Ex girlfriend makes contact after 3 months 1 week no contact!!!

[lost87]

Hey guys, My ex left me back in may of last year (10 months ago), after being together for 3 years and living together for 2 years. When wee started dating she was 17, i was 22 and when wee finished she was 20, i was 25.

 

The relationship had its ups an downs, downs mainly due to stress of being out of work with little money and not really being able to enjoy ourselves as much we'd of liked. The reason she finally wanted to end things and leave was because she says she was afraid of us staying together to maybe like the age of 30 and then splitting and she wouldn't want to regret missing her younger years of out partying with friends and having casual flings etc.

 

The split had been coming for quite a while but i pleaded with her to stay and promised her things would get better, but it didn't last long....

 

For the 1st 2 months after the breakup it hadnt really sunk in, i remained in contact with her, slept with her twice in that period whilst throughout trying to convince her to come back, but it was breaking my heart having her brush me off and the old awkwardness/lack of affection.

 

For the next 6 months, i would say were without a doubt the worst and hardest period of my life. I hit rock bottom. I was having really bad anxiety/panic attacks and went into a deep depression which for quite a while i was having suicidal urges. I was put on anti-depressants and was in weekly contact with a community psychiatric nurse. Throughout this bad period i would contact my ex like every 2 weeks saying how much i miss her, and how much of a wreck i was without her but to honest she's emotionally unstable and is awkward with empathy, so i was getting nothing, it was as if she didnt really care.

 

I finally started feeling i was getting better on my medication along with support from family/friends around xmas time, and on the 6th of jan went COMPLETE no contact after finding out that she had been seeing another guy for the past 5 months while i was going through hell!

 

Throughout my no contact, ive just gradually gottin better, feeling more positive about the future and thinking about her less, and when i do think about her the raw sickening feelings of hurt arnt there no more, but i do know im not 100% over her yet.

 

Well.... about a month ago, she sent me a ''fed up'' looking face through text and i didnt reply, but spent about a week tryna figure it out.

Then tonight i got a txt saying, How've you been?...didnt reply.

Then about 30 mins later, No, ok!...didnt reply.

Then 10 minutes after that, I just want to see how youve been but thanks for ignoring me!!! Its ok i wont bother you again!!!, toodles!...Didnt reply and am not going to!

 

I dont know if shes still wif that other guy and i can honestly say, i dont care...but what do you guys make out of this, is it just her being nosey or whats going on..

 

sorry about the long post! Thanks for reading

[denxnis]

Sounds very similar to my situation. Either things didn't work out with the new guy she left you for or the honeymoon phase of her new relationship is wearing off. Regardless I would continue to ignore her unless you feel like picking a scab.

 

My guess is her texts will consume your thoughts for a while but if you respond it will only get worst.

 

If you're wondering if this is her trying to get back with you the answer is nobody knows except for her. However she hasn't stuck her neck out to say sorry or can we meet, I wouldn't bother with her she should know better and leave you alone

[Jono85]

Sounds very similar to my situation. Either things didn't work out with the new guy she left you for or the honeymoon phase of her new relationship is wearing off. Regardless I would continue to ignore her unless you feel like picking a scab.

 

My guess is her texts will consume your thoughts for a while but if you respond it will only get worst.

 

If you're wondering if this is her trying to get back with you the answer is nobody knows except for her. However she hasn't stuck her neck out to say sorry or can we meet, I wouldn't bother with her she should know better and leave you alone

 

 

this ^^

 

you've done an amazing job going from suicidal, to actually coping without her, and even summoning the restraint to ignore her silly, selfish, breadcrumbs (really after __ months she just sends you a silly emoticon face?...selfish). but you've made so much progress man. you've grown a ton. don't throw it all away by responding to her texts which really amount to nothing. she knew how hurt you were and was still seeing that dude. she stopped caring about your well being. you don't have to be spiteful or negative, but don't let her back in (at least not for a long while, b/c you will get over her one day, contrary to what you think now). you said yourself, you're not 100% over her, don't let her guilt you into feeling bad about ignoring her when you're finally putting YOURSELF first, something she did for HERself throughout your entire breakup. screw her man...i know you probs care about her still, but she should care about you and respect the fact that you're not interested in talking to her at this time. it's a risk to your well being, keep going with the NC.

[lost87]

Thanks for the replies guys, it means alot

 

Her whole selfish attitude, is 1 of the reasons im actually glad that im away from her, because i know im better than that and actually diserve someone that cares about me as much as me them.

 

I think when youve split with someone a while you start to notice there negative traits more, than when you were actually with them..i think people are just blinded by love.

 

I will 100% remain NC and continue to move forward and grow as i have been doing, as mentioned..im thinking about ME for the 1st time

 

Cheers guys

[itto ogami]

She sounds incredibly selfish and immature -- and given her age, somewhat understandable. But that doesn't excuse the obvious lack of empathy.

 

Stay in NC - it's your best friend now. You'll come out of this so much stronger.

[i.am]

Yes, ignore her. She doesn't know exactly what she wants at all and if you're gonna respond to her, you'll be in the mess with her again. So don't. If she has really figured out and wants you back, she will say so. Guess she's out of her honeymoon stage of her new relationship and looking for a comfort zone to step in for the time being. So don't let her use you.