jn821 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 (edited) I'm 20 years old and want to seduce a man in his early 40's. He is not married. I find him extremely attractive in looks and personality but am only looking for a fling. I've known him for a few weeks and he's seen me at some quite unattractive-looking times, but he's consistently acted flirty and extra nice to me (at least that's how it seems to me, but I am VERY inexperienced dating/sexwise and could be interpreting wrong). Something that's discouraging me, is that I keep thinking he's out of my league- he is successful, decently handsome (in a classic sense), has a very charming personality that he probably can use to get many women, so I'm thinking why would he bother to have a fling with me? My young age is in my favor, but I'm pretty average looking, thin, have long hair, wear little makeup, and dress very tomboyish. Not at all the typical pretty/sexy young girl kind of thing. Like I said, I'm extremely inexperienced in dating/sex (no boyfriends, virgin. I grew up pretty isolated) so I need your perspective, especially if you're an older man. I need some help in: - gauging how open he might CURRENTLY be to having a fling with me - what type of approaches would be most likely to make my seduction successful - any other advice or things you think I should know Is there anyone willing to help me out with this?? One other thing: I am NOT looking for sex-advice...just how to initiate a fling, find out if he's interest, seduce him Edited April 13, 2013 by jn821 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I's in his court. You can do just about anything flirtatious toward him and if he's "that way" he'll fall right into you. But often guys are very morally hung up and he may want you desperately, he will discipline himself not to. But the one thing that is guaranteed to challenge his self-impose moral constraints is direct appeal from you. That my feel unflattering to have to spell it out for him, but it's not necessarily so that he doesn't crave you and fantasize about you all the time. He may just feel guilt for perusing someone some young. Therefore if you're determined to sex him up, speak to him about it. It may blow his mind and he'll consider himself fortunate to be the object of your lust and act on it with reckless abandon. That's kind how I am and if there's an a attraction. it's on. Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I'm 20 years old and want to seduce a man in his early 40's. I...am only looking for a fling. That is a tough one. Hmmm. What do we know? - He seems like he may be into you... - You only want sex, not a husband... - He has a penis... - You are very much of a legal age. I think I've got it. Go up to him at the right time (right time = he's breathing) and say: "I am so embarassed to say this, but I have found you very attractive for a long time. I know I'm young, and I'm not looking for a husband. So, can we just go somewhere and make-out? And if we like it, we can go someplace to get a little more comfortable. What do you say"? I'm pretty sure that will do the trick. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Nervis' idea will most likely be effective. Be prepared - if you get physical - to get attached. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jn821 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 I's in his court. You can do just about anything flirtatious toward him and if he's "that way" he'll fall right into you. But often guys are very morally hung up and he may want you desperately, he will discipline himself not to. But the one thing that is guaranteed to challenge his self-impose moral constraints is direct appeal from you. That my feel unflattering to have to spell it out for him, but it's not necessarily so that he doesn't crave you and fantasize about you all the time. He may just feel guilt for perusing someone some young. Therefore if you're determined to sex him up, speak to him about it. It may blow his mind and he'll consider himself fortunate to be the object of your lust and act on it with reckless abandon. That's kind how I am and if there's an a attraction. it's on. Thank you very much for this piece of advice. I believe it's an important insight to what the circumstances in his mind may be like. I may have to be sort of blatant to allow him to see things as okay to proceed with, that it's a reality this 20 year old is wanting him, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jn821 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 That is a tough one. Hmmm. What do we know? - He seems like he may be into you... - You only want sex, not a husband... - He has a penis... - You are very much of a legal age. I think I've got it. Go up to him at the right time (right time = he's breathing) and say: "I am so embarassed to say this, but I have found you very attractive for a long time. I know I'm young, and I'm not looking for a husband. So, can we just go somewhere and make-out? And if we like it, we can go someplace to get a little more comfortable. What do you say"? I'm pretty sure that will do the trick. That does break it down pretty simply. What prevents me from doing something similar, is the fear of rejection. What if I am misinterpreting his behavior and he does see me in a non-sexual, child sort of way, and my advances then make things extremely awkward and sad, ruining a so far really lovely exchange/experience? Or worse, what if he sees me as beneath him, and has just been flirty and nice to me to stroke his own ego, and then I feel really low and foolish afterwards? Then again, if I don't do anything at all, nothing is going to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I completely understand the urge. And maybe the challenge is part of the attraction. But I see this kind of thing so often from young women. You have to realize the chances of it working out are low and the likelihood of great disappointment and staggering heartbreak for you is high, because I am taken. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Thank you very much for this piece of advice. I believe it's an important insight to what the circumstances in his mind may be like. I may have to be sort of blatant to allow him to see things as okay to proceed with, that it's a reality this 20 year old is wanting him, etc. It looks kinda natural for young girls to want older guys alot 'cause my uncle is in his 40s & seduces girls your age all time & some just throw themselves at him before he even gets the chance u know . Link to post Share on other sites
Author jn821 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 It looks kinda natural for young girls to want older guys alot 'cause my uncle is in his 40s & seduces girls your age all time & some just throw themselves at him before he even gets the chance u know . it seems to be pretty common. If nothing else, look at all the girls strongly attracted to older actors/musicians/people in the public eye. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jn821 Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 I completely understand the urge. And maybe the challenge is part of the attraction. But I see this kind of thing so often from young women. You have to realize the chances of it working out are low and the likelihood of great disappointment and staggering heartbreak for you is high, because I am taken. Thank you for your concern; I will take this to consideration in my future attempts of seducing you. Link to post Share on other sites
foreverandalways Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 If you're just looking for sex, seriously just be really open about it. I was so shy and timid when I was younger, and liked a guy. Now that I'm in my 30's, I wonder what all the fuss was about. Guys have it harder than we do. They have to sit and wonder if a girl is into them, if they will be labeled as an ass hole for speaking up about wanting them, etc. They're in the intersection, ready to go...they just need us to give them the green light. Link to post Share on other sites
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