than done sometimes, but maybe it would be a good idea to cut your alcohol consumption back a bit? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rainbow65 Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 I don't know why I feel so badly about it. I think it is because I view the bedroom as a place only for me and my boyfriend. I had a crazy period of my life between the ages of 17-20 but now I met someone who I truly love. And the fact that I was lying beside a person of the opposite sex makes me feel undeserving of my relationship. I really don't know how to forget about this I keep thinking how horrible the situation was and helpless about it. Link to post Share on other sites
CompleteFailure Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Do something special for your boyfriend. Don't make it about forgiveness for you. Do it because hes that great and you respect and care about him that much. Let him know it. Nothing happened, all is well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vogeltron Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 You should just be honest with him about what happened. That you made a mistake getting that wasted in that situation. I am assuming you didn't sleep with the guy so that should make it much easier on him. To be honest if you are that truthful with him and feel so bad even being in a situation like that he might be kinda pissed but be very grateful you were so honest and truthful about it all. I have maybe 3 years on you if a girl I was with told me that yea, I would be pissed but you are the partying age. Maybe, I am not the super jealous type but I would feel much better having someone caring enough to be that honest with me than trying to hide it. To an extent you may have made a poor choice getting that wasted given that environment but you didn't exactly do anything wrong. If he doesn't understand at all that might tell you something about the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 This has been eating at me for so long now a couple weeks.. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2.5 years. About a month ago I got extremely drunk and two of my friends helped me and were taking care of me (one girl and one guy, the girl is obsessed with the guy and they were kind of fooling around together before, however the guy has no feelings for her). I ended up puking and they both took me to the girl's house.. I wanted to fall asleep on the couch and let them sleep in the bedroom but I fell off the couch and said that I wanted to stay there basically lying on the floor. Then the girl told the guy to put me in her bedroom,I didn't want to move but he picked me up and put me in the room.. Then I fell asleep in the room but the guy fell asleep beside me.. The door was open and the girl told him to stay there and watch me so nothing happened to me while i was sleeping because i was so ill. then she came to the room a couple hours later I believe.. I feel so bad about this that he slept in the same bed as me when I'm together with my boyfriend.. I told my boyfriend and he got a little upset but didn't say much else (which is weird bc he is the very jealous type). I feel so bad and I don't know why. Nothing happened obviously, except that he was petting my head because i was telling him that i feel like im dying. maybe he gave me a hug. but I feel horrible like this is something so wrong to sleep beside another person and that I should be punished for it and that I'm the biggest slut.. I don't know what to do or how to stop thinking about this.. I am 22 and it is interfering with my studying and daily living. I feel like my relationship is "tainted". Please help, I can barely speak to my boyfriend without thinking about this even though he knows about it, I feel so horrible bc I never wanted a situation like this to ever occur. i dont miss my drinking days when i remember alcohol poisoning and throwing up until i threw up a lung....ok......i didnt really throw up a lung but it felt like it...yuk....the room spinning on fast forward and reversing just as quickly....alcohol and i so dont mix....... me sitting cross legged in some shower somewhere for two hours with cold water running over me fully dressed mainlining coffee......walking home with soggy shoes is a biatch... you feel guilty because you obviously dont like the thought of being beside someone else in a bed...thats understandable..as others have posted you didnt do anything and avoid those sort of situations in the future if you have been open and honest with your bf be calm and move on....just dont let yourself get that wasted.......from what you have written you know you wont, so you wont have to feel that guilt ever again...dont be so hard on yourself ...just dont repeat it.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 It's okay - relax! You made a mistake, and the mistake was getting too drunk. You did not betray your boyfriend. This does not make you a slut. Take care to monitor your alcohol consumption in future, and stop beating yourself up over this. It's not a big deal. Make sure your boyfriend knows how sorry you are, and tell him that you will be mindful of your drinking next time so as not to find yourself in an uncomfortable position again. Move past this, it's okay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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