Is it true that you only attract people on your level in looks?

[samsungxoxo]

But that's an issue in this thread (and so many others) the OP isn't talking about finding someone she is attracted to, she wants the pinnacle! Merely being attractive, reasonably good looking isn't enough, she needs the model. No 4,5,6's for her! She wants to total ten!!!!

Correct.

 

Hence, why if I have to change certain aspects in my face such as teeth by having it fixed with braces or my nose then I'll do it.

 

The ''But if he cares about you, that should be good enough'' isn't what I'm willing to settle anymore. I want him to have all 3 qualities: looks, personality and ambition.

 

He definitely has got to be somewhere out there.

[xxoo]

Maybe you'll meet a like minded guy who had cosmetic surgery to be more handsome.

 

Will you have kids?

[WhoreyBull]

Ya, it's true.

Haven't you wondered why porn comes in hot, mild, and ugly?

[samsungxoxo]

Maybe you'll meet a like minded guy who had cosmetic surgery to be more handsome.

Yes, that could be a possibility too.

Will you have kids?

Not really, well haven't thought about that yet.

[USMCHokie]

The ''But if he cares about you, that should be good enough'' isn't what I'm willing to settle anymore. I want him to have all 3 qualities: looks, personality and ambition.

 

Agreed. The key words being "good enough." I never want to be just "good enough" for someone. The moment those words are uttered, I associate it with giving up.

[mesmerized]

Of course not true. You actually get way more men below your league hitting on you because men are the ones who approach and they won't bother for a girl below them or even on their level sometimes. You'll have a harder time with men above your league because then again they don't care for women below them and are reaching for women even better looking than them.

[ltjg45]

Overall: awesome in looks, personality and ambition. Is this really asking too much?

 

If you was a male looking for a female, maybe not.

 

Considering you are a female looking for a male that has that, good luck finding one that is single and doesn't have major issues.

 

Good-looking men is far rarer than good-looking women.

 

This is why males, in general, can get away with having a higher priority on looks than females does. A good number of females is far better looking than almost any male they interact with.

[spiderowl]

I don't think it is true. I've been asked out by very attractive men, but almost couldn't believe it at the time. I'm average, I would say, even below average, but guys have never treated me as such. Unfortunately, I was shy too, so declined and now I kick myself at some missed opportunities as some of the guys were decent people too.

 

But you know there is something else to think about. Someone once said that a guy is only as faithful as his options. In other words, very attractive guys would have a hard job staying faithful because they have so much choice. I suspect there is a lot of truth in that. My sister, who happens to be very beautiful (completely different to me) could have her pick really, but she told me she avoids men who are very physically attractive. She thinks they are players and rely on their looks too much and she prefers someone constant and caring instead. I think this is very mature considering she has many options herself.

 

The point is that these very attractive guys are not always the best options. Apart from the fact that they are surrounded by women who think they are perfect, physically attractive does not mean interesting or intelligent. I used to be ensnared by the 'halo effect' too (assuming that beautiful means good/clever), but now I'm older I find I'm not at all swayed by that. I see people more as a personality in a shell (sorry if that sounds creepy). If you close your eyes and listen to what that attractive girl/guy is saying, you might be surprised at how vapid and boring it is. I prefer interesting and intelligent these days. Obviously, I wouldn't be attracted to someone who literally physically repelled me, but most guys have attractive features and if they have a great personality too, then they are definitely worth my time.

[MsSmurf]

According to friends and family (and sometimes strangers) I'm never with guys that match me in looks. I've always considered myself cute which seems average, but anytime I meet someone new the consensus is always "you can do so much better than him" or "you're so pretty why are you dating him" or "really? him?" and I really just don't get how I'm supposed to be doing better. The really hot guys never talk to me, so why would I go chasing after them? I would not say that I've been wildly physically attracted to every guy I've dated or been interested in, but they had other qualities that I thought were more important.

[BrokenPrincess]

I too have always wanted a very attractive mate. The serious relationships I've had (including my husband), have all been with attractive guys--and not just looks, but nice personalities, educated, smart, funny as well. All 3 routinely get approached by women. For years I've felt kinda surprised that I "got" these guys, and I actually thought they were all more attractive than me.

 

And then it occurred to me, maybe I am actually more attractive than I think I am. Is that crazy?

 

Anyway, I think it us strange that you insist in demanding more than you offer. Why would the other person want you? And could your attitude be partially driving some if these below par suitors? You could be making yourself even less attractive....

[hppr]

The OP is just conceited that's all. I meet lots of people like that these days, I think it's because it is becoming easier and easier to lead a very self-centered life that doesn't involve as much honest interaction with other people.

[hppr]

Someone once said that a guy is only as faithful as his options. In other words, very attractive guys would have a hard job staying faithful because they have so much choice.

 

I'd say that's true not just looks though. Generally what I see is that women 'date down' a bit in the looks department in exchange for other qualities, like a man's personality/humor and ability to provide a sense of security and support. Women put more emphasis on those things than men do when it comes to mating time.

[Esoteric Elf]

If correct, I attract no one, so I must have looks on the level of no one. It confused the heck out of me, at first, but then I realized what that meant.

[Archgirl]

I never understand the whole numbers/levels thing.

 

Like you attract a variety of people.

 

Some you are attracted to and some you aren't.

 

I've dated everything from a stripper turned model, to a cop, to a tattoo artist/crim, a firefighter, a mechanic and a couple of academics. They all looked really different. And I'm still single.

 

And I still find it repellant that people would be rating me.

Edited April 14, 2013 by Archgirl

[hppr]

I never understand the whole numbers/levels thing.

 

Yeah it's a joke, one man's 10 is another's 7 and when women ask us what we think of their number we almost always say "oh, 7, maybe 8, you're pretty cute" even if we don't think so just to be polite. Really there are people who are very attractive looking, people who are very unattractive looking, with the majority in between, and oftentimes it depends on who is doing the looking...

[PJKino]

This site always othe myth that women arent as shallow as men

[KathyM]

I know some women IRL who are average looking, but still managed to snag a man that is a hottie with a lot going for him (intelligence, personality, etc.) I think you just have to be in the right place at the right time, and lucky enough to find a guy that is good looking himself, but doesn't place that quality in such high regard as some do. So it's not like it can't happen. I also see the opposite--very attractive women with Regular Joes. Most people, however, will want someone that is on a similar level lookswise than they are, if not better. I wouldn't recommend going to the extreme of having plastic surgery done or moving to another country just to find this dreamboat if you are having luck finding an average looking guy without it. I remember your picture on here when you had it in your avatar, and I don't remember your nose being particularly misshapen, so I question if having a nose job is going to have the effect that you are hoping for. The guys who have a lot going for them (including looks) are usually going to want the whole package in the person they are dating as well. Those that don't care about looks that much, but have it themselves, are just a matter of luck in finding them. In the meantime, you would be passing up a lot of really nice guys while waiting for that hottie that may never come. Doesn't seem like putting your life on hold or going to extremes like plastic surgery is the best answer.

[hppr]

Doesn't seem like putting your life on hold or going to extremes like plastic surgery is the best answer.

 

Plastic surgery isn't an extreme honestly, I see tons of women with fake chests running around these days. The problem is the OP doesn't want to put in any effort, that's all. She only gets hit on by fuggo guys, fine...get off your butt, hit up the gym, go on a diet, dress sexy, put on some makeup, flirt with guys...you know, what all the other girls are doing in order to get guys...

[samsungxoxo]

I remember your picture on here when you had it in your avatar, and I don't remember your nose being particularly misshapen, so I question if having a nose job is going to have the effect that you are hoping for.

Oh yes, I had put my picture for a very short time here.

 

Here is an updated one from last week at KFC:

Laychick - View Profile - City-Data Forum

[ltjg45]

Oh yes, I had put my picture for a very short time here.

 

Here is an updated one from last week at KFC:

Laychick - View Profile - City-Data Forum

 

You look just fine. I would have no issues dating you.

 

And you are certainly not fat. Perhaps you can shed a few pounds but you are fine just the way you are.

[KungFuJoe]

Oh yes, I had put my picture for a very short time here.

 

Here is an updated one from last week at KFC:

Laychick - View Profile - City-Data Forum

 

You want a good looking guy?

 

Here's some tips.

 

Learn to smile...I've seen other pics of you and you never smile.

Hit the gym, improve your diet. You could stand to lose a few pounds.

Your wardrobe needs major improvement. I'm not a chick so I can't recommend anything, but coming from a guy, what you are wearing would be a turn off.

Probably could do something different with your hair...let it down...or something.

 

You're not ugly and you have the exotic look going in your favor. You have potential, but just to be completely straight up with you, I would NOT date the woman that is in that pic.

[Revolver]

That's not true. I guarantee Beyonce has had tons of ugly and below average men approach her in her life and she's georgous

 

But I've heard many attractive women complain that only average guys approach or hit on them. I think why this might happen is many attractive guys(the ones they naturally match up with) dont approach women. They sit back and wait for girls to come to them and they can do this because women go out of there way to approach this guys.

Edited April 15, 2013 by Revolver

[tuxedo cat]

I don't think this is necessarily true. I mean it's probably true that if you were to average the looks of everybody you date that average would be close to your own level of attractiveness, but it's possible to date a wide range of people.

 

When I was younger ALL of the guys I dated were below average looking. I had very low self esteem at the time and I was intimidated by attractive men. Now that I'm older I've dated more attractive guys, although I also date average looking guys who have other qualities I like. The guy I'm seeing now is very good looking.

 

My experience has been that better looking men are on average less devoted boyfriends because they have more options. Between looks and personality, I'd always pick personality.

 

I also think very attractive men are less likely to approach, because as someone wrote earlier in this thread men usually try to trade up in looks and may even ignore women who fall into their league. Attractive men also tend to be more passive about asking people out because women come to them.

[AD1980]

So even average looking women want only hot men these days which is why i dont approach women

[KathyM]

Oh yes, I had put my picture for a very short time here.

 

Here is an updated one from last week at KFC:

Laychick - View Profile - City-Data Forum

Oh, I had mistaken you for another poster. I would agree with the poster that suggested joining a gym and getting a bit more toned, possibly losing 20 lbs. Work on your smile a bit. A better, more flattering/stylish wardrobe would be nice. Maybe experiment with other hairstyles.

 

It is true, of course, that very attractive men will attract other women, and if your self esteem and self confidence are not solid, it may cause some insecurity on your part. Having a very attractive person as a partner will have the dynamic that other women are hitting on your guy. Are you sure you want that dynamic? It appears (at least to me) that in the relationships I see where there is an attractiveness gap between partners, there is also more insecurity, jealousy and sensitivity when it comes to their partner. You may find yourself wishing your boyfriend were not so attractive when you have to deal with this interest from other women that comes with the territory of having a very attractive partner.

 

So by all means make the most of what you've got. Make some changes if necessary, within reason. But understand that you're going to have to keep your insecurities in check and your self esteem high if you want a relationship with such a partner to work out.