oannamarie Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 I have been married for about 6 years. My husband use to physically abuse me up until about 9 months ago when he promised he would never do it again. He is also a drug addict. We have never really had a good relationship. I left about a month ago because of the drugs. My husband never spent time with me and we had not been intimate for about three months. When I confronted him about it he accused me of cheating. I left him. I was gone for a couple of days. In the time I was gone I developed feelings for a long time friend and we were intimate once. My friend thought my relationship was over with my husband so we agreed to see each other. I went back to my husband a week after I left because I missed our children. My husband stated if I come back he will quit the drugs, go to NA and be attentive to my needs. He (my husband) takes care of the children while I work during the day because he has been off on workmans comp for about a year. I have told my husband that I no longer love him and that I may have feelings for a friend. I never told him I was intimate with this friend and that I will stay with my husband, hopefully the feelings will come back if things change. I have never told my friend I have moved back with my husband and continue to be intimate with my friend. I know I cant have both my husband and my friend in an intimate relationship but If I leave my husband, he has the kids and I dont get to see them as I would like because of my work schedule. I also had to stay with my parents while I was gone. Me and my husband made an agreement that I would help continue to pay for our rent until the lease was up in 6 months so I can not afford my own place. I came back because I did not want to stay with my parents, (we dont get along very well). I know these are the wrong reasons to go back and I realy love the guy I was friends with. I want to be truthful to both but if I do I will have neither in the end. I am also confused that my feelings for my friend are a result of lack of attention from my husband. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted September 16, 2004 Share Posted September 16, 2004 Pick one or the other. Either you cut things off with the other guy and really try to work things out with your husband, or you end your marriage and go be with the new guy. If you're dishonest and try to have both, you're no better than your husband. And actually, by trying to have both you're really just minimizing the chance of either one working out. I mean, if you try to keep the new guy on the side, you'll never be able to give 100% in trying to work things out with your husband. And if you're with your husband, eventually the new guy will realize what's really going on and he'll cut things off himself. Seems simple really: Pick one. Link to post Share on other sites
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