KungFuJoe Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Op, Your problem lies deeper than physical looks. You have self esteem issues. MAJOR self esteem issues and until you work those out, you will NOT find a man of any self worth. At least not one that will treat you with respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 I get what USMCHokie is saying. It sounds shallow, but I think there is a lot of truth behind it I mean, if any of you ladies were dating a guy that looked like Ryan Gosling...wouldn't you be telling all your friends about the new hot guy you are with? You can't tell me you wouldn't have a sort of "self pride" about the fact that you were capable of snagging someone that looked like that. Looks are VERY important. VERY. Sometimes I think aspects such as sex and looks are thought of as shallow because they don't last, like personality supposedly does. It's not "forever" so you're supposed to take it with a grain of salt. But it definitely doesn't take away from the importance and value that someone places on it.Yes, if that happened then I would be posting pictures about us right away on facebook. I would even go all the way to going to that bodybuilding.com site (the site where those guys thought I wasn't good enough) and put it out right in their face. The title of the thread would be something like ''I want what I wanted''. Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I get what USMCHokie is saying. It sounds shallow, but I think there is a lot of truth behind it I mean, if any of you ladies were dating a guy that looked like Ryan Gosling...wouldn't you be telling all your friends about the new hot guy you are with? You can't tell me you wouldn't have a sort of "self pride" about the fact that you were capable of snagging someone that looked like that. Looks are VERY important. VERY. Sometimes I think aspects such as sex and looks are thought of as shallow because they don't last, like personality supposedly does. It's not "forever" so you're supposed to take it with a grain of salt. But it definitely doesn't take away from the importance and value that someone places on it. I agree lets not bs here looks/lust are what the majority of relationships are about sure their needs to be a connection but without the physical its a friendship. The only people who care that looks matter tons are the less fortunate looking who realize theyre at a huge disadvantage and wont know what its like to have the opposite sex get extremely hot for you. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Yes, if that happened then I would be posting pictures about us right away on facebook. I would even go all the way to going to that bodybuilding.com site (the site where those guys thought I wasn't good enough) and put it out right in their face. The title of the thread would be something like ''I want what I wanted''. Why are you so concerned about what others think of your guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted April 16, 2013 Author Share Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) Why are you so concerned about what others think of your guy?Not that I'm concern but I would prove them wrong. I guess the main reason would be to rub it in their faces, which is a natural reaction when someone didn't think you were good enough. Ego I guess. Main reason: I have never been on a date with a 8-10/10 looking guy before while one of my female friends was. Edited April 16, 2013 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Perhaps this is why some who are good looking, avoid people who consider them trophies instead of loved partners. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 I know if somebody considered me that attractive I would not want them to date me just so they can get back at the people on Bodybuilding.com. Who cares about a bunch of steroid addicts? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) Contact lenses, nose fix, eyelashes extention, hair cut, lazer treatment, braces, etc.... and I might be able to meet him. True, he's not gonna meet my real physical me but a changed one but at least I'll be aiming for what I want. Honestly I think the ugliest thing about you in that picture was your contemptful, sneering expression. I'd tell you I think you're pretty (and I do) but I don't want to be another one of those ugly-to-average guys who insult you with our attention. Edit: This sounds a bit more passive aggressive than I intended. Basic point stands, though. Edited April 16, 2013 by DannyMason Link to post Share on other sites
Roadkill007 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 On the OP, maybe in your youth you focused a bit too much on the pure romance aspect of it all, that now that you appreciate/prefer other aspects of your potential partner, that you lost your sweet tooth? Or maybe you're just longing for what might have been... grass is always greener on the other side Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Exactly. Attractiveness is subjective anyway so one person's 5 can be another person's 10. Yes and no. It is indeed true that attractiveness is subjective and the statement "one person's 5 can be another person's 10" is not wrong. Then again someone's attractiveness in the eyes of others is not completely random either. If that would be true than physical appareance would be irrelevant and that is simply not true. Let's pick out a completely average person as an example - on average they should get a 5.5/10 (don't take this too literally because in real life attraction is not easily definable by numbers but for the sake of this argument it makes it a whole lot more understandable). It is indeed not the case that if a certain amount of people would 'rate' this person they all would rate a 5.5. However it is also unlikely that the same fractions of the participants rate 1, 2, 3 etc untill 10 with an average 5.5. So what is likely? I would guess that a Bell-curve (gaussian function) gives the best representation of what would happen. A major fraction of people are going to rate our completely average guy/girl as a 5 or 6, a smaller fraction decides on 4 or 7, and even lower fraction goes as far as 3 or 8 and so forth. The average remains on 5.5. That way, attraction is subjective - but it also does matter. I have no clue how 'broad' the peak is (standard deviation) but I would expect such a result if conducting an independent test. So its completely natural to find someone either slightly above or below your own perceived standard of beauty. I suppose problems arise if you're looking for a partner that falls into the far right of the bell curve. In other words: you're going to look for that insignificant fraction of people that rate you significantly above your average. Add in that they also have to qualify as 'very hot' on your scale and you get a multiplication of two low odds = really low odd. But that is just my take on it - IRL I'd never rationalize this so quantitatively but in this discussion it helps to make a point come across. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly24 Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 You know OP, when I was younger I worked really hard to be super thin. Now I have more curves and I'm very self aware of them, it bothers me. Yet, now I've been attracting really good looking men lately. Here is what I've learned in my short time dating after a long marriage...different men like different looks/women. So hold out for that one who is most attractive to you. But be open, because the handsome man that does come along may not be the 10 you have in mind right now...but he'll be your 10. Link to post Share on other sites
Infnitysign Posted April 16, 2013 Share Posted April 16, 2013 Very attractive trait is to value yourself more or equal to your partner. Have ambition and don't always do what they want. You have to have a 2 sided relationship where compromise comes to play. Being a the person who care less will causally work very well. Link to post Share on other sites
ComeUpOutDaWahta Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Honestly, the question I'm really getting from the OP is "Why won't a perfect guy who's out of my league just walk right into my life and sweep me off my feet?" Because, well, things don't work that way. You're honestly getting frustrated because your dream man doesn't just show up at your front doorstep. Have the other good things in your life come to you in much the same way? What's funny is that there's really NO way to answer your question. You're not asking what you can do to change it, you're just wondering why things aren't just happening for you. Link to post Share on other sites
arthus1 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I always attract really ugly women which is extremely less than my looks, women think I'm handsome. But I don't date ugly women no matter what, I have to have supermodels. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 (edited) Womens entitlement..they were told as kids tall handsome prince charming would sweep them off their feet and sadly even as adults some cant seperate fantasy from reality.. Edited April 17, 2013 by PJKino Link to post Share on other sites
HopelessRomantic76 Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 My friends are all married to average looking men they weren't that attracted to but thought they were safe and reliable and for the most part they are but my frineds have no spark with them and lust after hot men everywhere we go and are sorry they got married so the message is DONT SETTLE!!! I feel we as girls are afraid to be supercfical or shallow well we are and like men we love hot members of the opposite sex and should not be ashamed of it so dont settle for an average guy who will be a decent partner but wont set your panteis on fire there are hot guys out there who will date you Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 My friends are all married to average looking men they weren't that attracted to but thought they were safe and reliable and for the most part they are but my frineds have no spark with them and lust after hot men everywhere we go and are sorry they got married so the message is DONT SETTLE!!! I feel we as girls are afraid to be supercfical or shallow well we are and like men we love hot members of the opposite sex and should not be ashamed of it so dont settle for an average guy who will be a decent partner but wont set your panteis on fire there are hot guys out there who will date you I am a guy, and I agree with this for the most part. Hot guys will date you. They most likely won't date you exclusively or marry you, but they certainly will date and have sex with you. You should not settle for a boring marriage when you can have a hot, steamy dating life! Of course if you want to be in a committed, monogamous relationship, your only options will be guys who want to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with you... Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 That's the first thing that attracts you on a date. Long ago, I was asked out by a guy who was studying culinary arts (yes, smart and good personality) but ulgy in the looks department. On top of that, he also had a case of moderate acne and I didn't know how to turn him down. That guy had problem finding a date. Eventually I told him I liked him as a friend but after about 2 weeks later. Needless to say, I heard from my female friend that he was kinda hurt. Looks is important too on a date. Makes sense to me. Probably doesn't help that I'm a guy, so of course it's harder to tell where I generally stand. I would have no problem attracting my equal in terms of appearance.. I've just never really attracted anyone in general, so how am I supposed to have an idea of whether or not I'm being delusional? I'm reluctant to even bother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 Makes sense to me. Probably doesn't help that I'm a guy, so of course it's harder to tell where I generally stand. I would have no problem attracting my equal in terms of appearance.. I've just never really attracted anyone in general, so how am I supposed to have an idea of whether or not I'm being delusional? I'm reluctant to even bother. I know that feeling, I don't attract anyone in general, so how am I supposed to know what "league" I'm in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 24, 2013 Share Posted April 24, 2013 OP if you want to date a man who looks like this https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BD-JO-2CMAAsZqd.jpg:large Then you need to look like this http://www.feetceleb.com/jamie-koeppe/jamie-koeppe-feet-1.jpg Pretty simple really Just goes to show that it's all subjective, and only objective to the extent of standard symmetry and proportion.. Neither of them are attractive to me, which isn't to say that they aren't attractive, but not universally. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Just goes to show that it's all subjective, and only objective to the extent of standard symmetry and proportion.. Neither of them are attractive to me, which isn't to say that they aren't attractive, but not universally. The dude has an ugly face for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 The dude has an ugly face for sure. I'd say so. Coming from a guy who WOULD be a butter face.. if he was actually muscular. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Just goes to show that it's all subjective, and only objective to the extent of standard symmetry and proportion.. Neither of them are attractive to me, which isn't to say that they aren't attractive, but not universally. I would do terrible terrible things to a women like that... just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted April 28, 2013 Author Share Posted April 28, 2013 I am a guy, and I agree with this for the most part. Hot guys will date you. They most likely won't date you exclusively or marry you, but they certainly will date and have sex with you. You should not settle for a boring marriage when you can have a hot, steamy dating life! Of course if you want to be in a committed, monogamous relationship, your only options will be guys who want to be in a committed, monogamous relationship with you...Yes, I do want a committed relationship that will lead to marriage eventually. But I'm sure there are hot guys that are serious at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted April 28, 2013 Author Share Posted April 28, 2013 OP if you want to date a man who looks like this https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BD-JO-2CMAAsZqd.jpg:large Then you need to look like this http://www.feetceleb.com/jamie-koeppe/jamie-koeppe-feet-1.jpg Pretty simple reallyOk, not sure if I come close to attracting a guy like that. Here is a picture of me from hours ago. Laychick - View Profile - City-Data Forum Link to post Share on other sites
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